Team Wilshere

First topic message reminder :

The first task - DEADLINE 2359 ON THURSDAY 22 NOVEMBER - is very simple. England played Sweden on Wednesday night - I want you to tell me what each of the starting XI would be doing if they weren't footballers. To be clear: this isn't a test of what did Joe Hart get in his Art GSCE, but a test of character assessment. You tell me what each player would be suited to in the real world, and the winning team will get a luxury prize. And from the losing team, one of you will be FIRED!

Viva, you are the Captain of Team Wilshere, and Olly, you are the Captain of Team Scholes. Please ask questions if you need any clarity.

Lord Azzy Mahmood

Hart - Lonely heart adverst for twilight fanboys
Johnson
Caulker DIY Handyman
Cahill road works spends most time on greggs
Baines part time Batman nemesis Bane (Baines)
Cleverley Salesman for marmite love him or hate him
Gerrard does security for dj incase they get attacked by Footballers
Osman Sells kebabs from his ice cream van
Young diving instructor in Birmingham
Sterling - Right wing politician
Welbeck Bambi

Danny Welbeck looks a bit like he should be an extra in Fresh Prince of Bel Air or for Kid and Play.

Could be something in there.

Welbeck is a tough one, he don't look like the musical type or gangsta.

Kenan & Kel?

Danny Welbeck looks a bit like he should be an extra in Fresh Prince of Bel Air or for Kid and Play.

Some sort of sitcom actor I reckon.

I always think he looks like he doesn't have complete control over his limbs.

There's a lad like that in my son's team. He's grown miles faster than anyone else but as a result hasn't got used to his body, when he runs it's like a daddy long legs having a fit.

BigFellasAfro wrote:I always think he looks like he doesn't have complete control over his limbs.

Me too. Bambi?

Me too. Bambi?

Bambi is a good one as his leg are long and he looks like hes trying to run on ice away from the fire that burnt him mommy to a crisp

So he is playing Bambi in Bill Kenwright's West End production, starring alongside Carlton Palmer as his mother

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

Me too. Bambi?

Bambi is a good one as his leg are long and he looks like hes trying to run on ice away from the fire that burnt him mommy to a crisp

Didn't mummy dear get shot up by mans with a shotty?

BOOOM

My boss has just bought the tickets for annie mac off me haha
going on 6am rave with my boss, how many people can say that?

Welbeck: Continue whatever it is he does atm

Come on team.

Im here

Lets do it.

Let Go !!!

On and off for next day and a half, but will post as much as I can.

Had to take a days holiday tomorrow to look after my son so it will all depend on how much of a handful he is and also how much work comes my way this afternoon as a consequence of them knowing I'm not here tomorrow

Jafro, neglecting your apprentice duties, tut tut lol

Unfortunately real world parenting comes before games on the internet.

I'll dedicate some time to this this evening fellas.

BigFellasAfro wrote:

Unfortunately real world parenting comes before games on the internet.

I can imagine explaining it to the police:

"How do justify your neglect of your unwell son?"
"It was very important that I came up with an occupation for Danny Welbeck outside of football"

Unfortunately real world parenting comes before games on the internet.

Thats a tough call.

Thinking about Sterling, we could go for a different angle.

He is a right winger, so how about setting up the Anfield Branch of the BNP or Nazi parties. Or even as a Nick Griffin impersonator.

Play on his position and the obvious irony of his cultural background in there as well

Will Azzy understand that Afro? haha

He's an intelligent man.

We might need to explain it a little otherwise it's just

Sterling - run's the Anfield BNP

That would need explaining

We need to nail down the ideas for the remaining starting eleven here fellas.

Hart - Runs lonely heart website for twilight fanboys who are unable to use their phone to meet aging ginger footballers.
Johnson
Caulker
Cahill
Baines - Decides to take up cosplay as Batman's nemesis Bane
Cleverley
Gerrard
Osman
Young - Becomes Tom Daley's latest rival at the 2016 Rio Olympics
Sterling - Takes his right wing a bit too far and joins the Nazi party
Welbeck - Becomes the first person to have his head surgically attached to a fawn and becomes a sideshow act at a circus.

Osman - Kebab shop owner?
Johnson - Salesman at BnQ

Young needs to be sets up a skuba diving school in Birmingham, as that links into his past a bit more.

Cleverley as a Marmite salesman

Caulker - DIY handyman, uses a Caulking Gun on a regular basis

Gerrard - Owns and runs a bouncer agency to protect DJ's from being punched when they dont play footballers songs

Cleverley - Runs the church of Wilshere.

Come on guys we need to put more effort in.

Gary Cahill is a tricky one. I can't think of anything he has done out of the ordinary, he looks normal

Gary Cahill is a tricky one. I can't think of anything he has done out of the ordinary, he looks normal

Hes just so dull !!!!

Rowan Atkinson is giving up playing Mr Bean, he could take over that role?

Nah, Mr Bean is funny. Cahill just look seems like the type that wouldnt be.
He seems like the Mr Boring you'll find on something like Come Dine With Me. Mr No Personality

Computer Analyst

Talking clock?

Normally it is a simulated but he seems to have the personality to do it live

HOw about hes the result of experimental drugs?

Cahill looks like a builder (Road works) to me who spends most of his time in Greggs eating a sausage roll.

Cahill - Dull check out guy at Waitrose ???

What did people think of my Gerrard one:
Gerrard - Owns and runs a bouncer agency to protect DJ's from being punched when they dont play footballers songs

Cahill looks like a builder (Road works) to me who spends most of his time in Greggs eating a sausage roll.

YES! I like that actually. He a grafter.

I like the Cahill one and the Gerrard one too.

With Cahill one we could be more specific like working on roads near the Bolton Greggs superstore

So we decided on Cahill then. Hes a one of those hole diggers for Eon/Severn Trent etc who works up in Bolton and visits Greggs twice a day, in the morning for a bacon roll and lunch time for a sausage roll

Johnson, Caulker and Osman left.

I said Johnson could be sales assistant for B&Q, Osman owns a kebab shop in east london and I dont know about Caulker.

Didn't Nick mention something about Caulker and him using plumber's caulk?

He could specialise in it having sent up branches in Bristol and Swansea, North London and now Sweden

Caulker - DIY handyman, uses a Caulking Gun on a regular basis

Sorted!!

Johnson I dislike can hes an aweful at his job, defending, so I say whatever it is hes sweful; at it

Lets finish this off today.

Ok we're just need to do Johnson and we're done. When that is done I'll give everyone a couple of players to do, 4 lines should be enough. I won't be giving any to Hero as he has another role which I cant mention incase the other lot see it.

Viva - CAPTAIN
Zebs
Hero
CF
Cherries
Gregers
GSC
Afro

Gregers, Cherries, and CF I've not seen enough off I'll give you some time to come on here so I know that I can give you a player to do if not I'll distrubyte it among the ones that are here.

Didnt know I was in this, pm me a player and I'll try and get it done at lunch