The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

Sh1t on here today.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:I have my gay friends coming to visit us on Sunday. Superfly has inspired me to raise my game. When a buckfast addled psuedo intellectual is more cultured than me you know it is time to raise your game.

We have gay couple as friends as well.  The kids call them both uncle.

I will ask them if they bone each other every night and report back to Seany.

That's a bit vulgar, Tino. I think gays prefer the term "bum each other".

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:I have my gay friends coming to visit us on Sunday. Superfly has inspired me to raise my game. When a buckfast addled psuedo intellectual is more cultured than me you know it is time to raise your game.

We have gay couple as friends as well.  The kids call them both uncle.

I will ask them if they bone each other every night and report back to Seany.

I am genuinely intrigued by how a wedding would work, do they both have best men, does one or both of them get given away? I may try and find out Sunday. They have just been accepted for adoption though so I would guess I would have to feign interest in that.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:I have my gay friends coming to visit us on Sunday. Superfly has inspired me to raise my game. When a buckfast addled psuedo intellectual is more cultured than me you know it is time to raise your game.

We have gay couple as friends as well.  The kids call them both uncle.

I will ask them if they bone each other every night and report back to Seany.

I am genuinely intrigued by how a wedding would work, do they both have best men, does one or both of them get given away? I may try and find out Sunday. They have just been accepted for adoption though so I would guess I would have to feign interest in that.

It's always been a dream of mine to adopt a gay married couple.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:I have my gay friends coming to visit us on Sunday. Superfly has inspired me to raise my game. When a buckfast addled psuedo intellectual is more cultured than me you know it is time to raise your game.

We have gay couple as friends as well.  The kids call them both uncle.

I will ask them if they bone each other every night and report back to Seany.

I am genuinely intrigued by how a wedding would work, do they both have best men, does one or both of them get given away? I may try and find out Sunday. They have just been accepted for adoption though so I would guess I would have to feign interest in that.

I don't know either. Our gay friends aren't married, they live in sin.

My old Nan nearly sh*t herself at my wedding when we explained they were two men who lived together. She nearly walked out.

They are not married yet Galted, if they were I am reasonably sure my above queries would have been resolved.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:So would I if he hadn't trawled round after me correcting my typo's recently.

Nice to see you finally using an apostrophe. Shame you used it in a plural word that shouldn't have it.

Do they have a shared stag do or separate ones?

Galted wrote:Do they have a shared stag do or separate ones

Where is Duty when you need him?

Lot of "psuedo" being thrown around on here today....

These are all the questions I need answers to Galted. If we want to put together some sort of top ten questions I am more than willing to try and get them resolved. Please bear in mind though TSMR will be there and will get me done if they are too crude (michaels)

Rowley wrote:They are not married yet Galted, if they were I am reasonably sure my above queries would have been resolved.

  

Queries.

Very good.

(I'm not Suman Mahanta, 22, Indian singer, traffic collision.)

Rowley wrote: If we want to put together some sort of top ten questions I am more than willing to try and get them resolved.

1) Do they know my gay friends?

2) Do they go to Scissor Sisters gigs?

They are the only 2 I need answers for.

1) How many times can someone reassure you they aren't gay, before you have to assume they are?
2) Are thigh shorts really owned by gay people? I mean they already have rainbows, and pink.
3) Do they go to the gym?

Does the more girly one of the pair turn randomly psychotic and shout at the other one because he exposes a poorly-written novel such as Crime and Punishment as pretentious sh1t?

kingraf wrote:3) Do they go to the gym?

Why, you hoping to get lucky Raf?

TopHat's back. He's immediately hunting down C_S for ridicule though instead of popping onto the Culture Cup to say hello. I find this quite caddish.

Rowley wrote:

kingraf wrote:3) Do they go to the gym?

Why, you hoping to get lucky Raf?

just hoping they'll dispell the homoerotic myth. I like gay people, them hitting on me always helps my self image. A bit like a gay urologist asking you out on a date following an appointment.

Galted wrote:Does the more girly one of the pair turn randomly psychotic and shout at the other one because he exposes a poorly-written novel such as Crime and Punishment as pretentious sh1t?

I sat in Balans on Compton Street a few years back with the butch half of the gay couple we know whilst Mrs Windows went shopping with the camper one.

I got chatted up by a young Portuguese chap. True story. He had been to the natural history museum and had bought one of those plastic 'lion head on a stick' toys that you pull the handle and the mouth snaps shut. He rather playfully nipped me on the shoulder with it whilst I was having a drink.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Does the more girly one of the pair turn randomly psychotic and shout at the other one because he exposes a poorly-written novel such as Crime and Punishment as pretentious sh1t?

I sat in Balans on Compton Street a few years back with the butch half of the gay couple we know whilst Mrs Windows went shopping with the camper one.

I got chatted up by a young Portuguese chap.  True story.  He had been to the natural history museum and had bought one of those plastic 'lion head on a stick' toys that you pull the handle and the mouth snaps shut.  He rather playfully nipped me on the shoulder with it whilst I was having a drink.

Did you playfully glass him?

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Does the more girly one of the pair turn randomly psychotic and shout at the other one because he exposes a poorly-written novel such as Crime and Punishment as pretentious sh1t?

I sat in Balans on Compton Street a few years back with the butch half of the gay couple we know whilst Mrs Windows went shopping with the camper one.

I got chatted up by a young Portuguese chap.  True story.  He had been to the natural history museum and had bought one of those plastic 'lion head on a stick' toys that you pull the handle and the mouth snaps shut.  He rather playfully nipped me on the shoulder with it whilst I was having a drink.

Did you playfully glass him?

No. I'm a peaceful man.

There's a new temp in the online department. I'm quite frustrated at the fact that she doesn't melt at mere sight of me. Need to hit the gym harder. The shirts obviously aren't tight enough.

At our Christmas do this year our new gay receptionist in theLondon office fancied me, which given I am a fat bearded middle aged northerner and he is about 17 was a little ridiculous, particularly as in my younger days I was never what one would consider a handsome man.

I was probably as flattered as I have ever been by anything.

Rowley wrote:At our Christmas do this year our new gay receptionist in theLondon office fancied me, which given I am a fat bearded middle aged northerner and he is about 17 was a little ridiculous, particularly as in my younger days I was never what one would consider a handsome man.

I was probably as flattered as I have ever been by anything.

He probably saw a potential sugar daddy

Rowley wrote:At our Christmas do this year our new gay receptionist in theLondon office fancied me, which given I am a fat bearded middle aged northerner and he is about 17 was a little ridiculous, particularly as in my younger days I was never what one would consider a handsome man.

I was probably as flattered as I have ever been by anything.

Maybe he's got a Gimli fetish.

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:At our Christmas do this year our new gay receptionist in theLondon office fancied me, which given I am a fat bearded middle aged northerner and he is about 17 was a little ridiculous, particularly as in my younger days I was never what one would consider a handsome man.

I was probably as flattered as I have ever been by anything.

Maybe he's got a Gimli fetish.

  

Notice Sean has disappeared now the Culture Cup has gone pink.

Just shared my frustrations with the temp. Apparently has a steady relationship with some guy with an Indian name and a lovely Beemer. Obviously into guys with bulging wallets, rather than bulging biceps. lady of loose morals

kingraf wrote:Just shared my frustrations with the temp. Apparently has a steady relationship with some guy with an Indian name and a lovely Beemer. Obviously into guys with bulging wallets, rather than bulging biceps. lady of loose morals

Most of them like a bit of muscle but won't admit to it. Try breaking one of her wrists to show her how strong you are.

dammit, I typed who.re, and it spews lady of loose morals.

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:Just shared my frustrations with the temp. Apparently has a steady relationship with some guy with an Indian name and a lovely Beemer. Obviously into guys with bulging wallets, rather than bulging biceps. lady of loose morals

Most of them like a bit of muscle but won't admit to it. Try breaking one of her wrists to show her how strong you are.

Good idea. She'll be mighty impressed at my ability to snap her like a twig

kingraf wrote:dammit, I typed who.re, and it spews lady of loose morals.

I'd like something that spews ladies of loose morals.

Golf this evening.

Yay!

Union Cane wrote:Golf this evening.

Yay!

Yay!

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Golf this evening.

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Union Cane wrote:Golf this evening.

Yay!

Enjoy mate. Seem to be playing a lot of golf lately. Hope to baby Jesus you are improving.

I seem to have plateaued recently, but I've just acquired a new set of irons so should hopefully kick on and get under 90 this year.

Union Cane wrote:I seem to have plateaued recently, but I've just acquired a new set of irons so should hopefully kick on and get under 90 this year.

Found that getting a few lessons of coaching takes more shots off your score than any set of woods ever will. Playing at the Kempton Park CC (Ernie Els' home club) this weekend, and I'd love to break 75. On a four handicap, myself.

I can only dream of such scores, I took the game up 30 years too late.

Do something Tina, they are discussing golf. If you want to be the self appointed head of this cup is about time you earned those laurels.

Union Cane wrote:I can only dream of such scores, I took the game up 30 years too late.

Possibly, I started playing a little late myself, I'm a southpaw, and customized Southpaw woods for an eight-year old were a little pricey. Only started at about thirteen, but I do seem to pick up sports pretty quickly - provincial rugby, cricket, tennis, and district athletics. Don't think anybody in the world is actually bad enough to shoot a 90. Normally a case of bad technique, paired with the assumption that all will be better with a new set of sticks. Get some coaching, if they are any good, you'll likely take 6-10 shots depending on your actual ability) in less than a year.


Expensive golf clubs (and tennis racquets really) only improve your game if you are any good to begin with. Bit like buying an HDMI cable for a standard TV

Rowley wrote:Do something Tina, they are discussing golf. If you want to be the self appointed head of this cup is about time you earned those laurels.

Fat, middle-aged man like yourself... You only have golf left. Should look into it.

The matter is in the hands of our chairperson now Raf. I have nothing more to say on the subject.

Rowley wrote:Do something Tina, they are discussing golf. If you want to be the self appointed head of this cup is about time you earned those laurels.

It's a f*cking liberty I tell you.

Blame Adam. If he had given me real power, rather than just a nice badge, I would ban the pair of bastards.

Sorry, had a painfully childish meeting to attend.

I thought I'd have loads of questions for gays but I've gone blank.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Do something Tina, they are discussing golf. If you want to be the self appointed head of this cup is about time you earned those laurels.

It's a f*cking liberty I tell you.

Blame Adam.  If he had given me real power, rather than just a nice badge, I would ban the pair of bastards.

You make a nice token Head of Culture Cup, if its any consolation.

I bet gays don't like gardening though. Maybe ask them that Rowley? A man's attitude to gardening says a lot about him.

kingraf wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Do something Tina, they are discussing golf. If you want to be the self appointed head of this cup is about time you earned those laurels.

It's a f*cking liberty I tell you.

Blame Adam.  If he had given me real power, rather than just a nice badge, I would ban the pair of bastards.

You make a nice token Head of Culture Cup, if its any consolation.

It is actually. Thanks.

It is Union I have an issue with. Middle age men taking up golf, dressing like c*nts and talking about their handicap all day. Morons.

seanmichaels wrote:I bet gays don't like gardening though. Maybe ask them that Rowley? A man's attitude to gardening says a lot about him.

I like gardening the pitch, while I play cricket. Wonder what that says. Tend to try create little cracks while I'm batting, if we bat first.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Do something Tina, they are discussing golf. If you want to be the self appointed head of this cup is about time you earned those laurels.

It's a f*cking liberty I tell you.

Blame Adam.  If he had given me real power, rather than just a nice badge, I would ban the pair of bastards.

Cheers Tina, it is good to know if you actually had any power to act, you would do so in a completely disproportionate and punitive manner. Hopefully that will be the warning shot they need.

kingraf wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I bet gays don't like gardening though. Maybe ask them that Rowley? A man's attitude to gardening says a lot about him.

I like gardening the pitch, while I play cricket. Wonder what that says. Tend to try create little cracks while I'm batting, if we bat first.

Batsmen make me laugh when they start prodding a pitch. Who would have thought a little tap with a 3lb piece of willow is more effective than a 2+ roller?

seanmichaels wrote:

kingraf wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I bet gays don't like gardening though. Maybe ask them that Rowley? A man's attitude to gardening says a lot about him.

I like gardening the pitch, while I play cricket. Wonder what that says. Tend to try create little cracks while I'm batting, if we bat first.

Batsmen make me laugh when they start prodding a pitch. Who would have thought a little tap with a 3lb piece of willow is more effective than a 2+ roller?

Dont think it will ever turn a glass pitch into a demon, but I do think sustained prodding pays off at the back end of the game. Sometimes

In my days as a swordsmen, I found that sustained prodding at the back end rarely paid dividends.