The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

As the old thread is reaching its max again, I thought I would set up a whole new 20 spare pages for you all to talk about things neither cultural or Cup based.

Not that it makes a difference.

All anthropod, cortex and mild stereotyping of northerners welcome in here.

Just don't ask about the 2014 cup competition though.

It's always the one you least expect.

Bit annoyed about the "cortex" bit.

Re: The Culture Cup round 6
by superflyweight Yesterday at 6:19 pm

.Sean's been quiet this afternoon. Three possible reasons.

Had a doppler scan. Nurse was very touchy feely and for a moment or 2 I thought I was going to be part of an extravagant porn scene.

Well I didn't see that coming, is this because the new article was a tirade of abuse in a banned font?

seanmichaels wrote:doppler scan

Doppler porn scenario is a new one on me sean

Frankly, whilst this is an unexpected twist, it is one that is not welcome with me. Over the last day or so waiting to see when the thread would split organically and who would have the pleasure of being the OP. This has been pretty much all I have been pondering and looking forward to finding out. I feel I have been cheated.

Rowley wrote:Frankly, whilst this is an unexpected twist, it is one that is not welcome with me. Over the last day or so waiting to see when the thread would split organically and who would have the pleasure of being the OP. This has been pretty much all I have been pondering and looking forward to finding out. I feel I have been cheated.

Report it to an admin then byatch

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:doppler scan

Doppler porn scenario is a new one on me sean

They put gel on certain points of your body then rub it with a d1ldo connected to a loud speaker. If things had gone further I expect it would have been a bit too niche for my tastes.

michaels wrote:I expect it would have been a bit too niche for my tastes

Crikey That is a line I would never have thought crossed

Adam D wrote:

Rowley wrote:Frankly, whilst this is an unexpected twist, it is one that is not welcome with me. Over the last day or so waiting to see when the thread would split organically and who would have the pleasure of being the OP. This has been pretty much all I have been pondering and looking forward to finding out. I feel I have been cheated.

Report it to an admin then byatch

I would like to apologise from my behaviour.

Although it was totally in character for me, I still feel that speaking it out loud was a mistake that I am ashamed of.

I hereby resign from the Culture Cup round 6 thread.

Adam D wrote:

Adam D wrote:

Rowley wrote:Frankly, whilst this is an unexpected twist, it is one that is not welcome with me. Over the last day or so waiting to see when the thread would split organically and who would have the pleasure of being the OP. This has been pretty much all I have been pondering and looking forward to finding out. I feel I have been cheated.

Report it to an admin then byatch

I would like to apologise from my behaviour.

Although it was totally in character for me, I still feel that speaking it out loud was a mistake that I am ashamed of.

I hereby resign from the Culture Cup round 6 thread.

Could you make Tino and me mods before you go please?

Adam D wrote:

Rowley wrote:Frankly, whilst this is an unexpected twist, it is one that is not welcome with me. Over the last day or so waiting to see when the thread would split organically and who would have the pleasure of being the OP. This has been pretty much all I have been pondering and looking forward to finding out. I feel I have been cheated.

Report it to an admin then byatch

It's easy to be glib, you are probably one of those people with a fulfilling and varied life outside of this forum. You probably enjoy your job, have hobbies and a wide and varied circle of friends. I have none of this, currently I have the spliting of the culture cup and an excessively long book about Jack Johnson. That is it! How does it feel to know you have ripped one of them away from me.

Galted wrote:Bit annoyed about the "cortex" bit.

I thought it was quite cerebral.

Rowley wrote:Frankly, whilst this is an unexpected twist, it is one that is not welcome with me. Over the last day or so waiting to see when the thread would split organically and who would have the pleasure of being the OP. This has been pretty much all I have been pondering and looking forward to finding out. I feel I have been cheated.

I agree - I even calculated/predicted which post it would be. And for what? Nothing!

And in the heading it is anthropod and not arthropod.

Tino is going to be unimpressed...

I have promoted Tino to a mod.

All bow down before him.

Adam D wrote:I have promoted Tino to a mod.

All bow down before him.

You're having a laugh. His own son doesn't respect him!

Adam D wrote:I have promoted Tino to a mod.

All bow down before him.

Adam, in a non-gay way, I love you.

rick_dagless wrote:And in the heading it is anthropod and not arthropod.

Tino is going to be unimpressed...

I have to assume the use of 'anthropod' and 'cortex' were deliberately wind-ups. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.

Adam D wrote:I have promoted Tino to a mod.

All bow down before him.

We finally really did it. YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! OH, DAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Adam D wrote:I have promoted Tino to a mod.

All bow down before him.

Adam, in a non-gay way, I love you.

His first act as a mod is one of homophobia. Glated says de-mod him!

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Adam D wrote:I have promoted Tino to a mod.

All bow down before him.

Adam, in a non-gay way, I love you.

His first act as a mod is one of homophobia.  Glated says de-mod him!

Watch your step sonny. He's one of us now.

Has Tino cleared the board in brandishing his new blue badge?

I think we're all still struggling to come to terms with Adam's hijacking of the normal running of the Culture Cup Round 6.

It does seem to have thrown the place into disarray somewhat.

Maybe there should be some kind of counselling thread

Yes. I think he locked it whilst he nipped to pret to get his new boss an espresso and croissant.

I've been that thrown by things I am writing a thread for the boxing board.

I do feel slightly discombobulated

I'm back.  I was so excited I had to tell my new boss the new girl all about my promotion.

Be careful, sean.  Be very careful.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm back.  I was so excited I had to tell my new boss the new girl all about my promotion.

Be careful, sean.  Be very careful.

Don't get too excited Tina, it just makes the demotions hurt more when they inevitably come.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm back.  I was so excited I had to tell my new boss the new girl all about my promotion.

Be careful, sean.  Be very careful.

What part of France is she from? Think I may emigrate. I washed my boat with the missus's face wash today. The smell reminded me of this fruit and veg store we go to on a roundabout in the south. For a couple of seconds I felt like I was actually there.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm back.  I was so excited I had to tell my new boss the new girl all about my promotion.

Be careful, sean.  Be very careful.

What part of France is she from? Think I may emigrate. I washed my boat with the missus's face wash today. The smell reminded me of this fruit and veg store we go to on a roundabout in the south. For  a couple of seconds I felt like I was actually there.

She is from Paris. That hasn't put me off though, she is very pleasant.

She keeps undressing me with her eyes but I am fine with that.

Has she got the hang of the barcode scanner yet?

Julius, I don't think you're allowed to take the p*ss out of me now I am in such exalted company.

I see myself as the bridge between Jeff's rugged but easy to outwit northern personality and your slightly aloof, but quite sharp, southern character.

I am the Mod from the people, for the people.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
I see myself as the bridge between Jeff's rugged but easy to outwit northern personality

I am trying to focus on ther rugged portion of this comment. Am trying to be a bit more of a glass half full kind of guy.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Has she got the hang of the barcode scanner yet?

Tino briefing the new team/his new bosses.





Tino after hearing there's a nursing home next door.

It only because that made me L*L that I will not pull the trigger on you, Galted.

Cheers, Tino, though it is a new low having to suck up to you.

If anyone wants me I'll be sitting in a cupboard self-harming.

Galted wrote:Cheers, Tino, though it is a new low having to suck up to you.

If anyone wants me I'll be sitting in a cupboard self-harming.

Don't self harm Galted, express yourself by the medium of EMO poetry. It will help.

Rowley wrote:Don't self harm Galted, express yourself by the medium of EMO poetry. It will help.

we can all help out with hyperbole ridden comments in support of your emo genius if it will help?

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:Cheers, Tino, though it is a new low having to suck up to you.

If anyone wants me I'll be sitting in a cupboard self-harming.

Don't self harm Galted, express yourself by the medium of EMO poetry. It will help.

I'm not sure I'm in the right frame of mind to write an EMO poem, Jeff, I've been crying so much since Tino was made a mod and not me that I can't focus on my spelling and grammar and worry that it might be correct.

If it helps I promise I will not pull you up on any errors. Obviously if it is something really stupid like getting they're and there wrong this does not apply, because even in your fragile state you would deserve it.

Ode to Galted and emos of the world

When you’re considering self-harming
I find it quite alarming
It really isn’t charming
To stick a knife into your arm-ing

Have positive emotions
And you might get big promotions
And go swimming in the oceans
With Lloyd Cole and the Commotions

I beseech you, try to smile
Don’t go on Jeremy Kyle
With your angst and all your bile
It’ll make us run a mile

Whereas if you’re nice and jolly
I’ll offer you my brolly
And won’t think you’re off your trolley
Is that the time? Oh golly.

Thanks, Julius, it's cheered me up a little bit.

I particularly like your usage of Lloyd Cole and Jeremy Kyle in the same poem, I don't think this has been done before (though the Lloyd Cole bit does open up a new wound with the Simone de Beauvoir reminder).

Galted wrote:Thanks, Julius, it's cheered me up a little bit.

I particularly like your usage of Lloyd Cole and Jeremy Kyle in the same poem, I don't think this has been done before (though the Lloyd Cole bit does open up a new wound with the Simone de Beauvoir reminder.

He could change it to 70's soul group the Emotions.

HOPELESSNESS

Sat still in the cupboard, a blade to my arm
Should I go for the kill, or merely self-harm?
Where once there was sunshine there's darkness and rain
Where once I knew laughter I'm poisoned with pain
I miss my mate, Tino (the arthropod fan)
Who claim he'd shagged Ryder (it was really my gran)
Once he was humble, a pleb just like us
He'd p1ss in a sink or, perhaps, crap on a bus
He'd ridicule michaels, shower Rowley with sh1t
Hold hands with a 'friend' playing KnightRider and Kitt
He's been taken from us, though, snatched far, far away
Though I'm sure he'll insist it's a way that's not gay
I've now realised for certain that there isn't a god
Cos that stalkerish w@nker's been promoted to mod

 

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:Thanks, Julius, it's cheered me up a little bit.

I particularly like your usage of Lloyd Cole and Jeremy Kyle in the same poem, I don't think this has been done before (though the Lloyd Cole bit does open up a new wound with the Simone de Beauvoir reminder.

He could change it to 70's soul group the Emotions.

You don't just mess around with Art.

Galted wrote:HOPELESSNESS

Sat still in the cupboard, a blade to my arm
Should I go for the kill, or merely self-harm?
Where once there was sunshine there's darkness and rain
Where once I knew laughter I'm poisoned with pain
I miss my mate, Tino (the arthropod fan)
Who claim he'd shagged Ryder (it was really my gran)
Once he was humble, a pleb just like us
He'd p1ss in a sink or, perhaps, crap on a bus
He'd ridicule michaels, shower Rowley with sh1t
Hold hands with a 'friend' playing KnightRider and Kitt
He's been taken from us, though, snatched far, far away
Though I'm sure he'll insist it's a way that's not gay
I've now realised for certain that there isn't a god
Cos that stalkerish w@nker's been promoted to mod

That is one of the most moving and funny things I have read on here.

I am so touched you remembered my Knightrider story. Why the need to put 'friend' in inverted commas though. There wasn't owt gay about it.