The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

by kingraf Thu 01 May 2014, 9:58 am

First topic message reminder :

You say tomato, I say Tamara Ecclestone (who michaels has almost certainly probably had a slice of)

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 11:54 am

I like Will Ferrel. Old School is brilliant.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:02 pm

Large chicken burrito from Wrap-It-Up

Taste 4/5 – wonderful, I haven't been this pleased with my senses since I discovered w@nking. The only, slight, criticism is that the very hot sauce was a bit gluey and so it was impossible to distribute evenly as I joyously munched my way through the burrito.
Health 4/5 – contained a form of bean as well as aubergine so must be fairly healthy. The very hot sauce would surely have killed off any germs.
Price 4/5 – not cheap at £6.45 but my loyalty card now has all the required stamps and the next one will be free. On top of that the friendly east European who prepared mine gave me a fully stamped loyalty card for a coffee (NEW!) which I shall certainly try next week (I also have a fully stamped Café Nero card so spending money on coffee won't be an encumbrance for me over the coming days). The rigorous pricing policy of Wrap-It-Up does help to keep the riff-raff out.
Onion factor 5/5 – no onion, thanks in total to my artfulness – as I request aubergines instead of salsa

Total: 4/5

The staff are aware of my preference so no conversation is necessary, merely a mutual nodding of heads. The charming and very little Italian girl popped in for a minute and I was pleased to note that the huge spot has now completely cleared up and I can again fantasize about licking and jizzing on her face while my burrito is being prepared. The supply of very hot sauce was quite limited today so I'm quite ecstatic that I got there early.
What michaels's missus would have said, "Je ne mange pas ça! Je suis certain qu'au moins un des employés n'est pas blanc."
What kingraf's phone would have said, "ya yaa what yabba turquoise uterus tinters 77 I always"

Edit – my upper lip is quite chapped and is now burning excruciatingly due to the very hot sauce. I tried using lip balm but that's only made it worse.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:05 pm

Lovely review.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:07 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Lovely review.

Thanks, michaels, your charming review of my review has made me forgive your Will Ferrell viewpoint.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:08 pm

Galted wrote:encumbrance

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:10 pm

As is Stepbrothers, Wedding Crashers

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:11 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:encumbrance

I only used the word to impress Tino. Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed that you'd like it - this is one of the very best days of my life.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:17 pm

The best day of my life was when I caught a fish whilst drinking 24 bottles of VB

by kingraf Thu 01 May 2014, 12:18 pm

outstanding Galted

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:21 pm

seanmichaels wrote:The best day of my life was when I caught a fish whilst drinking 24 bottles of VB

My previous best was probably the one when I saw someone from the bank get run over by a motorcyclist while I was having a fag. Happened a few feet in front of me and I burst out laughing almost immediately. The person who got hit looked like a right tw*t so there was no need to feel guilty.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:22 pm

Cheers, kingraf. I was going to do a bit of self-harming this afternoon but that won't be necessary now.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 01 May 2014, 12:32 pm

Galted wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:encumbrance

I only used the word to impress Tino. Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed that you'd like it - this is one of the very best days of my life.

Julius actually said one of my posts was funny yesterday. I haven't stopped shaking yet. I feel like I'm in a dream.

He normally trawls around insulting me but just a for second he let his guard down and I saw the kindly, benevolent Julius.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:34 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:encumbrance

I only used the word to impress Tino. Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed that you'd like it - this is one of the very best days of my life.

Julius actually said one of my posts was funny yesterday. I haven't stopped shaking yet. I feel like I'm in a dream.

He normally trawls around insulting me but just a for second he let his guard down and I saw the kindly, benevolent Julius.

He's probably chuffed at shooting a couple of ramblers before breakfast yesterday.

by kingraf Thu 01 May 2014, 12:39 pm

Julius reserves his anger at me for splitting the the thread with a post about tomatoes

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:49 pm

We're all angry at you for that, kingraf.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 01 May 2014, 12:51 pm

Galted wrote:We're all angry at you for that, kingraf.

Yes, the OP for this one is far better.

by Rowley Thu 01 May 2014, 12:51 pm

kingraf wrote:Julius reserves his anger at me for splitting the the thread with a post about tomatoes

Julius has the ability to delete posts. He can pretty much dictate where a thread splits, because despite my constant threats to the contrary I am too lazy to do likewise.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:52 pm

Galted wrote:We're all angry at you for that, kingraf.

More disappointed than angry.

The post in question being "You say tomato, I say tamatie"
I'm going to pretend that it was an attempt at speech to text, and what kr actually said was "Will Ferrell is a c*nt", but his phone messed it up.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:53 pm

Rowley wrote:
kingraf wrote:Julius reserves his anger at me for splitting the the thread with a post about tomatoes

Julius has the ability to delete posts. He can pretty much dictate where a thread splits, because despite my constant threats to the contrary I am too lazy to do likewise.

I can't delete posts in this section.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 01 May 2014, 12:54 pm

I have a fancy badge but can't do f*ck all with it.

by Rowley Thu 01 May 2014, 12:55 pm

Really? What about editing them? If not may change Raf's OP to something far more childish and insulting about you.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:55 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:We're all angry at you for that, kingraf.

More disappointed than angry.

The post in question being "You say tomato, I say tamatie"
I'm going to pretend that it was an attempt at speech to text, and what kr actually said was "Will Ferrell is a c*nt", but his phone messed it up.

I'm going to pretend that too, it's a much better way of starting off a thread.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 12:57 pm

Rowley wrote:Really? What about editing them? If not may change Raf's OP to something far more childish and insulting about you.

No I can't edit them either. You may change kr's OP to insult me, if you consider that a wise thing to do.

by Rowley Thu 01 May 2014, 1:00 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Rowley wrote:Really? What about editing them? If not may change Raf's OP to something far more childish and insulting about you.

No I can't edit them either. You may change kr's OP to insult me, if you consider that a wise thing to do.

Now I am conflicted, still want to do it as I am very childish, but don't want to incur your wrath, however should I not do I will look like a bit of a chicken. Very difficult this one.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:02 pm

Which board were/are you admin for Jules?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:03 pm

Rowley wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Rowley wrote:Really? What about editing them? If not may change Raf's OP to something far more childish and insulting about you.

No I can't edit them either. You may change kr's OP to insult me, if you consider that a wise thing to do.

Now I am conflicted, still want to do it as I am very childish, but don't want to incur your wrath, however should I not do I will look like a bit of a chicken. Very difficult this one.

The pressure is all on you now Jeff. All of it. I await your decision with cold interest.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:04 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Which board were/are you admin for Jules?

Tennis.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 01 May 2014, 1:05 pm

We already think you're a coward Jeff so don't let that particular conflict hold you back.

by Rowley Thu 01 May 2014, 1:11 pm

It would have been far easier if he had said nothing Tina. My shocking memory or inherent laziness would have all but ensured I would not have done it, if that didn’t happen my limited IT skills would have guaranteed I’d have made an arse of it. However should any of these things happen now people are going to believe Julius has scared me off. I am almost obliged to do it now, however that will mean Julius will spend pretty much his remaining days on here going out of his way to make me look foolish. When one considers he is wittier, brighter and sharper than me I struggle to imagine that will end well for me.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:13 pm

Rowley wrote: When one considers he is wittier, brighter and sharper than me I struggle to imagine that will end well for me.

Are you still going on about Winchester? He was banned ages ago.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:13 pm

Beef Madras with rice - Working in Bradford has its perks, and it was excellent...

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 01 May 2014, 1:15 pm

I shouldn't worry too much. I am also wittier, brighter and sharper than you but I still consider you a friend.

It may also deflect his p*ss taking from me to you which is an added bonus.

by **superflyweight** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:15 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Which board were/are you admin for Jules?

Tennis.

That's a tough gig - no wonder you spend so much time on the Culture Cup.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:17 pm

4 white rolls
squeezy jar of black pepper mayo
10 Slices Bavarian smoked cheese
5 slices Bavarian smoked Ham

result - 2 ham and chees rolls that were quite impressive indeed, particularly as I can replicate this meal tomorrow at a combined cost of less than £4

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:18 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I shouldn't worry too much. I am also wittier, brighter and sharper than you but soft as Shiite.

It may also deflects everyone's p*ss taking from you to me which is an added bonus.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 01 May 2014, 1:27 pm

Has has a point though.:

by **superflyweight** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:31 pm

That's a very rare instance of Salmond being spot on about something. Problem is, he wants to try to address it by preventing sale of cheap alcohol.

Know your constituency, Alex. Know your constituency.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:33 pm

Let's turn this thread into a fierce political debate so that Jeff has no choice but to lock it.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:37 pm

Galted wrote:Let's turn this thread into a fierce political debate so that Jeff has no choice but to lock it.

Did you know Barry McGuigan was British?

by Rowley Thu 01 May 2014, 1:39 pm

Galted wrote:Let's turn this thread into a fierce political debate so that Jeff has no choice but to lock it.

I'm not too worried Galted, political debate could be considered cultural, if history has taught us anything round here it is that nothing kills the culture cup quicker than a mention of anything cultural.

by **superflyweight** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:40 pm

We just need to entice Strongy over here and all hell will break loose:

Eddie Hearn is a lovely man and has boxing's best interests at heart. Discuss.

by **Union Cane** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:42 pm

Sesame seeded bap, containing (in no particular order) two slices of Bavarian smoked ham, sliced cucumber, ripped iceberg lettuce, four sizeable chunks of medium English Cheddar cheese, and a dollop of Branston pickle – Much better than yesterday’s “seasoned” nonsense, a proper satisfying man sandwich.

A bottle of chocolate coconut water – Weird. Just weird.

Some left over Mini-Eggs – Tasty, but received a couple of the injuries I alluded to in a previous post about Smarties.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:45 pm

Super wrote:We just need to entice Strongy over here and all hell will break loose:

Eddie Hearn is a lovely man and has boxing's best interests at heart. Discuss

Also the Klitchko's are great for boxing

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:46 pm

Union Cane wrote:a proper satisfying man sandwich.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:47 pm

You're not supposed to chew Mini-eggs (or Smarties)

by **superflyweight** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:48 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Union Cane wrote:a proper satisfying man sandwich.

That made me l*l out loud.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:50 pm

I also sprayed a bit of snot when I read it.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:52 pm

Galted wrote:I also sprayed a bit of snot when I read it.

by **Galted** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:57 pm

It was proper satisfying man snot.

by **Union Cane** Thu 01 May 2014, 1:58 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:You're not supposed to chew Mini-eggs (or Smarties)

Perhaps if you are a snake, but I am a person.

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