The "Make Your Own Limerick Up" Thread

[Kenny]

First topic message reminder :

First topic message reminder :

For those of you just itchin' to wax lyrical.....

Just copy and paste the first and/or consecutive lines, and add your next one. (five lines in total)

One only though!

Here was the last one...

The 80's TV was the sh!t
It was Hit after Hit
Keep out of the black
or say it with me .......CrackerJack !
You've missed out on the speed boat you twit!

[Guest]

I've rose from the ashes, I'm back!
Surely that's "risen", how slack
Schooling today is poor
And I'm drooling for more

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I've rose from the ashes, I'm back!
Surely that's "risen", how slack
Schooling today is poor
And I'm drooling for more
I only went to school to smoke crack

[Union Cane]

Have you done one of these using 'orange'?

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Have you done one of these using 'orange'?
Only whilst sucking on a lozenge

[Guest]

Have you done one of these using 'orange'?
Only whilst sucking on a lozenge
Mr Cane has us stumped

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Have you done one of these using 'orange'?
Only whilst sucking on a lozenge
Mr Cane has us stumped
His wife just told me I'm dumped

[Guest]

Have you done one of these using 'orange'?
Only whilst sucking on a lozenge
Mr Cane has us stumped
His wife just told me I'm dumped
Cos I puked after sniffing her minge!

[Union Cane]

I'm boiling with rage, I've gone purple

[Guest]

I'm boiling with rage, I've gone purple
Had to spit that last line like a furball

[JuliusHMarx]

I'm boiling with rage, I've gone purple
Had to spit that last line like a furball
I'm trembling with fury

[Guest]

I'm boiling with rage, I've gone purple
Had to spit that last line like a furball
I'm trembling with fury
I'm ending this story

[JuliusHMarx]

I'm boiling with rage, I've gone purple
Had to spit that last line like a furball
I'm trembling with fury
I'm ending this story
If an upchuck'll do, maybe a burp'll

[Union Cane]

 

Excellent wordplay from Marx

[Galted]

Excellent wordplay from Marx
he's one of the thread's brightest sparx

[Kenny]

Excellent wordplay from Marx
he's one of the thread's brightest sparx
for some wit you can always rely

[Union Cane]

Excellent wordplay from Marx
he's one of the thread's brightest sparx
for some wit you can always rely
(Kenny's grasp of the anapaestic meter seems to have gone awry)

[Galted]

Excellent wordplay from Marx
he's one of the thread's brightest sparx
for some wit you can always rely
(Kenny's grasp of the anapaestic meter seems to have gone awry)
and my rhyming is completely fcuked up

[JuliusHMarx]

Excellent wordplay from Marx
he's one of the thread's brightest sparx
for some wit you can always rely
(Kenny's grasp of the anapaestic meter seems to have gone awry)
True, so there's no point even rhyming this line

[JuliusHMarx]

Trust Galted to get in there first

[Union Cane]

Trust Galted to get in there first
I'll bet when you saw that you cursed

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Trust Galted to get in there first
I'll bet when you saw that you cursed
He had my wife before me

[Galted]

Trust Galted to get in there first
I'll bet when you saw that you cursed
He had my wife before me
didn't know that you saw me

[JuliusHMarx]

Trust Galted to get in there first
I'll bet when you saw that you cursed
He had my wife before me
didn't know that you saw me
It was a threesome with Damien Hurst

[Mind the windows Tino.]

 

I once danced the foxtrot with my granny

[Galted]

I once danced the foxtrot with my granny
as the boxsnot dripped out of her fanny

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I once danced the foxtrot with my granny
as the boxsnot dripped out of her fanny
She stood on my foot

[JuliusHMarx]

I once danced the foxtrot with my granny
as the boxsnot dripped out of her fanny
She stood on my foot
My toe went caput

[Galted]

I once danced the foxtrot with my granny
as the boxsnot dripped out of her fanny
She stood on my foot
My toe went caput
I went sprawling like Bale or Nani

[Union Cane]

The standard of prose is appalling

[Galted]

The standard of prose is appalling
the Union critique is quite galling

[Mind the windows Tino.]

The standard of prose is appalling
the Union critique is quite galling
He's been like it for years

[Galted]

The standard of prose is appalling
the Union critique is quite galling
He's been like it for years
looking down on his peers

[JuliusHMarx]

The standard of prose is appalling
the Union critique is quite galling
He's been like it for years
looking down on his peers
It's poetry, not prose - quit your bawling

[Mind the windows Tino.]

 

Julius has just smacked Cane's backside

[Galted]

Julius has just smacked Cane's backside
I'd be shocked though if Cane lets it slide

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Julius has just smacked Cane's backside
I'd be shocked though if Cane lets it slide
He normally pays for his pain

[Union Cane]

Julius has just smacked Cane's backside
I'd be shocked though if Cane lets it slide
He normally pays for his pain
Has a superior brain

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Julius has just smacked Cane's backside
I'd be shocked though if Cane lets it slide
He normally pays for his pain
Has a superior brain
Only to a big fat gypsy bride

[Union Cane]

There was a young man from Leeds

[Mind the windows Tino.]

There was a young man from Leeds
Who delighted in sowing his seeds

[Galted]

There was a young man from Leeds
Who delighted in sowing his seeds
until a lady from Wike

[Mind the windows Tino.]

There was a young man from Leeds
Who delighted in sowing his seeds
until a lady from Wike
Was impaled on his spike

[Union Cane]

There was a young man from Leeds
Who delighted in sowing his seeds
until a lady from Wike
Was impaled on his spike
They were humping at different speeds

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I am always searching for perfection

[Union Cane]

I am always searching for perfection
Whilst trying to ignore the infection

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I am always searching for perfection
Whilst trying to ignore the infection
It's spread right up my leg

[Union Cane]

I am always searching for perfection
Whilst trying to ignore the infection
It's spread right up my leg
And looks like a Scotch Egg

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I am always searching for perfection
Whilst trying to ignore the infection
It's spread right up my leg
And looks like a Scotch Egg
I'm struggling to maintain my erection

[Union Cane]

These limericks are mostly quite rude

[Mind the windows Tino.]

These limericks are mostly quite rude
Well the participants are pretty crude

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