Random Thoughts.....

This week’s ‘Random Thoughts’ is brought to you in association with the 1000th episode of RAW. Apparently it’s coming up soon. Nah I haven’t heard anything about it either. You’d think WWE would make a bit of a bigger deal out of it.


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The main event of this week’s RAW was a TAG MATCH PLAYA! – as if it could be anything else with (Buckle Up) Teddy Long in charge. We saw CM Punk & John Cena take on Daniel Bryan Danielson & Chris Jericho in a match where ABSOLUTELY NOTHING was at stake.

The finish came when AJ - who’s fast heading for John Laurinaitis-style overkill territory - skipped out and after being ignored by Punk and Bryan, decided to end it all by throwing herself off the top turnbuckle to her doom through a table at ringside. DBD was the first to react, positioning himself in front of the table and begging AJ not to hurl herself through it. Punk went one better and climbed the turnbuckle with AJ to try and convince her to come down. AJ thought about his request, snogged the WWE champion then pushed him off the turnbuckle. Punk fell approximately 75 feet onto Bryan and they both went through the table. AJ was left standing tall, giving it a bit of “YES!”

What can all this mean, what with AJ being the last woman standing at the end of the show? I’m not ENTIRELY sure but I think it could signify that AJ’s winning the title at the pay per view. I could be off with that one.

But I reckon I’m not.


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Prior to the main-event we had two contrasting backstage segments. Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan Danielson had a clash of the catchphrases that was friggin’ hilarious (as was Y2J’s completely over the top reaction when John Cena’s music hit later on in the evening).

As for CM Punk and John Cena, can somebody please explain to me what the point of their interaction was? Was Punk deliberately made to sound like a massive douche with his “Listen to me out there” line?

Wait a sec, it was John Cena he was talking with so yeah, he probably was made to look like a giant bumhole on purpose.


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Brock Lesnar responded to Triple H’s challenge for a match at Summerslam via Paul Heyman via satellite via tape. Heyman told us that Lesnar would go face to face with ‘The Game-uhh’ on the 1000th episode of RAW and give him an answer. He also said Triple H wants to face Lesnar because he needs Brock to ‘end it all’ i.e. HHH’s career. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that the exact same thing Triple H said about the Undertaker prior to Wrestlemania 28? Nah, can’t be.

Anyhoo, I hate these ‘tune in next week’ type deals. I understand why they do them – in hopes of gaining more viewers – but they don’t seem to make any difference.

And imagine if the real world operated under ‘tune in next week’ rules?

“So Mr. Shalackalacky, we got your results back from the lab”.

“Give it to me straight Doc, do I have the AIDS?”

“I’ll tell you................next week”.

“...........What?”

“Come back next week to find out your results”.

“We’re both here right now though!”

“Next week”.

“But you’ve got the test results right there in your hand!”

“I SAID NEXT WEEK DAMN YOU!”


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Alberto Del Rio has been named the Number 1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship at Money in the Bank by the WWE Board of Directors. (Buckle Up) Teddy Long decided to teach Alberto a lesson by putting him in a match on RAW, but not revealing who it was.

Del Rio trotted out to the ring and awaited his opponent, who turned out to be Sin Cara. Alberto proceeded to pound the tar out of Cara before the match even started.

Way to go Teddy, you sure showed that nasty Alberto Del Rio. Next time stick to making TAG MATCHES PLAYA!


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Tyson Kidd scored an upset win over Tensai on RAW this week. I’m assuming this was done in a bid to make him seem more of a threat in the WHC MITB on PPV, trying to give the match an ‘anyone can win’ vibe.

Even though we all know Tyson’s in the match solely for some ladder based flippys and because the bigger guys need a little guy to throw off a ladder through a table / 2 tables / 4 tables / 19 tables.


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Heath Slater continued his run against returning legends, pulling off the upset win over Doink. Diamond Dallas Page then made an appearance after the match to hit Julianne Moore with an RKO.......sorry a Diamond Cutter.

2 questions: Why couldn’t DDP wrestle a short match against Slater?

And which one out of Doink and DDP was the ‘returning legend’?


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Smackdown kicked off with AJ taking on the WWE Diva’s champion Layla. The champ picked up the win after Daniel Bryan Danielson distracted AJ by coming to ringside chanting something. I couldn’t make out what he was saying.

Vickie Guerrero then came out to announce that the WWE Universe (shudder) had voted on AJ’s involvement in the WWE title match at Money in the Bank. A resounding 76% decided that she should be the guest referee. AJ looked extremely satisfied at this result, whilst DBD was none too pleased. AJ walked off shouting - well it was more like muttering - “YES!” and Danielson was left in the ring shouting “NO!”

All this YES-ing and NO-ing can mean only one thing: Ed Leslie is making his return as The Zodiac.

YES!


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Shamoose successfully defended his World Heavyweight championship in a triple threat match with Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio. I’m feeling a bit sorry for the champ because he just seems to be ‘there’, he’ll cut a promo every now and again, have a match but there’s nothing for him to really sink his teeth into. And no, that wasn’t a ‘Great White’ pun. Although maybe it should have been.

Nevertheless, I’ve come up with an idea for Shamoose that will once again give him focus; he should be repackaged as a modern day ‘Honky Tonk Man’. Admit it, you’d MTFO if you saw Shamoose come out in an Elvis jumpsuit, with huge sideburns and a guitar slung across his back. He could sing his entrance theme too:

“Oi’ve got long sideburns and moi hair slicked back, Oi’m comin’ to yer town in me pink Cadillac. Oi’m just a Honky Tonk Fella (he’s just a Honky Tonk Fella), Oi’m just a Honky Tonk Fella (He’s just a Honky Tonk Fella) Oi'm just a Honky Tonk Fella, Oi'm cool, Oi'm cocky, Oi'm bad!”.

It’s got win written all over it.

In capital freakin’ letters.


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Ryback continued his winning streak by defeating ? and ?. By my calculations this means he’s now 64-0. I don’t mind Ryberg beating up jobbers, but we could do with a higher calibre of jobber. Nobody’s going to take Goldback seriously until then.

The solution?

WWE should rehire Matt and Jeff Hardy and dress them up in their old plaid tights / headbands. They were the best jobbers EVER!


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John Cena marked his 10th year in the WWE last week. I know what you’re thinking:

It feels like A LOT longer.


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Bobby Roode and Austin Aries had another verbal confrontation on (Jefferson) Impact which looked as if it would result in a physical altercation until Bobby bailed like Ric Flair running away from his wife.

In the midst of it all, Roode once again claimed that he was the REAL World champion. Am I missing something here? When did Austin Aries ever say he was World champion? Has he ever argued Roode’s point? Seems to me that Bobby’s going into business for himself and rehashing old angles just for his own amusement.

Can’t wait for the one when he reveals himself to be the Higher Power:

“IT WAS ME AUSTIN (ARIES)! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG AUSTIN (ARIES)!”


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Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the (Jefferson) Impact Zone, the most ridiculous angle of the year – or any other year – is back and it’s more nonsensical than ever!

After unveiling their latest weapon in the fight against WWE – the 10th Wonder of the World Claire Lynch – it appeared as if the whole AJ / Dixie / Kazaniels storyline had finally come to a conclusion. An unsatisfactory conclusion right enough, but a conclusion nonetheless. It was over and we could all move on and start trying to forget about the whole abomination.

Alas and alack, it was not to be. Instead we got a MONUMENTAL swerve turn involving Kazarian that no-one saw coming. Then we got sucked back into Russo territory when Christopher Daniels revealed that the father of Claire Lynch’s baby was none other than JOHN CENA! Wait I got that wrong I think. Yeah it wasn’t John Cena. Imagine that – a chick in wrestling that Cena HASN’T banged! She has only been around for 2 weeks though so give him time.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the revelation that ‘The Dirtiest Crack Ho in the Game’ Claire Lynch’s baby daddy is in fact AJ STYLES! I was as stunned as you were when I heard the news. What happens now? Fear not 606v2ers, I have the inside scoop on the whole thing and can exclusively reveal how the angle concludes:

Claire Lynch will give birth to.........


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A hand wearing one of AJ’s gloves.

The TNAttitude Era is upon us!


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The Gut Check segment took place with the lovely Taeler Hendrix looking to gain a lovely TNA contract from the lovely Al Snow, the lovely Bruce Pritchard and Taz. The whole shindig was interrupted by Joey Ryan who dared Taz to take a swing at him. Al Snow made the save and directed Taz back into the ring whilst whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Joey was escorted from the ringside area by security.

So it appears as if Ryan is headed for a feud with a fat commentator. Wonderful. If they wanted to go down that route then they should have rehired Don West because it would be infinitely more entertaining.

I mean right now Taz is more ‘Human Super-Size Me Machine’ than ‘Human Suplex Machine’.


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So TNA reckon that the X-Division means something once again thanks to Austin Aries’ run with the belt and the announcement that in future all reigning X-Division champions will get the chance to forfeit the title for a World Heavyweight championship shot at future Destination X pay per views.

Why then are they putting a bunch of unknown guys into the tournament to crown a new X-Division champion?

“Yeah! The X-Division is prestigious again! It’s like the glory days of AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels!”

“So who’s that guy in the X-Division title tournament?”

“F__ked if I know”.


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Angelina Love has been granted her release from TNA.

I guess that now Claire Lynch has stolen her gimmick there’s nothing else for Angelina to do in (Jefferson) Impact Wrestling.


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The word is that the ‘Sting being attacked by 3 mystery men’ angle was simply a way to get ‘The Icon’ off television. There are no plans currently in place to reveal who this deadly trio are. At least that’s what they’re telling us.

Given TNA’s track record in such matters, I reckon the 3 men were going to be the NAITCHA BWAAAAH! Ric Flair, Matt Morgan and Alex Shelley.


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Speaking of Ric Flair, he was attacked by his wife and had to call the police on her. Apparently this isn’t the first time the ‘Dirtiest Player in the Game’ has been assaulted by his wife. He’s also been busted wide open by his youngest daughter in the past. So much for ‘protecting the business’ Ric!

I can just imagine how this latest encounter went down;

An argument erupts.

Flair does his strut then WOOOO’s.

Mrs. Flair throws a vase at Flair.

The vase misses its intended target. Flair - oblivious to it all - elbow drops his cream sports jacket.

Mrs. Flair gets annoyed and swings for Flair.

Flair retaliates with a reverse knife edge chop and a WOOOO!

Flair gets punched square on the nose, causing a river of blood to flow from his nasal cavity.

Flair notices he’s bleeding and searches furiously for the blade.

The NAITCHA BWAAAAH! eventually realises that he didn’t blade himself, and is now somewhat scared for his well-being.

In a desperation move, Flair goes for the Figure Four.

Mrs. Flair counters by standing up.

Recognising that the final move in his repertoire – taking a back body drop – probably won’t have any effect on his missus, Flair calls the cops, then WOOOO’s.

Mrs. Flair is escorted from the premises in handcuffs by the police.

Ric Flair is escorted from the premises in a wheelchair, at his own request, WOOOOing all the way.

Ric Flair will NEVER RETAAAAH!

Or win a fight with a woman.


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"The TNAttitude Era is upon us!"

My colleagues are wondering why I laughed loudly!

Genius once again sir!

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:

Angelina Love has been granted her release from TNA.

I guess that now Claire Lynch has stolen her gimmick there’s nothing else for Angelina to do in (Jefferson) Impact Wrestling.

I seriously just uttered a "YES!" when I saw that random thoughts was up, prompting a look from my colleagues, which was nothing compared to the looks I've got with all this laughing!

Speaking of Ric Flair, he was attacked by his wife and had to call the police on her. Apparently this isn’t the first time the ‘Dirtiest Player in the Game’ has been assaulted by his wife. He’s also been busted wide open by his youngest daughter in the past. So much for ‘protecting the business’ Ric!

I can just imagine how this latest encounter went down;

An argument erupts.

Flair does his strut then WOOOO’s.

Mrs. Flair throws a vase at Flair.

The vase misses its intended target. Flair - oblivious to it all - elbow drops his cream sports jacket.

Mrs. Flair gets annoyed and swings for Flair.

Flair retaliates with a reverse knife edge chop and a WOOOO!

Flair gets punched square on the nose, causing a river of blood to flow from his nasal cavity.

Flair notices he’s bleeding and searches furiously for the blade.

The NAITCHA BWAAAAH! eventually realises that he didn’t blade himself, and is now somewhat scared for his well-being.

In a desperation move, Flair goes for the Figure Four.

Mrs. Flair counters by standing up.

Recognising that the final move in his repertoire – taking a back body drop – probably won’t have any effect on his missus, Flair calls the cops, then WOOOO’s.

Mrs. Flair is escorted from the premises in handcuffs by the police.

Ric Flair is escorted from the premises in a wheelchair, at his own request, WOOOOing all the way.

Ric Flair will NEVER RETAAAAH!

Or win a fight with a woman.

I know we shouldnt make fun of domestic violence but i was in fits with this one lol

MetalMotty wrote:

Speaking of Ric Flair, he was attacked by his wife and had to call the police on her. Apparently this isn’t the first time the ‘Dirtiest Player in the Game’ has been assaulted by his wife. He’s also been busted wide open by his youngest daughter in the past. So much for ‘protecting the business’ Ric!

I can just imagine how this latest encounter went down;

An argument erupts.

Flair does his strut then WOOOO’s.

Mrs. Flair throws a vase at Flair.

The vase misses its intended target. Flair - oblivious to it all - elbow drops his cream sports jacket.

Mrs. Flair gets annoyed and swings for Flair.

Flair retaliates with a reverse knife edge chop and a WOOOO!

Flair gets punched square on the nose, causing a river of blood to flow from his nasal cavity.

Flair notices he’s bleeding and searches furiously for the blade.

The NAITCHA BWAAAAH! eventually realises that he didn’t blade himself, and is now somewhat scared for his well-being.

In a desperation move, Flair goes for the Figure Four.

Mrs. Flair counters by standing up.

Recognising that the final move in his repertoire – taking a back body drop – probably won’t have any effect on his missus, Flair calls the cops, then WOOOO’s.

Mrs. Flair is escorted from the premises in handcuffs by the police.

Ric Flair is escorted from the premises in a wheelchair, at his own request, WOOOOing all the way.

Ric Flair will NEVER RETAAAAH!

Or win a fight with a woman.

I know we shouldnt make fun of domestic violence but i was in fits with this one lol

Ditto!

I havent been able to get on the boards as much as I used to due to changes at work but posts like this are well worth the odd occasion I do manage to have a read.

"Elbow dropping his cream sports jacket" love it!