Fast Forward Raw Round UP - FFRRRUP

I have literally received dozens and dozens of PMs asking me to return with my fast forward Raw. And by dozens and dozens, I mean 1.

So here it is - the FFRRRUP (Fast Forward Raw Review Round UP) - sounds like a word a rapping wrestler would use.....FFFFRRRRUUUUPPPPPP booooyyyyyyyy!

ANyway, this week, I am doing it from memory, as I watched it very quickly.

First up was Punk. Came to the ring with his pipe bomb and belt. Cut a great promo and once again had a go at the buzz words/ insider comments. Mentions he always wanted to be a "pro wrestler" not "sports entertainer" and that is what he is. He also makes a gag about Teen Wolf. Twice. As usual, it went over the 5 year olds heads but I laughed at it.

What a movie Teen Wolf was. Who wouldnt love a film about a teenage werewolf who plays basketball and surfs on vans? Even enjoyed Teen Wolf Too with Jason Bateman. And that isnt a typo.

Anyway, Punk talks about being an Agent of Change - in fact he used the term so much, I am guessing thats the next Tshirt. He is going to make Raw exciting again. And bring back the WWE ice cream bars.

John L comes out. He really has a great heel voice. Its so boring, it draws heat. Bit of back and forth between them. Makes an Office Space joke that once again goes over 90% of the peoples heads. Punk owns him. JL announces rematch next weeks RAW and that tonight its champ v champ (Punk vs Ziggler).

Segment finishes with Punk saying he will beat Ziggle and ADR. And someone is going to beat some sense into JL. Good way to start.

Lots of promos about Rock at SS.

Cant remember whats next. Possibly Ryder vs ADR. Ryder loses via armbar where he taps straight away. Making ADR look Strong. Making Ryder look like a goon again. Are they really going to put the belt on him?

Might have been a big show promo next - fast forwarded through it. Then again, it might have been later. Who knows?

At about the 40 minute mark into the show, the WWE champion takes on the US champion. Thats right, at third of the way through, the two champs are fighting. Its all about Punk and Ziggler obviously. Very good match - so good, I only watched at x6 speed instead of my usual x30. Well done guys. Punk wins after nearly botching the ending. Ziggler handles himself well.

Actually that reminds me, it wasnt Big Show, it was a Vickie and Ziggler promo that was before the match. So that must mean its the Big show next. Or maybe not. Might have been Nash who came out next. Big Show was in there somewhere, I think.

If it was Nash, he came out and said.....Main event....should have been him and HHH against Cena/ Rock....sledge hammer....broken back......just for men 2000.......you'll have to forgive me, its hard to read lips at x12 speed.

Next match was possibly Cody vs Santino. Cody wins easily with the Cross Rhodes on Santino after blocking the cobra. Rhodes push continues....but then comes undone as it looks like he is going to feud with Booker T after a post match altercation. Way to push the talent - have them fight a commentator.

Up next a diva segment involving that game we keep seeing adverts for on this site. The divas are playing it backstage or something. The acting is as wooden as the Jimm duggans 4x4.

Barrett vs Kofi - long match with Wade winning via wasteland. Something looks different about wade but cant place it.

Maybe the Big show was next. He was definitely on this show somewhere.

Up next the Swagster vs ginger Ninja Sheamus. Looked like another good tought brawl. Brogue Kick. Thats that one done. Clean win for the man with no surname. But its most probably O'flaherty.

And thats the end of the show.

Of course its not, we havent had a whole half dedicated to Cena yet. Now I like Cena. I genuinely do - I think he does great promos. But this one was woeful - no passion, no anger, nada. Zilch. Lame......

Talks about respect and how Rock and him coexisted. Rock Rock Bottomed him and got the final word.

Really? Really?

At last, someone to break up Cena who is getting booed all the way through his promo.

Awesome Truth do a great job as always. Particularly likes Miz's "You say people "cant See You" - well last night, they didnt want to see you". Also love R Truths "dont you what me!".

Cena rips them apart (still very lacklustre) and with two lines, splits the best tag team up. Yes folks, a couple of lines from Cena leads to Awesome Truth fighting. He claims they are jealous of each other and leaves. Cue shouting in each others face, a slap by Rtruth which knocks down Miz. They make up but as they leave the ring,Miz mic checks Rthruth on the ramp. And thats it folks.

How easy is it to split up a solid team? A few words is all it takes apparetly.

YI - you riding my coat tails, byatch. Hero - your mama is so poor that she was caught walking the freeway with one shoe. When they asked her if she had lost a shoe, she replied "no, I found one".

Thats all from this edition of FFRRRUP.

There was defo a Big Show promo in there somewhere - maybe it was the dark match.

Bring back lionsblood.

Truth is getting wellnessed after the weekend reports of his part in Evan Bournes suspension.

You also missed the 2 video promos. One apparently for Kane that ended with his mask on fire and another called 'itbegins' which could either be Kane, 'Taker, Jericho or given the involvement of a child and the line 'returning for what is mine' Vince may have decided to really tap into the reality era and we're getting a new Child Catcher character. So expect Pee Wee Herman or Gary Glitter to be WHC some time next year!

King Beer wrote:Truth is getting wellnessed after the weekend reports of his part in Evan Bournes suspension.

You also missed the 2 video promos. One apparently for Kane that ended with his mask on fire and another called 'itbegins' which could either be Kane, 'Taker, Jericho or given the involvement of a child and the line 'returning for what is mine' Vince may have decided to really tap into the reality era and we're getting a new Child Catcher character. So expect Pee Wee Herman or Gary Glitter to be WHC some time next year!

As you have read another report, can you tell me if Big Show was on there or not?

A child Catcher character would be cool. He could have "you're ignorant" as his catchphrase. Give him a large net on a stick to carry around. It has win written all over it.

ADR should promo how all punk does is repeat himself, make empty promises and alienate half the audience.

But only 1 star gets unprecedented liberties on the mic.

Big Show was indeed on the show. Cut a promo about waiting on Mark Henry.

Adam D (Hobo) wrote:

King Beer wrote:Truth is getting wellnessed after the weekend reports of his part in Evan Bournes suspension.

You also missed the 2 video promos. One apparently for Kane that ended with his mask on fire and another called 'itbegins' which could either be Kane, 'Taker, Jericho or given the involvement of a child and the line 'returning for what is mine' Vince may have decided to really tap into the reality era and we're getting a new Child Catcher character. So expect Pee Wee Herman or Gary Glitter to be WHC some time next year!

As you have read another report, can you tell me if Big Show was on there or not?

A child Catcher character would be cool. He could have "you're ignorant" as his catchphrase. Give him a large net on a stick to carry around. It has win written all over it.

I can't confirm mate I'm afraid. I did see the words 'big' and 'show' together but it could've been in a literal sense.

The "it begins" video.

https://www.youtube.com/user/itbegins2012

goto be Taker.

the boy is dressed like Vince McMahon.

So my guess is.......the boogeyman.

I reckon its shane or Vince

Just remembered, there was a Wade Barrett match too against Kofi Kingston!

Barrett won with the wastelands.

I will edit this into the OP!

Don't think it's Taker.

'Take back what's mine'

Jericho wanting his best in the world tag, Punk v Jericho at Mania.

I personally think the "itbegins" video has a real feeling of "The Omen" (2006) about it.

'Take back what's mine'

Jeff Hardy - coming back to reclaim his tag as Mr Wellnessed from Sin Cara.

Something that may be a clue to the "it begins" thing, does anyone else click the link and it says 310 views?

It said that earlier, and even when I refresh it stays at 310.

The profile also says "Age: 43"

The top comment on the video argues a good case:

[Y]outube

[2]nd Day

[J]anuary

Ent wrote:ADR should promo how all punk does is repeat himself, make empty promises and alienate half the audience.

But only 1 star gets unprecedented liberties on the mic.

Could not agree more with that, well said

Credit to R Truth for his part in the promo when he started rhyming. Hilarious stuff

Dont you What me now.

itbegins could be Jerchio


Year 2012
2nd
January

Also, the third button onthe kids sleeve says J