It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

He is
much vaunted
and so old his b*mhole is haunted
Julius
Julius

Bollox - missed it!

Didn't want michaels to come in with a anecdote that no one believed and ruin it.

What about that poor baastard getting collected by a bus? Can't believe he survived.
Then he just saunters into the pub (at 09:20) as if nothing's happened.  
His arse must be so sore.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/27/man-hit-bus-crosses-road-dusting-walking-pub/

What a lad.

Something doesn't add up in that story.

He supposedly has a wife, yet he's been a regular for 20 years in a bar called "The Purple Turtle".

Maybe he has a 'wife'.

Yeah supes, don't you impose a gender on a stranger. Could be any one of numerous types that they identify with in this day and age.

Heey yooou guuuyysss.

Morning all.

Morning all.

One less dumb-ass in the world today
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40438207

I was only just reading about this.

Another Darwin Award winner.

That's so foolish. Everyone except for Shah knows that only the Bible can stop a bullet fired at near point-blank range.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-RoQ9AXERw

I'm parent facing for the next couple of days, so will be AFK.

Have fun.

Actively Frisking Kenyans?

Enjoy your time away from said keyboard.

A F**king Knob?

Awkwardly Falling Kelp

Parent facing? Does that mean he's in trouble at home?

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Parent facing? Does that mean he's in trouble at home?

He'll probably be grounded for using the term 'client facing' on this thread.
How his parents found out about this online social misdemeanor... we'll never know. Someone must have leaked it.
Hence the parent's trip down to repair the damage and deliver a suitable punishment.

Ardently Fondling Kids

Paedophilic on here yesterday.

Gutentag Notcherinos

Yep, that wasn't a great way to michaels a thread.

Especially if you only copy part of the post

Galted Yesterday at 13:14

+
----
-
Ardently Fondling Kids

Ardent not civic.

Good morning mouseholes.

That bloody half chihuahua half miniature german shephard mongrel is barking in the distance...

When you meet it... it is so subservient. Hard to believe it is the same dog.

I once shot a dog between the eyes from 60 metres away. In Pakistan all the dogs are usually wild or feral and it was charging towards a group of kids. Lucky shot I know but I got treated to a free meal at the school for it. Food was excellent if a bit dry.

Morning gays.

I bet you managed to wing a couple of kids as well before you finally got the fatal shot away.

seanmichaels wrote:Morning gays.

If that were any other poster I'd say that was deliberate.

All good in the rose garden sean?

I once shot a cow in the arse with an air rifle. Got the mother of all beatings for it

Yes very good thank you Jules. Yourself? All set for Wimbledon?

seanmichaels wrote:I once shot a cow in the arse with an air rifle. Got the mother of all beatings for it

The oldest brother of our neighbours once shot a tiny wee bird with an air rifle. None of us (including his own brothers) liked the guy very much.
When we got to the finch? it had no outward signs of a pellet... just some blood coming from its arse. Still haunts me. What a coward!

seanmichaels wrote:Yes very good thank you Jules. Yourself? All set for Wimbledon?

I'll be on holiday in the US for most of it, but will hopefully keep an eye on the results via t'internet.

I have retired from mens match tennis as of yesterday and will now only being playing mixed matches and social tennis.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Yes very good thank you Jules. Yourself? All set for Wimbledon?

I'll be on holiday in the US for most of it, but will hopefully keep an eye on the results via t'internet.

I have retired from mens match tennis as of yesterday and will now only being playing mixed matches and social tennis.

This would suggest that you're going to the states for a sex change.

I support you as I'm not prejudiced in any way.

Thanks Galted.

Julia
x

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Yes very good thank you Jules. Yourself? All set for Wimbledon?

I'll be on holiday in the US for most of it, but will hopefully keep an eye on the results via t'internet.

I have retired from mens match tennis as of yesterday and will now only being playing mixed matches and social tennis.

This would suggest that you're going to the states for a sex change.

I support you as I'm not prejudiced in any way.

He's playing senior mixed doubles with Ekaterina Bychkova on an outside court at Flushing Meadows beforehand though.

Cheese toasties with 5 counties cheese....12/10

Oh baby

Gutentag Notches.

I see my five counties cheese post has caused many heart attacks. Either that or people had better things to do on a Friday afternoon.

Yīqiè ān hǎo?

Labas Shah.

What has been going down in my absence?

Cheese toasties on my part, pirogi while blindfolded for Galted and no idea about anyone else. How was the disciplinary and did your mother try to stuff you full of cabbage? Did you confront her about the ice cream van lie? Did she try to tidy up your room and berate you after discovering the w*nkstains on the ceiling?

It was my dad, and we went to the horse racing, masturbatory anecdotes were not discussed.

All good it was nice to catch up with the old man.

Like the idea of 5 counties cheese toastie.

I had run out of Worcestershire sauce or else I would have put that in also. You can get it from The Tesco, for about 2 quid.

They have a localised variety of Worcester sauce in Yorkshire called Henderson's Relish.

It is a must for cheese/beans on toast.

I shall find it and report back. Your life depends on it.

Good morning gentlemen.

I got 120% enjoyment reading about your 12/10 lunch, Shah.

ShahenshahG wrote:I shall find it and report back. Your life depends on it.

...he said, with much relish.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:I shall find it and report back. Your life depends on it.

...he said, with much relish.

A Gentleman's Relish

https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/272718906593?chn=ps&dispItem=1&adgroupid=45192390362&rlsatarget=pla-331477170692&abcId=1129006&adtype=pla&merchantid=7410034&poi=&googleloc=9046320&device=c&campaignid=861899495&crdt=0

Morning, Jules.

Morning all. Got nagged by the missus all through Saturday and into Sunday morning to go with her to IKEA. Didn't fancy it as my neck was so sore I could barely move but she finally wore me down at about 2.30. We got home at about 6.30 and all she'd bought was an oven glove and a jar of pickles.
Thanks for listening.

Also LOL out loud Jules, seeing as you're getting needy in your even older age. How was your weekend you old f*rt? Thanks Rick but I have been banned from online shopping for the near future.

Spent too long at a tennis match (drinks and a cake after the match) and then got shouted at by the missus for being lazy around the house. Good apart from that.