Films that fail trade descriptions

by **Hero** Thu Sep 17, 2015 11:55 am

Due to Hammersmith's disappointment with the film American Sniper because he wasn't sniperrish enough (snipperish isn't a word but go with it) I thought a thread in which other films fail to deliver on what the title is and perhaps a more accurate title could be? Or what strap lines could be used if the film was actually about it's title?

Jaws: The greatest mandible bone reconstructive surgery story ever told
Gone with the Wind: A family's struggle to deal with the loss of their home due to a hurricane
Silence of the Lambs: A mute sheep's brave journey to regain its voice

by lfc91 Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:01 pm

Apocalpse Now: Based on the name should be a much MUCH shorter film with only 1 event...

by bluestonevedder Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:19 pm

King Kong.

He wore no crown.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:25 pm

To Kill a Mockingbird.

No f*cking mockingbird anywhere.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:25 pm

lfc91 wrote:Apocalpse Now: Based on the name should be a much MUCH shorter film with only 1 event...

l*l

by Guest Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:26 pm

SKYFALL...it didn't

by incontinentia Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:27 pm

Gone with the Wind could also be a tale of one man's struggle against faecal incontinence

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:27 pm

Free Willy.

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:29 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Free Willy.

Sean can happily lend you a version that fits the title perfectly.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:30 pm

I'll line em up.

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:31 pm

Would have been a shame to leave that one hanging.

by Adam D Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:31 pm

Howards End

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:33 pm

One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.

Where was the nest? Or the cuckoo?

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:34 pm

Adam D wrote:Howards End

Sean can happily lend you a film that very much fits the bill.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:34 pm

From Here to Eternity.

Why did it end?

by **Hero** Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:42 pm

On a similar note then...

Never Ending Story.

It did.

by TRUSSMAN66 Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:45 pm

Cat on a hot tin roof...........About a Cat with blisters on its feet.

by **superflyweight** Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Beethoven - went along expecting a triumphant biopic of one of the greatest geniuses that mankind has ever produced. It turned out to be a soppy film about a big dog.

by **Hero** Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:48 pm

About a Boy

Good attempt but also had a bloke in it too.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:49 pm

superflyweight wrote:Beethoven - went along expecting a triumphant biopic of one of the greatest geniuses that mankind has ever produced. It turned out to be a soppy film about a big dug.

Disappointing.

by Guest Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:49 pm

SNATCH - disappointing on a number of levels

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:51 pm

DAVE667 wrote:SNATCH - disappointing on a number of levels

Sean can't lend you a film which very much fits the bill.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:52 pm

Rowley wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:SNATCH - disappointing on a number of levels

Sean can't lend you a film which very much fits the bill.

That's probably the final time, Jeff.

Wearing a bit thin now.

by TRUSSMAN66 Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:52 pm

Fifty shades of grey....Thought I was going to a hairdressing seminar..

by **superflyweight** Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:54 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Beethoven - went along expecting a triumphant biopic of one of the greatest geniuses that mankind has ever produced. It turned out to be a soppy film about a big dug.

Disappointing.

Deliberate Scottish spelling - ask your dad.

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:54 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:SNATCH - disappointing on a number of levels

Sean can't lend you a film which very much fits the bill.

That's probably the final time, Jeff.

Wearing a bit thin now.

Intended to stop now Tina, thought the reversal of not being able to lend a film finished things off nicely.

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:56 pm

Die Hard disappointed necrophiliacs everywhere.

I don't think that pie ever showed itself again after the first American Pie.

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:57 pm

Gone in 60 seconds, another film that lasted way longer than billed.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:57 pm

superflyweight wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Beethoven - went along expecting a triumphant biopic of one of the greatest geniuses that mankind has ever produced. It turned out to be a soppy film about a big dug.

Disappointing.

Deliberate Scottish spelling - ask your dad.

I've sent him a text. I'll let you know what he says.

by incontinentia Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:02 pm

"90 minute movie"... oh wait

by **Hero** Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:02 pm

The Green Mile.

Not green.
Not a mile.

by lfc91 Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:04 pm

The flying scotsman: Just some guy on a bike, no flight involved.

by incontinentia Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:17 pm

Porno movie film titles generally pass the trade description

by lfc91 Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:27 pm

Rush: Was expecting a biopic of the life of one of the greatest strikers in Liverpool history….turned out to be about F1! Devastated…

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:29 pm

lfc91 wrote:Rush: Was expecting a biopic of the life of one of the greatest strikers in Liverpool history….turned out to be about F1! Devastated…

I could tell you a great anecdote about Ian Rush. Might have told it a few times though, so best not.

by lfc91 Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:34 pm

Go for it. Need something to pass the time in work...

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:37 pm

lfc91 wrote:Go for it. Need something to pass the time in work...

He came to address the school at one of our assemblies when I was a kid. Late ‘80s. Had a moustache and told us all to listen carefully and work hard at school.

Then he drove off in a Capri.

All the kids at school who didn’t know their real fathers all of a sudden found out who they were. Never seen so many dads at school drop off.

Told you it was a beauty.

by incontinentia Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:54 pm

[quote="Mind the windows Tino."]

lfc91 wrote:Had a moustache...

Your story checks out

by **seanmichaels** Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:56 pm

michaelsed.

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:57 pm

You'd have struggled to do it much better Sean.

by Stella Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:10 pm

Jaws

Disappointed to not see the baddie from the Bond films!

by **seanmichaels** Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:11 pm

Interstellar. He wasn't.

by Adam D Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:14 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Interstellar. He wasn't.

did he prefer Heineken?

by **seanmichaels** Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:17 pm

Adam D wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Interstellar. He wasn't.
did he prefer Heineken?

One of these beardy weirdy vegan types....

by Guest Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:21 pm

Eraser

I didn't see a rubber, did you?

by Stella Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:23 pm

LiamB wrote:Eraser

I didn't see a rubber, did you?

There wasn't one in Johnny Be Good either!

by **seanmichaels** Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:24 pm

Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Nothing to do with fruit.

by President Trump Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:33 pm

Goodfellas - they were all pretty bad guys

by Rowley Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:45 pm

48 hours, I cleared my diary for the weekend for that one.

by Stella Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:59 pm

The Full Monty

I would have preferred a film about a massive fry up!

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