The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **JuliusHMarx** Fri 10 Oct 2014, 10:46 am

First topic message reminder :

Phucking Phirst.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:34 pm

Nice...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:38 pm

Actually, i'm feeling a bit uninspired with another lyrics quiz. i'll do something proper for tomorrow.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:39 pm

Fair enough mate, I am running out of time to do one anyhoo, but I await the morrow with anticipation...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:40 pm

Name the only England captain never to captain England in rugby union.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:40 pm

I had the strangest dream last night.

We were all in Runcorn B&Q but it was a nightclub populated by Culture Cup members.

Sean was there. He was wearing espadrilles, tight leather hotpants, a Stetson and a white vest emblazoned with the phrase ‘#I am not G.A.Y’. He was chasing Galted round the venue. Galted was wearing a pair of sandals, a hunting gillet and some cargo shorts with the a*se cut out. He was pretending to ride a horse whilst Sean whipped his bare bottom with one of my wilted spinach coloured jumpers.

Jeff was unfortunately dead. He had spent hours telling everyone how sh*t modern music and modern life in general was. Shah, dressed in black from head to toe for some reason, had had enough and beheaded Jeff with a plastic ruler whilst filming it on his smart phone.

Superfly was also there. He was laying in a pool of vomit and p!ss surrounded by cans of Tennents. Every so often he would raise his head and shout, through bubbles of puke, “I’ll smash youse in ya heid ya soft Sassenach bastards. I’ll chib ye in the puss. Square go” before falling asleep again.

Jules was hilarious. He had scooped his few remaining wisps of hair into a ponytail and was doing repeated moonwalks across the dance floor. By the time he had finished one moonwalk he had already forgotten he had done it so started again. All this whilst wearing a Charles II costume.

Union was the DJ. He had all the gear, a record bag stuffed full of bangin choons, the air filled with shouts of “Booyakasha. Listen up rudeboi, junglist massive”. The problem was, he didn’t have arms. He had two pitching wedges instead and couldn’t get his records out of the bag as they kept slipping through his grip. Shame.

Rick was there. He was being manhandled out of the club by DAVE (who was wearing a Swansea shirt with SHELVEY on the back). Apparently Rick had been shouting abuse at the barman because he wouldn’t serve him soup and a sandwich at 3 o’clock in the morning. Rick was shouting “give me my soup you motherf*cker. I’M A LAWYER, I’LL SHUT YOU DOWN YOU C*NT. And by the way, there is a capital ‘U’ in soUp, w*nkEr”.

Raf couldn’t get in. He was too young. Despite telling the doorman that he was a personal friend of Mandela, a scratch golfer, cricketing run machine, inside centre for the Springboks and achingly good looking.

Adam was outside banging on the window asking to be let in. He was being repeatedly spear tackled by LD for being a soft pommy bastard.

I was sitting in the VIP section having a drink with Wladimir Klitschko and Daniel Craig. I had one arm draped round the imaginary shoulder of TIMC, groping her imaginary breasts. My other arm was draped round the very real shoulder of TSMR whilst I groped her very real and very fulsome breasts. Rachel Weisz and Winona Ryder were holding my drink so I could sup it through a straw.

Weird.

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:48 pm

We must all never meet.

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:48 pm

I had a dream last night, was a dirty one. TSMR has been ill for a while so I have had neither sex or the opportunity for a w*nk. Not anywhere near as amusing or weird as Tina's dream, but 100% true.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:49 pm

The above made me LoL

super wrote:We must all never meet.

I think me and Tino probably have, albeit Eifel Towering a wench at the view... (if his suspicions are founded)

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:50 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Name the only England Rugby Union captain never to captain England in rugby union.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:51 pm

rick_dagless wrote:The above made me LoL

super wrote:We must all never meet.

I think me and Tino probably have, albeit Eifel Towering a wench at the view... (if his suspicions are founded)

What the hell is Eifel Towering?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:51 pm

Something to do with Captaining Lions?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:52 pm

rick_dagless wrote:The above made me LoL

super wrote:We must all never meet.

I think me and Tino probably have, albeit Eifel Towering a wench at the view... (if his suspicions are founded)

Eiffel towering?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:52 pm

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eiffel%20towering

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:52 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Something to do with Captaining Lions?

No

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:53 pm

rick_dagless wrote:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eiffel%20towering

Ha. I had a 3some once.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:53 pm

rick_dagless wrote:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eiffel%20towering

You had the back end from memory?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:56 pm

Tino wrote:You had the back end from memory?

Thats the one Tino...

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:56 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eiffel%20towering

Ha. I had a 3some once.

Prefect and House Master?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:57 pm

Rowley wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eiffel%20towering

Ha. I had a 3some once.

Prefect and House Master?

I'm sure I've told the story on here before. Two fat birds. One very, the other a bit.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:28 pm

Rings a bell to be honest sean, who says romance is dead...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:32 pm

Luckily it didn't get beyond a bit of hanky panky before one of them bottled it. If 'id woke up between those 2 I would have been well done.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:36 pm

Ian Botham?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:36 pm

I reckon at least basted mate, though fatties snore a lot so you couldve used the noise distraction as a way out.

Failing that just rufie a pasty...

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:37 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Luckily it didn't get beyond a bit of hanky panky before one of them bottled it. If 'id woke up between those 2 I would have been well done.

Did she bottle it or did her vision just clear for a few moments?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:40 pm

No. Their hands touched on my hampton and it freaked one of them out a bit.

Ian Botham is incorrect.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:45 pm

seanmichaels wrote:No. Their hands touched on my hampton and it freaked one of them out a bit.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:49 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Union was the DJ. He had all the gear, a record bag stuffed full of bangin choons, the air filled with shouts of “Booyakasha. Listen up rudeboi, junglist massive”. The problem was, he didn’t have arms. He had two pitching wedges instead and couldn’t get his records out of the bag as they kept slipping through his grip. Shame.

Strangely, I recently set up all my old DJ gear in my garage and have been working my way through my record collection, quite a trip down memory lane. Can't figure out a way to record anything though.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:51 pm

Union Cane wrote:

Strangely, I recently set up all my old DJ gear in my garage and have been working my way through my record collection, quite a trip down memory lane.

Have you been taking ecstasy to make it more authentic?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:51 pm

Union wrote:Strangely, I recently set up all my old DJ gear in my garage and have been working my way through my record collection, quite a trip down memory lane. Can't figure out a way to record anything though.

http://turntablelab.com/pages/recording-vinyl-into-your-computer-guide

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:52 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Union was the DJ. He had all the gear, a record bag stuffed full of bangin choons, the air filled with shouts of “Booyakasha. Listen up rudeboi, junglist massive”. The problem was, he didn’t have arms. He had two pitching wedges instead and couldn’t get his records out of the bag as they kept slipping through his grip. Shame.

Strangely, I recently set up all my old DJ gear in my garage and have been working my way through my record collection, quite a trip down memory lane. Can't figure out a way to record anything though.

Dictophone?

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:54 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Have you been taking ecstasy to make it more authentic?

No, I knew I was missing something. Can you still get it?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 3:56 pm

Union Cane wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Have you been taking ecstasy to make it more authentic?

No, I knew I was missing something. Can you still get it?

I don't think I could get it in my village, but if I nip back up north anytime soon, I'll pick you some up.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:01 pm

Mr Dharmasena must be able to source some?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:02 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Mr Dharmasena must be able to source some?

*Dharmishra.

He probably could if I asked, but they would be from the 1990's like most of his produce. They might kill Union and I don't want that to happen.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:04 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
Union wrote:Strangely, I recently set up all my old DJ gear in my garage and have been working my way through my record collection, quite a trip down memory lane. Can't figure out a way to record anything though.

http://turntablelab.com/pages/recording-vinyl-into-your-computer-guide

I've downloaded Audacity but I have nothing that will connect my stereo to the laptop.

I need an RCA jack to USB connector, I suppose I could have typed that into Amazon rather than here and I could have ordered one already.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:05 pm

Union Cane wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Union wrote:Strangely, I recently set up all my old DJ gear in my garage and have been working my way through my record collection, quite a trip down memory lane. Can't figure out a way to record anything though.

http://turntablelab.com/pages/recording-vinyl-into-your-computer-guide

I've downloaded Audacity but I have nothing that will connect my stereo to the laptop.

I need an RCA jack to USB connector, I suppose I could have typed that into Amazon rather than here and I could have ordered one already.

You can order Eastbound and Down at the same time.

Jeff and I both love it. That is as good an endorsement as you're likely to get.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:06 pm

Union wrote:I need an RCA jack to USB connector, I suppose I could have typed that into Amazon rather than here and I could have ordered one already.

Pretty much, most of my friends are DJ's of some variety seemingly, so they do this kinda stuff quite a lot.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:08 pm

I'm more of a rock'n'roller than a superstar DJ. I did once bump into Judge Jules in Ibiza whilst walking back to the villa after a heavy night. He lived just up the hill. I think I was singing Roxanne at the time.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:25 pm

Looks like you can't get RCA to USB. Will have to go headphone to USB, but I think my stereo has the bigger headphones hole.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:26 pm

3.5 to 6.3 adapter, 79p.

Boom.

Expect the next "DJ Union Cane" thread shortly.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:42 pm

is that you on the DJ Union Cane pic on you tube in a red shirt?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:45 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I did once bump into Judge Jules in Ibiza whilst walking back to the villa after a heavy night. He lived just up the hill. I think I was singing Roxanne at the time.

I don't remember that.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:52 pm

seanmichaels wrote:is that you on the DJ Union Cane pic on you tube in a red shirt?

The fat bloke with the mullet & 'tache?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:54 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I did once bump into Judge Jules in Ibiza whilst walking back to the villa after a heavy night. He lived just up the hill. I think I was singing Roxanne at the time.

I don't remember that.

You did look pretty buzzed at the time. Not sure you should have been driving

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:55 pm

Yeah!

The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy - Page 10 Photo

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:56 pm

And before you deny it, there can't be any other DJ Union Canes.

You've been outed as a Coxy.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 4:58 pm

Very good, Columbo.

picard

by **Galted** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 5:45 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I'm more of a rock'n'roller than a superstar DJ. I did once bump into Judge Jules in Ibiza whilst walking back to the villa after a heavy night. He lived just up the hill. I think I was singing Roxanne at the time.

I used to work with Pete Tong's brother, we would compare Daily Telegraph cryptic crossword answers. I once dropped my guts in the office and he walked straight into the stench. He said that I should be put down.

by kingraf Thu 16 Oct 2014, 6:49 pm

I listened to a bit of Union's mix. What the phuck was that? how does anyone even dance to this?! Don't answer, obviously one just shakes their hands like a Parkinsons sufferer who is having an epileptic fit,

by Rowley Fri 17 Oct 2014, 7:47 am

Morning all.

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