The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:Decided to treat myself to a 3-piece variety meal but the Wrap-It-Up is between work & the KFC so you can probably imagine what happened.

Your Hi-Techs started to squeek?

Probably but I was too hungry to notice.  Almost broke into a run as I approached the Wrap-It-Up.

Have you ever been to Tamada by the way?  Georgian restaurant off Abbey Road.  Went there for my birthday and found no reason to complain.

I'm not really a London person. Occasionally Putney or Clapham to see mates or Lords for the cricket.

If Georgian food is anything like Estonian fayre I may give it a miss.

Thirdly, I only own 2 pairs.

Galted wrote:According to Urban Dictionary it is, can also be referred to anything cheap and generic. .

So perfect for Sean's new coat.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:In all fairness Tina, when you own as many Hi Tecs as Galted knowing a lot of terms for sh!t shoes is not too far out of leftfield.

True, but he has got new fancy laces so I expect he is batting the ladies away now.

I may have lied about the "new" laces being new, I took them from the less favoured pair to replace the ones the kitten had bitten through.

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I think Spars are a norvern thing these days.

Where is the hunting ground of the southern Chav?

I think they are quite soft down here so they don't tend to be outdoors in the winter. Probably most likely to find them in the foyet of a cinema.

Conversely, in the summer months of May to August, if the temperature rises above 13 degrees and the sun is visible through the layers of cloud, you'll find them walking along an A road without a top on.

Where I live they tend to congregate in the Co-op parking lot or have fights outside the Costcutter.

Galted wrote:Where I live they tend to congregate in the Co-op parking lot or have fights outside the Costcutter.

Good work, Galted.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:According to Urban Dictionary it is, can also be referred to anything cheap and generic. .

So perfect for Sean's new coat.

Listen, I didn't buy it but it is sensible particularly in the current weather. I think the missus is trying to change the way I dress. I'm probably too old for that Followill chap look.

I was quite surprised how chav-y Guildford was when I went shopping on Xmas eve. Usually a relatively pleasant place.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Where I live they tend to congregate in the Co-op parking lot or have fights outside the Costcutter.

Good work, Galted.

Lol.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Where I live they tend to congregate in the Co-op parking lot or have fights outside the Costcutter.

Good work, Galted.

Lol.

Sorry, L*l.

seanmichaels wrote:

Listen, I didn't buy it but it is sensible particularly in the current weather.

You really are rock and roll, seany.

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Where I live they tend to congregate in the Co-op parking lot or have fights outside the Costcutter.

Good work, Galted.

Lol.

Sorry, L*l.

LOL

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Where I live they tend to congregate in the Co-op parking lot or have fights outside the Costcutter.

Good work, Galted.

Lol.

Sorry, L*l.

Good save, G-Unit.

Jeff was just about to pull the trigger on your account.

G-Unit?

Thought he needed a jazzy name to go with his new laces.

Thanks for explaining and thanks for asking the question. Was unsure myself even after a bit of Googling and decided that that I should just pretend to know what you were on about to look less foolish.

Do you like it or not?

Not sure, it reminds me a bit of "G-spot" but does have a consequential ring to it. If a parking lot chav were to ask me my name and I said "G-unit" he'd probably run away.

pretty sure there are really chvvy trainers called G-Starr (sic)

I hope I have not made that up

Galted wrote:Not sure, it reminds me a bit of "G-spot" but does have a consequential ring to it.  If a parking lot chav were to ask me my name and I said "G-unit" he'd probably run away.

Depends what you were wearing really. If you were rocking your full on Ray Mears look then he might smash your face in regardless of your new moniker.

rick_dagless wrote:pretty sure there are really chvvy trainers called G-Starr (sic)

I hope I have not made that up

You haven't, they also make over priced Jeans that do not fit correctly.

I have a G-Plan coffee table......

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Not sure, it reminds me a bit of "G-spot" but does have a consequential ring to it.  If a parking lot chav were to ask me my name and I said "G-unit" he'd probably run away.

Depends what you were wearing really.  If you were rocking your full on Ray Mears look then he might smash your face in regardless of your new moniker.

I don't look like Ray Mears, none of my clothes are khaki or olive coloured except for a fleece which is home use only. And I don't "rock". If someone tried to smash my face I'd push them over and give them a good Hi-Teccing when they were down.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Not sure, it reminds me a bit of "G-spot" but does have a consequential ring to it.  If a parking lot chav were to ask me my name and I said "G-unit" he'd probably run away.

Depends what you were wearing really.  If you were rocking your full on Ray Mears look then he might smash your face in regardless of your new moniker.

I don't look like Ray Mears, none of my clothes are khaki or olive coloured except for a fleece which is home use only.  And I don't "rock".  If someone tried to smash my face I'd push them over and give them a good Hi-Teccing when they were down.

Why do you wear camouflage gear indoors?

Rowley wrote:You haven't, they also make over priced Jeans that do not fit correctly.

Ah yes Jeff, the ones that seemingly will not stay on the waist

(anecdotaly as an invitation for special man love in prisons I believe)

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Not sure, it reminds me a bit of "G-spot" but does have a consequential ring to it.  If a parking lot chav were to ask me my name and I said "G-unit" he'd probably run away.

Depends what you were wearing really.  If you were rocking your full on Ray Mears look then he might smash your face in regardless of your new moniker.

I don't look like Ray Mears, none of my clothes are khaki or olive coloured except for a fleece which is home use only.  And I don't "rock".  If someone tried to smash my face I'd push them over and give them a good Hi-Teccing when they were down.

Why do you wear camouflage gear indoors?

Good question.

Over to you, Ray?

rick_dagless wrote:

the ones that seemingly will not stay on the waist

Don't think that is much of an issue for Jeff.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Not sure, it reminds me a bit of "G-spot" but does have a consequential ring to it.  If a parking lot chav were to ask me my name and I said "G-unit" he'd probably run away.

Depends what you were wearing really.  If you were rocking your full on Ray Mears look then he might smash your face in regardless of your new moniker.

I don't look like Ray Mears, none of my clothes are khaki or olive coloured except for a fleece which is home use only.  And I don't "rock".  If someone tried to smash my face I'd push them over and give them a good Hi-Teccing when they were down.

Why do you wear camouflage gear indoors?

Good question.

Over to you, Ray?

It's only camouflage gear in a room with black curtains, black furniture and a black carpet. It's more stealth gear than camouflage gear.

Galted wrote:It's only camouflage gear in a room with black curtains, black furniture and a black carpet. It's more stealth gear than camouflage gear

Or at night...

If the number of names you have was representative of your standing on 606v2, then Galted would be the head honcho.

Galted
Glated
Gayted
Ray
G-Unit
Bear

He has been called all of those at one point or another.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:If the number of names you have was representative of your standing on 606v2, then Galted would be the head honcho.

Clearly they're not then.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:If the number of names you have was representative of your standing on 606v2, then Galted would be the head honcho.

Clearly they're not then.

I think you came up with Gayted.  One of my favourites.

It was shortly after he declared that he thought of me in

Galted wrote: a massively gay way

@ Tino
you're not doing too badly yourself:
Tino
Tina
Mind The Windows Tino.
Little Stalkerish W*nker
Stalkerish Little W*nker
W*nkerish Little Stalker

@ Julius
That would have been quite funny were it directed at someone other than me

Galted wrote:
Little Stalkerish W*nker
Stalkerish Little W*nker
W*nkerish Little Stalker

  

How do you think of someone in a massively gay way? If you were listening to Gloria Gaynor, supping a cup of herbal tea with your little finger raised, - whilst thinking of someone, would that qualify?

nb. - I can massively picture Nigel Slater doing the above

seanmichaels wrote:How do you think of someone in a massively gay way? If you were listening to Gloria Gaynor, supping a cup of herbal tea with your little finger raised, - whilst thinking of someone, would that qualify?

Possibly, or you could be watching two arthropods mating, think of Tino and become quite aroused.

I got quite aroused watching Carol do the weather yesterday morning. Also the sport woman on BBC - blonde scruffy haired one.

I got aroused by an animated character in The Croods.

I got aroused once.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I got aroused by an animated character in The Croods.

Probably because it's the closest thing to a woman you've seen since your son took control of the remote

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

Documentary about Fred Trueman if memory serves.

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

Documentary about Fred Trueman if memory serves.

Remember him as a decentish fast bowler of sorts.

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

Documentary about Fred Trueman if memory serves.

Missus went overkill on cricket books this Christmas. Got the Harold Larwood book, one on bodyline and one whcihc i can't currently recall. Fred one good?

I suspect there are a few folk on here who are not allowed to be aroused by law

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

Documentary about Fred Trueman if memory serves.

Remember him as a decentish fast bowler of sorts.

Fred Trueman's Witty Quips
John Arlott, the poetic cricket commentator, raconteur and wine enthusiast from Hampshire, wrote that Trueman approached the wicket 'with the majestic rhythm that emerges as a surprise in the Spanish fighting bull'. Beginning at a steady pad, he gradually accelerated, hair flopping, until he completed his charge in an explosion of malevolent power.

Trueman rounded off this spectacle with histrionic gestures of despair, rage or triumph.Arguably the finest fast bowler that England [and of course Yorkshire] has produced, Freddie Trueman's ability did not end there say Will and Guy. He was a splendid story teller and would regale audiences with his "cricketing tales".Did You Know?Trueman played football for Lincoln City and turned down professional terms to concentrate on cricket.Some might argue that many of his stories were apocryphal; others might remark that it matters not since the tales are fun and indeed funny. We hope you will enjoy the items we have chosen to share with our readers here.FS Trueman's Fabulously Funny Cricketing Anecdotes 'Owzat?Trueman bowls. Batsman is trapped plumb LBW. Trueman appeals. Not out.Next ball. Trueman ever-so-slightly irritated. Trueman bowls. Audible snick, ball deflects and sails upward, caught behind. Trueman appeals. Not out.Third ball. Trueman a little more irritated now. Trueman bowls. Through the gate, stumps spread-eagled, middle stump uprooted and cartwheeling. Trueman turns to the umpire and says with a wry smile, 'We nearly had him that time, didn't we?'ReligionOn the tour of Australia in 1962-63, the Reverend David Sheppard dropped several catches.'Kid yourself it's Sunday, Rev,' Trueman expostulated, 'and keep your hands together.'Humour of the Self Deprecating Kind [unusual for Fred]The scene was an Ashes test with England fielding ..... 'and I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket, a rap on the pads, Howzat? One for none.I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket and the bails were off, two for none.Then in came the great Sir Don Bradman. I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket, the ball was in the air, a fantastic catch on the long on boundary, three for three hundred and seventy six.
HeadingleyOn one occasion, an opposition batsman walking through the gate onto the outfield was told, 'Don't bother shutting it. You'll be back soon.'Versus Cambridge UniversityWhen a Cambridge University student FS Trueman had just bowled said, 'That was a very good ball, Mr Trueman', he responded allegedly with, 'Ay, 'twas wasted on thee.'I'm Good!He enjoyed being told he was good, too, and along these lines a lovely tale told by Richard Hutton reads as follows: after Freddie had returned yet another of his many five-wicket performances. 'Well bowled, Fred,' he said. 'Outswingers, inswingers, bouncers, yorkers, you bowled the lot. Tell me, did you ever bowl a plain straight one?'Quick as a flash came the reply, 'Aye, one. But it was so fast it went through him like a dose a salts and knocked all three down.'An allegedly true story about Fred on tour in the West Indies
Apparently Fred, at a reception during a tour of The West Indies, approached an elegant woman and made a pass at her.She allegedly replied, 'As a woman, Mr Trueman, I am extremely flattered. But, as the governor's wife. I am absolutely outraged!'

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

Documentary about Fred Trueman if memory serves.

Missus went overkill on cricket books this Christmas. Got the Harold Larwood book, one on bodyline and one whcihc i can't currently recall. Fred one good?

Have not got the Trueman book. Have read the Larwood book though Sean, that is excellent.

seanmichaels wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:I got aroused once.

Was it at the opening of money supermarket?

Documentary about Fred Trueman if memory serves.

Remember him as a decentish fast bowler of sorts.

Fred Trueman's Witty Quips
John Arlott, the poetic cricket commentator, raconteur and wine enthusiast from Hampshire, wrote that Trueman approached the wicket 'with the majestic rhythm that emerges as a surprise in the Spanish fighting bull'. Beginning at a steady pad, he gradually accelerated, hair flopping, until he completed his charge in an explosion of malevolent power.

Trueman rounded off this spectacle with histrionic gestures of despair, rage or triumph.Arguably the finest fast bowler that England [and of course Yorkshire] has produced, Freddie Trueman's ability did not end there say Will and Guy. He was a splendid story teller and would regale audiences with his "cricketing tales".Did You Know?Trueman played football for Lincoln City and turned down professional terms to concentrate on cricket.Some might argue that many of his stories were apocryphal; others might remark that it matters not since the tales are fun and indeed funny. We hope you will enjoy the items we have chosen to share with our readers here.FS Trueman's Fabulously Funny Cricketing Anecdotes 'Owzat?Trueman bowls. Batsman is trapped plumb LBW. Trueman appeals. Not out.Next ball. Trueman ever-so-slightly irritated. Trueman bowls. Audible snick, ball deflects and sails upward, caught behind. Trueman appeals. Not out.Third ball. Trueman a little more irritated now. Trueman bowls. Through the gate, stumps spread-eagled, middle stump uprooted and cartwheeling. Trueman turns to the umpire and says with a wry smile, 'We nearly had him that time, didn't we?'ReligionOn the tour of Australia in 1962-63, the Reverend David Sheppard dropped several catches.'Kid yourself it's Sunday, Rev,' Trueman expostulated, 'and keep your hands together.'Humour of the Self Deprecating Kind [unusual for Fred]The scene was an Ashes test with England fielding ..... 'and I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket, a rap on the pads, Howzat? One for none.I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket and the bails were off, two for none.Then in came the great Sir Don Bradman. I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket, the ball was in the air, a fantastic catch on the long on boundary, three for three hundred and seventy six.
HeadingleyOn one occasion, an opposition batsman walking through the gate onto the outfield was told, 'Don't bother shutting it. You'll be back soon.'Versus Cambridge UniversityWhen a Cambridge University student FS Trueman had just bowled said, 'That was a very good ball, Mr Trueman', he responded allegedly with, 'Ay, 'twas wasted on thee.'I'm Good!He enjoyed being told he was good, too, and along these lines a lovely tale told by Richard Hutton reads as follows: after Freddie had returned yet another of his many five-wicket performances. 'Well bowled, Fred,' he said. 'Outswingers, inswingers, bouncers, yorkers, you bowled the lot. Tell me, did you ever bowl a plain straight one?'Quick as a flash came the reply, 'Aye, one. But it was so fast it went through him like a dose a salts and knocked all three down.'An allegedly true story about Fred on tour in the West Indies
Apparently Fred, at a reception during a tour of The West Indies, approached an elegant woman and made a pass at her.She allegedly replied, 'As a woman, Mr Trueman, I am extremely flattered. But, as the governor's wife. I am absolutely outraged!'

Was winding Jeff up mate. I know he was a Monty type bowler

seanmichaels wrote:

Missus went overkill on cricket books this Christmas.

Cricket books and bobo coats. What a woman.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Missus went overkill on cricket books this Christmas.

Cricket books and bobo coats.  What a woman.  

Must admit to being slightly disappointed. Thought we'd agreed on a pipe and I nailed her presents for a change.