The Culture Cup round 6

It's just as funny on the second read.

Cambridge was full of Christmas shoppers wrapped up warm yesterday, Galted.

One lady had a particularly sturdy looking Berghaus jacket proudly displaying the Gore-Texness of it on the arm. Gore-Tex XCR to be precise.

According to the Marmot Mountain Site website it "improves significantly on the insidious wet that you get from sweat".

This could go some way to dividing the Gore-Tex community, a sort of modern-day Reformation with Jack Wolfskinners cast as the anti-christ.

Galted wrote:

This could go some way to dividing the Gore-Tex community, a sort of modern-day Reformation with Jack Wolfskinners cast as the anti-christ.

I think Jack Wolfskin are slightly cooler than Berghaus.  Would I be correct in that assumption?

I appreciate that is as cool as being the only kid in the special school that doesn't dribble when they talk but I am interested to know what your thoughts are?

I went snowboarding a few years back for the first time. Pretty sure my ski jacket was one of these gore tex things. During my first and only morning of trying to snowboard I got too hot and sweaty. Decided to pack it in after that. Uncomfortably hot and sweaty, severly bruised arse and smug f###ing  swiss toddlers slaloming round my stricken frame every 5 seconds. Decided to get hammered in the bars, much more fun.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

This could go some way to dividing the Gore-Tex community, a sort of modern-day Reformation with Jack Wolfskinners cast as the anti-christ.

I think Jack Wolfskin are slightly cooler than Berghaus.  Would I be correct in that assumption?

I appreciate that is as cool as being the only kid in the special school that doesn't dribble when they talk but I am interested to know what your thoughts are?

Couldn't say for sure, may be that Jack Wolfskin is seen to be a lot cooler since I started wearing one, I have that impact on sensible fashion.

During my daily perusal of the Mail, amidst all the angry articles I enjoy reading, I found this little beauty.  Topical given the last few days worth of discussion.

Spoiler:

For the record, the correct answers are Bap, Pants and Pumps.

is it sunshine or sunsheeeeeyiiiine?

rolls
pants or trousers
f*****g useless non-Hi-Tec footwear

seanmichaels wrote:sunsheeeeeyiiiine?

Only if you're a gobby Manc.

Cob, trousers, trainers.

They spelt 'ayup' incorrectly too.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:sunsheeeeeyiiiine?

Only if you're a gobby Manc.

Was in Finsbury Park for the recent Stone Roses concerts.

There were shiiiiiiiiiiiiiine comments, silly Kangol hats (like Hatton used to wear) and Liam Gallagher overcoats everywhere......

TopHat24/7 wrote:

There were shiiiiiiiiiiiiiine comments, silly Kangol hats (like Hatton used to wear) and Liam Gallagher overcoats everywhere......

You've met Jeff then?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:

There were shiiiiiiiiiiiiiine comments, silly Kangol hats (like Hatton used to wear) and Liam Gallagher overcoats everywhere......

You've met Jeff then?

Still not got over not getting a Heaton Park ticket then Tina?

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:

There were shiiiiiiiiiiiiiine comments, silly Kangol hats (like Hatton used to wear) and Liam Gallagher overcoats everywhere......

You've met Jeff then?

Still not got over not getting a Heaton Park ticket then Tina?

Yep.

The only way I can move on is imagining you in your parka saying 'mad fer it' all night long.

Sad thing is I do actually own a rather fetching Reni hat, however you will be pleased to know I did not wear it.

More importantly, have you ever p*ssed in the sink?

Of course I have.

Good man.

So have I, and you'd ague I'm as Southern as it gets.

Basically your 'sink test' is about as pony as your 'brogues test'.

TopHat24/7 wrote:So have I, and you'd ague I'm as Southern as it gets.

Basically your 'sink test' is about as pony as your 'brogues test'.

It's not my test, fat lad. I just posted something from your favourite publication.

I expect you were too busy ransacking the fridge at the same time to be bothered walking to the toilet.

Perhaps the difference is that oop north the sink is used as both a toilet and kitchen facility, possibly simultaneously, while the actual toilet is seen as gateway to hell or an evil looking-glass for seeing into the future (which is why they're normally housed outside in a separate building between the pigeon coop and kennel), whereas, down south, one tends to think, while p1ssing in the sink, "I really f*****g wish that I had the co-ordination to make it up the stairs, I'll never drink so much again.  Bloody lager and twenty-five quid vodka and red bulls.  Rugby League sucks."

I think the article is tosh.

Roll / Bap - A roll is generally something fist sized and of varying shapes. A bap is about twice the size and evenly rounded hence it's comparison to a t1t. Hollie Willoughby has lovely rolls just doesn't work.

 

Galted wrote:Perhaps the difference is that oop north the sink is used as both a toilet and kitchen facility, possibly simultaneously, while the actual toilet is seen as gateway to hell or an evil looking-glass for seeing into the future (which is why they're normally housed outside in a separate building between the pigeon coop and kennel), whereas, down south, one tends to think, while p1ssing in the sink, "I really f*****g wish that I had the co-ordination to make it up the stairs, I'll never drink so much again.  Bloody lager and twenty-five quid vodka and red bulls.  Rugby League sucks."

TopHat24/7 wrote:So have I, and you'd ague I'm as Southern as it gets.

Basically your 'sink test' is about as pony as your 'brogues test'.

The godawful use of pony as an adjective supports this.

Il Gialloblu wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:So have I, and you'd ague I'm as Southern as it gets.

Basically your 'sink test' is about as pony as your 'brogues test'.

The godawful use of pony as an adjective supports this.

He's got 'is minerals 'as Toppy.

Galted wrote:"I really f*****g wish that I had the co-ordination to make it up the stairs, I'll never drink so much again.

So two pints then?

My nan still has an outside toilet which I occasionally use.  She lives in Northwich.  She does have an indoor one as well which is a good job as she is in her 90's and I wouldn't fancy her chances of making it to the outside loo if she suddenly got a turtle head poking through.

I don't visit that often but when I do, I use it as it makes me feel like I am a Marine or something.  Sh*tting outside.

Did you leave it in the bowl and blame her?

I would have.

Galted wrote:Did you leave it in the bowl and blame her?

I would have.

The last one was huge. Something to do with the cold air I think.

I stuck a flag in it and claimed it as an Island.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Did you leave it in the bowl and blame her?

I would have.

The last one was huge.  Something to do with the cold air I think.

I stuck a flag in it and claimed it as an Island.

Were you playing a guitar, by any chance?

No, Gia. No I wasn't.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:"I really f*****g wish that I had the co-ordination to make it up the stairs, I'll never drink so much again.

So two pints then?

My nan still has an outside toilet which I occasionally use.  She lives in Northwich.  She does have an indoor one as well which is a good job as she is in her 90's and I wouldn't fancy her chances of making it to the outside loo if she suddenly got a turtle head poking through.

I don't visit that often but when I do, I use it as it makes me feel like I am a Marine or something.  Sh*tting outside.

Mate's Dad 70ish was driving to a Crown Court about 40 miles away. Half way there he got struck with the desperate need to have a Poopie to the extent that when he arrived at the car park he couldn't stand up for fear of demolishing his suit. He'd parked next to a bush so he slid along his seat and arched up just enough to be able to pebble dash the bush. He then removed his boxers to 'clean up' the splashes before popping in to court.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:

There were shiiiiiiiiiiiiiine comments, silly Kangol hats (like Hatton used to wear) and Liam Gallagher overcoats everywhere......

You've met Jeff then?

Still not got over not getting a Heaton Park ticket then Tina?

Yep.

The only way I can move on is imagining you in your parka saying 'mad fer it' all night long.

i couldnt get tickets online, rocked up on the night and got two tickets face value  

does help that heaton park is 5 minutes away from where i live, so isn't as much of a risk

at uni accommodation you had a sink in your room, the other toilets all the way down the hall, didn't take long to realise that, that sink was only being used for one purpose

compelling and rich wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:

There were shiiiiiiiiiiiiiine comments, silly Kangol hats (like Hatton used to wear) and Liam Gallagher overcoats everywhere......

You've met Jeff then?

Still not got over not getting a Heaton Park ticket then Tina?

Yep.

The only way I can move on is imagining you in your parka saying 'mad fer it' all night long.

i couldnt get tickets online, rocked up on the night and got two tickets face value  

does help that heaton park is 5 minutes away from where i live, so isn't as much of a risk

I used to like you, C&R.

I am 200 miles away from Heaton Park. If you'd have said, I could have come and stayed with you before hand.

you wouldn't like it where i live tino, full of gobby mancs

 

Rubbish on here today.

Yeah sorry, I have been busy sh*tting in the sink.

There's no need for vulgarity, Tino, some of the comments I read on this forum make me despair.

Sorry we are not discussing crap clothes today Galted, you are so self centred.

The same applies to you, Rowley. Can you not say "clothes that very much cater to unique individual tastes" rather than "crap clothes"?

Words can be quite damaging.

I used to work with a kid who came to work in full military garb, the stuff you buy off rubbish market stalls for geezers who have read Bravo Two Zero far too many times. I could have described his gear as "clothes that very much cater to unique individual tastes", however I also chose to describe them as crap.

Galted wrote:There's no need for vulgarity, Tino, some of the comments I read on this forum make me despair.

You're really not a position to have a go at me for vulgarity.

Rowley wrote:I used to work with a kid who came to work in full military garb, the stuff you buy off rubbish market stalls for geezers who have read Bravo Two Zero far too many times. I could have described his gear as "clothes that very much cater to unique individual tastes", however I also chose to describe them as crap.

Please don't use the word "geezer", Jeff.

Its cockernee and therefore not befitting a man of the North.

Fair point Tina. As an aside the bloke who used to dress like that was a fairly rotund fellow. One of the wags on his team named him Andy McFlab.

Rowley wrote:I used to work with a kid who came to work in full military garb, the stuff you buy off rubbish market stalls for geezers who have read Bravo Two Zero far too many times. I could have described his gear as "clothes that very much cater to unique individual tastes", however I also chose to describe them as crap.

I tend to agree with your word selection in this instance. Used to pass a thickset, goateed person in the streets who wore camouflage gear, heavy boots and a studded leather colour. Quite frightful.

Rowley wrote:Fair point Tina. As an aside the bloke who used to dress like that was a fairly rotund fellow. One of the wags on his team named him Andy McFlab.

That's relatively amusing. Didn't deserve a L*L but quite funny.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Its cockernee and therefore not befitting a man of the North.

Wonderful wordsmithery there, Tino.

The really tragic thing Galted, this was when I worked for the Home Office. Who in their right mind thinks that is appropriate dress for such a job.