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Random Thoughts.....

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 Tue 22 May - 16:02


This week’s ‘Random Thoughts’ is the big comeback edition after an enforced absence. Cue the obligatory massive pop for the surprise return before everyone realises that they didn’t actually care all that much that ‘Random Thoughts’ was gone. You heathens!


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At Over the Limit the General Manager of RAW, Smackdown, NXT, FCW, Velocity and Shotgun Saturday Night John Laurinaitis overcame the odds to condemn Jumpin’ John Cena to only the second defeat of his career, probably. Johnny Ace summoned up a display of pride, guts and intestinal fortitude - not seen since X-Pac went one-on-one with Chyna - to vanquish his foe.

Of course the major talking point stemming from this match was the SHOCKING heel turn of the Big Show, the first time he’s ever done that in his career I believe. I guarantee you there was NOBODY ON THE PLANET who saw that one coming.

I haven’t been that shocked since Mr. America was revealed to be Hulk Hogan.


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CM Punk and Daniel Bryan Danielson put on a wrestling clinic at Over the Limit. Punk picked up the win in (supposedly) controversial fashion, earning himself a 3 count but tapping out after the referee’s hand hit the mat for the 3. This seems to have been done in order to prolong their feud, which I’m all for. Their next match will most likely have some sort of stipulation attached, which lends itself to all sorts of possibilities. Will it be a Submission match? Or 2 out of 3 Falls? Or an Evening Gown match?

Most people’s preferred match choice for these two would be a 60 minute Iron Man match. Not me though, I’m hoping they save that stipulation for the once in a lifetime confrontation between John Cena and the Big Show.


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The White Whale Shamoose successfully defended his World Heavyweight Championship at Over the Limit fella. Overcoming odds of 3 against 1 or 2 against 2 or 1 against 3, the Irish Irishman beat Randy Orton, Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho in a knock down, drag out, up the stairs and around the corner slugfest.

Next up for Shamoose is.......well who knows? Maybe a feud with the ‘Apex Legend Viper Predator Killer’? That one would be for not just some of the marbles, oh no. It’d be for ALL the marbles. And a packet of Jaffa Cakes. As for Del Rio and Jericho, well it’s anybody’s guess. I feel a bit sorry for Chris Jericho, as Over the Limit marked his 5th straight pay per view loss, hardly a stellar record. It must be especially galling for someone who sees himself as a huge main-event star. I’m just wondering who does his contract negotiations. Maybe it’s himself;

“Okay Vince, I’m ready to come back baby!”

“Yay”.

“So, first things first: I want to headline Wrestlemania”.

“No”.

“Extreme Rules?”

“No”.

“Over the Limit?”

“No”.

“Fine. But I want a run with the WWE title”.

“No”.

“World Heavyweight title?”

“No”.

“Intercontinental?”

“No”.

“Diva’s?”

“No”.

“ Can I work limited dates?”

“No”.

“Can I use the company jet?”

“No”.

“Can I at least come across as a man of honesty who backs up everything he says?”

“No”.

“Well in that case can I get 1 million dollars?”

“No”.

“Half a million?”

“No”.

“Can I get paid?”

“No”.

“..............when do I start?”

Next time Chris, try and get some of your demands agreed to eh?


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Christian returned to in-ring action at Over the Limit, winning a Battle Royal and earning himself a shot at either the Intercontinental or United States title. Being the consummate heel, Christian decided to face US champion Santino Marella. But when Cody Rhodes outheeled (it’s a word dammit!) ‘Captain Charisma’ in a backstage segment, Christian wasn’t hearing that noise and decided to face the son of the son of a plumber instead. When all was said and done, and all the smoke had cleared, Christian was the new Intercontinental champion.

A backstage interview has since emerged where Christian has stated that he chose to challenge for the Intercontinental title because in days gone by the IC champion was next in line for a World title shot. That’s all well and good but to be honest I reckon Vince McMahon feels Christian has found his level. When it comes to Christian, Vince always reminds me of a dog owner trying to keep their pet off the couch:

“Bad Christian! Get down from that main event level! No! Bad Christian! DOWN!”


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The main event of No Way Out has been set, and it’s the match we’ve seemingly waited a lifetime to see; John Cena versus the Big Show! Supposedly, No Way Out will have a Cage match theme this year, eerily similar to TNA’s Lockdown pay per view. Fret ye not my fellow 606v2ers, just because Cena / Show might be a Cage match DOESN’T mean they can’t still add an Iron Man stipulation to the match too!

John Cena versus the Big Show in a 60 minute Iron Man match inside a 60 foot high steel cage is the stuff wet dreams are made of I’m sure you’ll agree. I’d go so far as to say that if and when this match happens Dave Meltzer will award it 23 stars. And that’s no exaggeration. Make the most of it people because the chances are you’ll NEVER see these two face each other again.

Cena. Big Show. Never before. Never again.

Now buy the damn pay per view!


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Amazingly enough, it looks as if the CM Punk / Daniel Bryan Danielson feud is set to continue. Quite frankly, I’m astounded that WWE have decided to give these two another go around. I mean who the hell wants to watch WRESTLING anyway?!

Until Punk’s sister turns on him to side with Bryan or one of them runs over the other’s car with a monster truck then this feud will never be all that it can be.


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World Heavyweight champion Shamoose is looking a little light on challengers following this week’s RAW, with Randy Orton and Chris Jericho seemingly scheduled to feud with each other. Given their interaction this week on RAW though, Mighty Whitey might have found himself a new challenger – Tensai.

What has Tensai done to earn himself a World Heavyweight title shot I hear you ask? Oh you didn’t ask? Well I’ll tell you anyway; he’s changed his name to just ‘Tensai’! YEAH! No more ‘Lord Tensai’.

IT’S JUST ‘TENSAI’ PEOPLE!

Consider your minds well and truly boggled.


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Poor old Jumpin’ John Cena has filed for divorce from his childhood sweetheart. Word is that despite Cena making his future wife sign a pre-nup, she’s getting set to take him to the cleaners and things could get VERY nasty indeed. If that’s the case then brace yourselves for a multitude of new John Cena t-shirts being released. Don’t worry, I’m sure all the new gear will be as classy and understated as all his previous merchandise.

I hope that John and Mrs. Cena settle things the way all things of this nature should be settled: IN THAT VERY RING! Cena versus his wife would be the biggest stipulation bout since the classic Judy Bagwell on a Pole match in WCW.

I can’t wait for this to go to court though, it’ll be 3 months of Jumpin’ John getting his arse reamed out by his wife’s lawyers before he turns the tables on the last day. He’ll take the stand and hit the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and Attitude Adjustment before winning the case with the STF. Cena wins the case and gets everything whilst his now ex-wife is left with nothing. Michael Cole will be drafted in to comment on proceedings: “John Cena has overcome divorce! HE’S OVERCOME DIVORCE! OH MY!”

That’s how I reckon it will go down anyway.


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TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode kicked off this week’s (Jefferson) Impact by gloating about his title win at Scott Steiner’s favourite pay per view – Sakerfice – and by telling everybody that in 7 days times he’d be the longest running World champion in company history. Which is nice.

He then stated he’d decided to have a shindig to celebrate his feat and that he’d be calling it the ‘Celebration of Domination’. He called out Hulk Hogan and told him he had a list of demands that included his dressing room being done up nicely, a bowl of green M&M’s, champagne and golden confetti that would fall from the rafters during his entrance. But not just any golden confetti - oh no my friends – he wanted CANADIAN golden confetti! WHAT A HEEL!

Hulk Hogan tore up his list of demands. Because TNA can’t afford them.


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Throughout the night on this week’s (Jefferson) Impact there were a series of Open Fight Night qualifiers to determine who would face Bobby Roode on next week’s show.

Bully Ray defeated RVD, Jeffrey Nero Hardy outlasted Mr. Anderson, AJ Styles won a Battle Royal and Kurt Angle bested Samoa Joe to claim their spots as the final four. What happens now isn’t clear; is there a match between these four or is it just a case of Hulk Hogan choosing who’s best in show?

Regardless, the highlight of the Open Fight Night qualifiers was Kurt Angle’s backstage confrontation with Samoa Joe. After a little jaw-jacking by both men, Kurt held up his left and hand and said “See that?” before slapping Joe with his right hand as Joe looked at his left.

This would have been so much better if Kurt had caused the distraction by waving his car keys in Joe’s face; “Look at the shiny shiny! LOOK AT THE SHINY SHINY!” before smacking Joe upside his noggin.

Samoan Submission Machine? PFFT! Samoan Dumbass Machine more like.


=====


Christopher Daniels and Kazarian SHOCKED THE WORLD AND CHANGED THE FACE OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING FOREVER when they revealed AJ Styles’ big secret; he was getting up close and personal with the President of TNA John Laurinaitis......what’s that? John Laurinaitis isn’t President of TNA? But his team won the match at Wrestlemania! I thought that meant he got to be in charge of wrestling? Pardon? Just RAW and Smackdown? Oh I see. So who was AJ Styles getting jiggy with? Right.

So apparently it was Dixie Carter that AJ was seen canoodling (great word) with. Daniels and Kazarian then revealed footage of AJ and Dixie at a hotel walking arm in arm before entering a room together. AJ looked shocked, Christopher Daniels was loving every minute of it and Kazarian looked disappointed that AJ wasn’t dragging HIM into a hotel room. Fortunately, we didn’t see what happened in that room, but I can exclusively reveal that waiting for AJ and Dixie was Hulk Hogan and a video camera.

2 Brunettes 1 Hulk - I guess AJ Styles is doing his damnedest to remain TNA’s poster boy.


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Gail Kim defended her Knockout’s title against Velvet Sky and Brooke Tessmacher. There was a backstage confrontation between the 3 of them prior to the match, and it ended with Brooke and Velvet walking off together with their arms around each other. Why is it that whenever there a couple of babyface Knockouts going up against heels they walk off cuddling each other?

In the interest of equal opportunities I think TNA should apply the same rules to their male wrestlers. At the end of this week’s (Jefferson) Impact, after their face-off with Bobby Roode the contenders for Open Fight Night Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray and AJ Styles should have all linked arms and skipped away “Tra-la-la-la-laaaa!”.

If they’d done that then people would actually PAY to get into the (Jefferson) Impact Zone next week. I guarandamntee it.


=====


Word is that the NAITCHA BWAAAAH! Ric Flair and Alex Shelley have left TNA. Flair simply stopped showing up for TV tapings but there’s no word on why Shelley has left, although he probably wouldn’t have been happy with how the Motor City Machine Guns were being used. In an ideal world Chris Sabin will join him in leaving, they’ll head to WWE and reinvigorate the tag team division along with teams like Air Truth (or whatever they’re called) and Jenneth and Jartholomew Uso (or whatever they’re called). This couldn’t happen right away of course, the Machine Guns would have to be taught how to wrestle first.

Flair had been causing consternation for TNA officials for some time, practically since the minute he walked in the door. Apparently Flair has been involved in a number of incidents in bars and hotels that have angered TNA management. Spike TV officials had also asked that Flair refrain from blading on TV and running around ‘near naked’ given his age.

Having been deprived of 90% of his gimmick, it’s no wonder Flair stopped showing up.


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TNA announced the signing of MMA star Mohammed ‘King Mo’ Lawal this week on (Jefferson) Impact. In an “unprecedented” move, Lawal will be dividing his time between professional wrestling with TNA and MMA with Bellator.

Dixie Clueless stated that never before in the history of pro-wrestling and MMA had someone been signed with the intention of being a 2 sport athlete.

~COUGH~ BOBBY LASHLEY! ~COUGH~


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Picture the scene: There are two guys or gals in the ring getting set to face off, the ring announcer does the big match intros then states “In this match there will be no disqualifications, no count-outs, no pinfalls and no submissions!”

Now imagine the look of utter confusion on the faces of the two participants as they go through the match trying to figure out how they’re supposed to win.

This needs to happen dammit. It’d be bigger than Wrestlemania!


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theundisputedY2D2

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Post by Dr Gregory House MD Tue 22 May - 17:30

TNA announced the signing of MMA star Mohammed ‘King Mo’ Lawal this week on (Jefferson) Impact. In an “unprecedented” move, Lawal will be dividing his time between professional wrestling with TNA and MMA with Bellator.
Dixie Clueless stated that never before in the history of pro-wrestling and MMA had someone been signed with the intention of being a 2 sport athlete.
~COUGH~ BOBBY LASHLEY! ~COUGH

I though Sir Mo had been given a promotion


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Post by Marky Tue 22 May - 22:08

Fantastic to see Random Thoughts return thumbsup

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Post by Samo Wed 23 May - 17:51

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:
Hulk Hogan tore up his list of demands. Because TNA can’t afford them.

Laugh

Samo

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Post by Zoot - Trevor Swann 6WF Thu 24 May - 9:40

Great to see Random Thoughts back had missed it. It updates me more thoroughly than WWE Experience on anything I might have missed in the world of wrestling.

Zoot - Trevor Swann 6WF

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Post by theundisputedY2D2 Fri 25 May - 10:25

Dr Gregory House MD wrote:
TNA announced the signing of MMA star Mohammed ‘King Mo’ Lawal this week on (Jefferson) Impact. In an “unprecedented” move, Lawal will be dividing his time between professional wrestling with TNA and MMA with Bellator.
Dixie Clueless stated that never before in the history of pro-wrestling and MMA had someone been signed with the intention of being a 2 sport athlete.
~COUGH~ BOBBY LASHLEY! ~COUGH

I though Sir Mo had been given a promotion



King Mabel's been overthrown?!?! Shocked


theundisputedY2D2

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