Random Thoughts.....

The following ‘Random Thoughts’ is brought to you in association with the Miz. Survivor Series buyrates not what you expected? Blame the Miz! R-Truth didn’t get caught after doing a flippy? Blame the Miz! Hurts when you pee? Blame the Miz! Because where there’s blame, there’s the Miz.


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John Cena finally embraced the hate on RAW this week.

I must have missed the bit where Eve changed her name to ‘The Hate’.


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I loved Kane hurling Zack Ryder off the stage in his wheelchair, it was all that’s good about professional wrestling. I’m only sorry that it might be their last interaction for a while, since Kane & Ryder will most likely take a backseat to the Rock after Elimination Chamber.

I hope they have one more run-in though because I think we can all agree that it would be epic if Kane fired Zack Ryder out of a cannon into the Titantron. Picture it: The Big Red Machine lights the fuse, Ryder flies out of the cannon, SPLAT! into the top of the Titantron then he slides down it with his face all smooshed.

That my friends is a pay-off.


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As for Kane’s whole ‘Embrace the Hate’ campaign I think it’s been flawed from the start. It should have been ‘Embrace the Hat’ whereby the Big Red Machine tried to get Cena to turn into Mr. Garrison from South Park and start walking around with Mr. Hat on his hand.

“What’s that Mr. Hat? You want me to kick Zack Ryder in the nuts? Then have wild animal sex with Eve? Oh no Mr. Hat, I can’t do that. Zack Ryder is my friend and he really likes Eve. What’s that? Oh alright Mr. Hat, if you say so!”

Cena with a glove puppet would rule.


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Shawn Michaels returned to RAW to try and get Triple H to accept the Undertaker’s challenge for Wrestlemania 28. I wish that when Shawn was telling the Game-uhh to look him in the (boss) eye that he’d been facing slightly to the right of Hunter.

“LOOK ME IN THE EYE!”

“I AM-UHH LOOKING YOU IN THE EYE-UHH!”

“Oh you’re over there”

“No Shawn-uhh, I’m over here-uhh”

“Oh..........”


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In the same segment we got the Undertaker looking at more footage of Wrestlemania 27, before cutting off his hair. Because NOTHING says “I want you to fight me” like cutting off your own hair.

Not really sure what kind of message Taker was trying to send here, surely if he’s trying to goad Triple H into a match at Wrestlemania 28 it would have made more sense for him to cut off Stephanie’s hair?

Then he could chokeslam Triple H’s babies. That ought to do it.


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Randy Orton botched an RKO on the Big Show. If you go back and watch it again and listen VERY CAREFULLY……

You can clearly hear Kofi Kingston shouting “Stupid! Stupid!” in the background.


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Remember when Jerry Lawler said about Earl Hebner “Earl lets his 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids”? I always hear that line in my head any time I see Daniel Bryan Danielson’s girlfriend AJ appear. Is she supposed to look that young? What’s next – pigtails and braces?

Actually, thinking about it, the last guy who should be making jokes about 12 year old girls is Jerry Lawler.


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Cody Rhodes hit the Big Show with a cracking line on Smackdown: “You’re like the reverse Undertaker. Who ya gonna lose to this year?”

WWE missed a trick here because once Rhodes had uttered that line Big Show should have started crying. Show crying is all kinds of win.

And for the record Cody, it’s Shaquille O’ Neal this year.


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Why does Randy Orton’s nickname ‘The Apex Predator’ always make me think of windows?


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Kevin Nash has been removed from the official WWE roster (Jesus wept). ‘Big Sexy Hair’ tweeted that CM Punk & John Cena had Wrestlemania taken care of, and that right now his 15 year old son needs a Dad more than WWE needs ‘Big Sexy Hair’.

Nah Kev, he doesn’t need you either.


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There’s a strong possibility that Shaquille O’ Neal will be involved in a match at Wrestlemania 28 against the Big Show. I hope it happens just so we get to see Shaq bodyslam Show.

Then he can go around for years afterwards claiming to have slammed the 967lb Big Show, who passed the torch to Shaq by allowing the former Laker to slam him shortly before Big Show died. All of this would have taken place in front of 376,000 fans, which is a record for the most people being anywhere ever.


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Bobby Roode and Bully Ray kicked off (Jefferson) Impact by talking about the guy they’ve both got a problem with. Was it James Storm? No. Jeff Hardy? No. Spaceman Frank Hickey? Yes. Actually no, it wasn’t. It was Sting.

Way to build up a pay per view main event TNA, have the participants more concerned with the special enforcer than their in-ring opponents. You’d never see WWE head into a pay per view where the champion is more concerned with a special referee / enforcer than he is with the Number 1 contender.

Never.


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As for Sting, I don’t really mind him being the GM of TNA, but I wish he’d stop flip-flopping between being a regular kind of GM and the ‘Insane Icon’. If he’s going to go the insane route, then he really has to embrace it, and act accordingly at all times.

With a genuinely insane GM, the possibilities are endless: Jeff Hardy as Knockouts champion. James Storm being forced to wrestle in every match on an episode of (Jefferson) Impact, including one against himself. Bobby Roode defending the TNA World title against a chair. Hulk Hogan in an Ultimate X match. Garett Bischoff versus So Cal Val in a 60 Day Iron Man Match. Stripping Dixie Carter of the title because she hasn’t defended it in 30 days. Jesse Sorensen being repackaged as a modern day Bruiser Brody. Austin Aries putting his X-Division championship on the line against this guy and that guy over there.

Full-blown insanity is clearly the way to go.


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As for Bully Ray - and Gunner for that matter - why does Mike Tenay still refer to them as “Immortal’s Bully Ray” and “Immortal’s Gunner”? Immortal haven’t done diddly squat (great wrestling name – “Hailing from Bummerville, California, weighing in at 350 pounds: Diddly Squat!”) in ages so should they not just let the group die a natural death? From the second Hulk Hogan turned babyface at Bound for Glory, Immortal should have quietly disbanded.

FFS does this mean they’ll start referring to Kurt Angle as “The Main Event Mafia’s Kurt Angle” or to Kazarian as “Serotonin’s Kazarian”? Remember Serotonin?

Nope, me neither.


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The most dominant force in the history of professional wrestling – Hulk Hogan and Garett Bischoff – came out for some promo time this week on (Jefferson) Impact. Hogan managed to contradict himself when he started off by saying he didn’t know what to expect from the UK fans when he made his return, then in the very next breath stating that he knew exactly what to expect from the UK fans.

He then shamelessly asked the crowd to get behind Garett Bischoff - which is the worst thing they could have done for Bischoff the younger - effectively saying “Please cheer for him! PLEEEEEEEASE!” It was pretty tragic. From what I’ve seen so far of Garett he might have the basics down but he’s more wooden than John Morrison and Dixie Carter’s love child.

The best thing TNA could do is ship Garett off to OVW to continue his training out of the spotlight and maybe let him hit the independent scene too. As it stands you just know that TNA are going to keep shoving him down our throats which will only lead to resentment and animosity from fans.

Then it won’t matter how much Hulk Hogan or Sting tell us what a great kid Garett is, or how much he loves the wrestling business, or that he donated a kidney to the Pope (not D’Angelo Dinero) or that he rescued a basket of kittens and puppies from a burning house, he’ll still be a greasy jackass.


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We were subjected to YET ANOTHER backstage brawl this past week, as Tara and Gail Kim embarked on a slugfest around Wembley Arena. The beat down ended when Gail threw Tara into a door, which rendered the #1 contender to the Knockouts title unconscious.

A door? A F**KING DOOR?!? Come on!

I’m throwing myself into a door as I write this and you don’t see me being knocked ou......

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.....

.....

Just kidding, I kicked that door’s ass.

Therefore; Y2D2 = Harder than Tara.


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Do you think that when TNA or WWE do those little puff pieces with fans that they deliberately choose the most brainless people they can find? That was all I could think of when watching (Jefferson) Impact this week.

“We love wrestling. Because we’ve always loved wrestling. And that’s why we love wrestling”.

“We love TNA because it makes us feel American”.

“We’re ‘ere on an ‘en do! I mean bachelorette party!”

They just make wrestling fans look like complete dumbasses. It’s almost as bad as “It’s still real to me dammit!”

Actually, I’d take one “It’s still real to me dammit!” over a thousand “We’re ‘ere on an ‘en do!” any day of the week.


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Why in the olden days did wrestling sometimes get literal with nicknames and not others? I mean Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts carried a snake to the ring. ‘The Birdman’ Koko B. Ware brought a bird with him to the ring. Yet when Jim Duggan and Greg Valentine trotted out there was no sign of a hacksaw or a hammer.

I have made it my mission for wrestling to get literal again. Therefore I will not rest until Randy Orton brings a viper out with him, Sheamus drags a shark out for his matches and Triple H charges to the ring carrying Kerplunk under his arm.


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This was funny !! hahaha


Blame the miz!

As for Sting, I don’t really mind him being the GM of TNA, but I wish he’d stop flip-flopping between being a regular kind of GM and the ‘Insane Icon’. If he’s going to go the insane route, then he really has to embrace it, and act accordingly at all times.

With a genuinely insane GM, the possibilities are endless: Jeff Hardy as Knockouts champion. James Storm being forced to wrestle in every match on an episode of (Jefferson) Impact, including one against himself. Bobby Roode defending the TNA World title against a chair. Hulk Hogan in an Ultimate X match. Garett Bischoff versus So Cal Val in a 60 Day Iron Man Match. Stripping Dixie Carter of the title because she hasn’t defended it in 30 days. Jesse Sorensen being repackaged as a modern day Bruiser Brody. Austin Aries putting his X-Division championship on the line against this guy and that guy over there.

Full-blown insanity is clearly the way to go.

Every week you always produce something that is all different kinds of awesome, this my friend is it, Hogan in an X-Division match brilliance

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:

The following ‘Random Thoughts’ is brought to you in association with the Miz. Survivor Series buyrates not what you expected? Blame the Miz! R-Truth didn’t get caught after doing a flippy? Blame the Miz! Hurts when you pee? Blame the Miz! Because where there’s blame, there’s the Miz.

LOL! Sounds like an advert for one of those ambulance chasing lawyers!

Shawn Michaels returned to RAW to try and get Triple H to accept the Undertaker’s challenge for Wrestlemania 28. I wish that when Shawn was telling the Game-uhh to look him in the (boss) eye that he’d been facing slightly to the right of Hunter.

“LOOK ME IN THE EYE!”

“I AM-UHH LOOKING YOU IN THE EYE-UHH!”

“Oh you’re over there”

“No Shawn-uhh, I’m over here-uhh”

“Oh..........”

I can actually picture this in my head!

Been reading these for a few weeks but this weeks was fantastic don't know how you manage to be so original each week.