Random Thoughts.....

The following ‘Random Thoughts’ is brought to you in association with ‘Quads R Us’, who are absolutely ecstatic that Triple H and Kevin Nash are feuding again.


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First off, a further note from last week’s RAW. I missed it first time around but was anybody else really disturbed by the Kevin Nash/Triple H segment? I’m not talking about Triple H’s broken heart, or his deformed ‘Kliq’ hand sign, or Nash’s two attacks on the Game-uhh with a sledgehammer, or Hunter’s fantastically hammy fall to the ground backstage.

I’m talking about Kevin Nash’s grunting.

When ‘Big Sexy Hair’ was trying to lift the HHH-laden back board, he let out a series of grunts, groans and moans that had me thinking for a second that I was listening to a 70’s porno. I swear if he’d said “Yeah, baby” or something about coming to fix Triple H’s fridge I would have thrown my shoe through the telly.


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Onto this week’s RAW, and - as expected - the Rock accepted John Cena’s invitation to be his tag team partner at Survivor Series. I could call them the Dream Team, but that would be an insult to Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake.

Then - as expected - John Cena beat up the two guys he supposedly needs a tag partner to defeat, rendering the match at Survivor Series pointless. Seriously, why bother having the match now? So Cena and the Rock can turn on each other? Umm, THEY’RE ALREADY FACING EACH OTHER AT WRESTLEMANIA 28 DUMBASSES!

I reckon that Vince has gone senile and forgotten that they booked the match a year in advance and no-one wants to call him on it.

“I know what we can do for Survivor Series! We’ll bring back the Rock! He’s been away for years! And we can have him team with John Cena!”

“Uh......sounds great Vince!”


“Then we can have them get into a fight! Setting up a match between them at.......”


“At.......?”


“WRESSSSSSSTLEMANIAAAAAAA!”

Confused looks amongst the creative team. One of them is about to say something when he’s abruptly cut off by the rest;

“Great idea Vince! We love it!”

“I know! Now somebody get me Yokozuna and Earthquake on the phone, I’ve got a TERRIFIC idea for those two!”


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WWE once again did a stellar job of making Alberto Del Rio seem worthy of being their champion. He jobbed clean to the Big Slow then got punked by Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin. Actually it was CM Punk. Could they not at least have let Del Rio get the win THEN done the Knockout punch / Anaconda Vice bitchification?

There hasn’t been a champion this weak since Lou Thesz was bed-ridden for 3 weeks with necrotizing fasciitis, and even then he managed to clamber out and go 60 minutes with Gene Kiniski. Del Rio couldn’t even go 5 minutes with Gene Okerlund at this point.


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Triple H is out for 5 weeks, meaning he’s conveniently able to return in time for Survivor Series. Meanwhile, Kevin Nash has been ‘re-signed’, meaning he’s conveniently able to job to Triple H at Survivor Series.

Don’t be surprised if Nash steamrolls through CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Cody Rhodes, Sheamus, Mark Henry, the Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, the Miz, R-Truth and Beth Phoenix over the next 5 weeks in order to ‘keep him strong’ for the match with Triple H.

Then when the time comes for him to return the favour to all those guys, he’ll be struck down with split ends, rendering him unable to get medical clearance to wrestle. Conveniently enough.


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I must admit to being confused when Christian said he was most respected man in the Smackdown locker room.

I always thought it was Tamina.


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Mark Henry = Ratings.

Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that one of the signs of the coming of the Apocalypse?


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I can’t wait for the day on RAW when there’s a tag team match in progress and Teddy Long comes strolling out and says that this match is now a TAG MATCH PLAYA! Then a stage hand will come along and whisper in Teddy’s ear that it’s already a tag match, which will cause a look of complete and utter confusion on T-Lo’s face before he shuffles sadly off the stage to the tune from the end of ‘The Incredible Hulk’ TV show.

Tell me you won’t have a tear in your eye when you see Teddy Long’s spirit being totally crushed.


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Heard about John Morrison’s latest t-shirt?

It’s in keeping with his current ‘JoMo Sapiens’ one, only this time the motto will be ‘JoMo Erectus’ and it’ll have a picture of a monkey with John Morrison’s head superimposed onto it furiously fapping on top of a wardrobe whilst Batista bangs Melina.

On the back will be the slogan: “We’re Gonna Watch You Do It!”

Get one quick because they’re gonna sell like friggin’ hotcakes.


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Speaking of t-shirts, Vince McMahon wasn’t happy with Zack Ryder’s latest shirt which contained the slogan ‘Take Care Spike Your Hair’. Vinnie Mac felt that people would associate it with Spike TV, which is the current home of their biggest rivals.

On a completely unrelated note, plans for WWE’s newest superstars Jefferson Impact, Freddy McTNA and Uriah F. Compton have been shelved.


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You’re kinda disappointed there’s not going to be a Jefferson Impact in WWE now aren’t you?


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Idea for the Diva’s division – Get them all wasted prior to each one of their matches. Remember how much fun it was to watch Jeff Hardy battle his t-shirt? Well imagine what crazy shenanigans a bunch of Divas will do if they’re whacked out on crystal meth.

Beth Phoenix trying to Glam Slam a ringpost = hilarious.

Kelly Kelly kicking out of pin attempts even though she’s standing up and there’s no one near her = side-splitting.

The Bellas freaking out because they forget they’re twins and think their mirror has come to life = awesometastic.

Do it Vince. DO IT!


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Know what I miss about the old days? When Gorilla Monsoon used to do commentary and say that such and such was something ‘personified’. The British Bulldog was ‘power personified’; Miss Elizabeth was ‘loveliness personified’ and so on.

I reckon they should bring that term back. Someone like Mason Ryan or Sheamus could be ‘strength personified’. Air Boom could be ‘agility personified’. Randy Orton could be ‘intensity personified’.

And John Morrison would be ‘wood personified’.


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We need to start petitioning the WWE to rehire the Mean Street Posse. The merchandise possibilities alone would be worth billions, let alone the boost to TV ratings and pay per view buyrates.

Tell me you wouldn’t want a ‘Pete Gas - Kick Ass!’ lunchbox.


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Want to know what Justin Gabriel requires to take it to the next level? He needs to reprise William Regal’s ‘Real Man’s Man’ gimmick. Think about it, Justin Gabriel coming to the ring wearing a hard hat, flannel shirt and jean shorts screams money. Add in a Titantron of him chopping wood and showing his strength by squeezing oranges, coupled with the best theme in the history of our great sport and you’ve got nothing but win.

It’s either that or reform the Truth Commission.

Altogether now: “He’s a maaaaaaaaaan..........such a maaaaaaan (such a man).......he’s reaaaaaal.....real man’s man”.


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Does anybody give a toss about Jeff Jarrett?

Didn’t think so.


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Christopher Daniels’ new thing is going around trying to stab people with a screwdriver. This is completely ridonkulous because if you want to get a weapon ‘over’, then at some point it’s going to have to be used as intended. Which in this case means that someone will have to get stabbed with a screwdriver.

Can’t wait for the episode of (Jefferson) Impact where AJ Styles comes staggering out to the ring with a screwdriver tucked underneath his armpit before collapsing whilst Mike Tenay screams “AJ’S BEEN STABBED! HE’S BEEN STABBED WITH THE SCREWDRIVER! WE’RE OUTTA TIME FOLKS! WE’RE OUTTA TI~”

Gripping stuff.


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TNA are doing a really good job of portraying Jeff Hardy as the repentant, humbled babyface looking for one last chance. There’s a vulnerability about Hardy anyway that makes the masses rally around him, and with the various vignettes and backstage segments TNA have managed to cast him as a truly sympathetic figure.

Which means he’ll turn heel next week.


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If Garrett Bischoff is going to become a wrestler - which seems to be where TNA are heading with all the removing of his shirt he’s doing - then he needs a haircut. He looks like a bad Elvis Presley impersonator. Unless his hair is hinting at the return of the most dominant and feared faction in the history of professional wrestling; The Flying Elvises! Jimmy Yang, Sonny Siaki & the other guy were bigger than the nWo in their pomp and if you add the power, speed, technical ability, charisma and tactical nous of Garrett Bischoff to the group then it’ll be like the Four Horsemen combined with the nWo combined with the Hart Foundation combined with Degeneration X combined with the Corre. The mind boggles.

Look out world, the Flying Elvises are coming!


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Speaking of Garrett Bischoff’s hair, I always though it was some kind of gel or cream he used to get it looking so slick. Turns out that it’s actually Ric Flair’s saliva which gives him that healthy sheen.

Man, Flair went to town on him with the spittle. I only wish that instead of pussying out with his “Sorry, I’m sorry Mr. Flair” schpiel he’d come back with “I asked for the news, not the weather!” You just know that would have thrown the NAITCHA F**KING BWAAAAH! for a loop.


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The Headbangers have reunited!

Yeah I didn’t give a sh*t when I heard about it either.

Lol nice one as per usual y2, that garrett bishoff should defo shave his head, he looks alot like callum best don't you think

LMAO i actually WAS disappointed there is no Jefferson Impact!

This is the highlight of the week for me every single week.
It beats the weekly Saturday night drunken fumble with the Mrs.

Do you tweet these?

On the note of the Screwdriver angle I did watch a match the other night on Youtube which had Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne) getting 'stabbed' in the leg with a screwdriver in a minor indy.

What? Jefferson Impact is not real? NOOOOOOO!

Surely any faction should be called Planet Garrett

Lex-Express wrote:Lol nice one as per usual y2, that garrett bishoff should defo shave his head, he looks alot like callum best don't you think

THAT'S who he looks like, been trying to figure that out for ages! Cheers Lex!

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Clunge4life wrote:LMAO i actually WAS disappointed there is no Jefferson Impact!

WWE needs Jefferson Impact!


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Hero wrote:This is the highlight of the week for me every single week.
It beats the weekly Saturday night drunken fumble with the Mrs.

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. Means a lot Hero. Thanks brother


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Adam D (Hobo) wrote:Do you tweet these?

Nope Hobo I ain't on Twitter, tis for the 606v2 brethren's viewing only.


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Hero wrote:On the note of the Screwdriver angle I did watch a match the other night on Youtube which had Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne) getting 'stabbed' in the leg with a screwdriver in a minor indy.

How did they pull that off Hero? Was it gloriously phony or did it look ok?


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Miz NG wrote:What? Jefferson Impact is not real? NOOOOOOO!

Jefferson Impact NEEDS to come to WWE, the outpouring of emotion since I broke the story that he's not in their plans any more is overwhelming. With your support Miz NG, as well as the rest of 606v2, we can make the dream a reality!


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Dr Gregory House MD wrote:Surely any faction should be called Planet Garrett

Only if he cuts that hair Doc, only if he cuts that hair.

Jeff Jarrett can reveal he had an affair with Eric's mrs and Garrett's old man is Jeff, then we can awesomely call him Garrett Jarrett

Then he could redo his new old man's WWF gimmick from 94-96 as Double Arrett

"that's G-A-double R-E-double T J-A-double R-E-double T....Garrett Jarrett"

the-gaffer wrote:Jeff Jarrett can reveal he had an affair with Eric's mrs and Garrett's old man is Jeff, then we can awesomely call him Garrett Jarrett

Then he could redo his new old man's WWF gimmick from 94-96 as Double Arrett

"that's G-A-double R-E-double T J-A-double R-E-double T....Garrett Jarrett"

And if Garrett Jarrett married the former leader of the Nexus he'd be Garrett Jarrett-Barrett.

That's a name that'll sell some t-shirts.

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:

the-gaffer wrote:Jeff Jarrett can reveal he had an affair with Eric's mrs and Garrett's old man is Jeff, then we can awesomely call him Garrett Jarrett

Then he could redo his new old man's WWF gimmick from 94-96 as Double Arrett

"that's G-A-double R-E-double T J-A-double R-E-double T....Garrett Jarrett"

And if Garrett Jarrett married the former leader of the Nexus he'd be Garrett Jarrett-Barrett.

That's a name that'll sell some t-shirts.

All he'd need then is a British comedian as his tag team partner with a WWE Hall of Famer in their corner and you'd have:

Garrett Jarrett-Barrett and Jasper Carrott with Koko B-Ware and his Parrott.

O.................K You've take that to far H.......to far

You know that everyone reading this is currently going through the alphabet to think of other words that rhyme with Jarrett.

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:

the-gaffer wrote:Jeff Jarrett can reveal he had an affair with Eric's mrs and Garrett's old man is Jeff, then we can awesomely call him Garrett Jarrett

Then he could redo his new old man's WWF gimmick from 94-96 as Double Arrett

"that's G-A-double R-E-double T J-A-double R-E-double T....Garrett Jarrett"

And if Garrett Jarrett married the former leader of the Nexus he'd be Garrett Jarrett-Barrett.

That's a name that'll sell some t-shirts.

And because of Garrett's and Wade's homosexual relationship, they would not be able to have children. So they decide to get a pet which they would bring up like their own child. They wanted it to be a good talker and colourful, hoping one day it would follow its father's footsteps into the wrestling business. They incorperated both of the proud parents names, but they were stuck to what to call it. In the end, they plumped for.....

Parrot Garrett Jarrett-Barrett

I can just imagine JR calling it now

By Gawd King the Carnage, the Carnage!

Garrett Jarrett-Barrett and Jasper Carrott even the Parrott! all covered in Claret, didnt see this in the tarot!

By Gawd! Skittles there fruity

Jefferson Impact NEEDS to come to WWE, the outpouring of emotion since I broke the story that he's not in their plans any more is overwhelming. With your support Miz NG, as well as the rest of 606v2, we can make the dream a reality!

You have my full support. We should start a Jefferson Impact fan club!