Friday Fun - "He said what?!"

First topic message reminder :

Happy Friday everyone!

With the weekend just around the corner we thought it would be good to have some Friday fun and go daft for the day.

Basically all you need to post are "Things you would never hear a sports commentator say"

Over to you..............

" A sea of union flags on display here at Celtic park"

" How Ronaldo stayed on his feet in the penalty area I'll never know"

"and now back to the scrumv studio for an honest assesment of Wales controversial loss to England"

And here we are in the Women's football World Cup final, England vs Iran...oh and what a save by the Iranian Keeper Zomorrod Soleimani...I haven't seen a Muslim woman being shot at like that since the Taliban occupation of Afganistan

And Monty taps in to win his first major...at last the monkey off his back (A shame but alas true now)

........and I'm sure the Manchester United fans will extend a warm welcome to todays the pre season friendly opponents... Rangers

..... and for once Londonjohnnyo is lost for words....

Alan Shearer " I'm delighted to announce Graig Bellamy as my co manager here at Darlington"

" A standing ovation for Shawcross at the Emirates"

" So, Sue Barker. How do you rate Murrays chances this Wimbledon?" SB. "who?"

"That Women's Boxing Olympic Final was absolutely fantastic, I tell you what, those women sure can take a beating... Makes me think, maybe I should marry one of them"

Well that was an amazing and enthralling end to the national tiddlywnks championship

At four nill and with just 2 minutes of injury time left, it seems inevitable that Phil Jones will lift this 2018 World Cup for England, that's now 62 games unbeaten, 2 Euro Championships and a World Cup for Englands greatest tactical manager ever...I give you, Sam Allardyce.

"dont you think sepp blather, sounds like a german saying step ladder." (mock the week)

hamilton- "it was my fault"

"well germany may have beaten england but we all know who won the war"

"the women ref is doing a fabulous job"

"what a lovely piece of tackling by ronan o gara, McCaw had no chance"

Welshy

Come on now - even for a spoof, O'Gara making a tackle is stretching belief too far

......well can you believe it, an English golfer finally wins a major thirty four years after Lord Faldo.

"Ronan O'Gara, was spotted out and about today.Apparently Cork City council were shout on Speedbumps and gave him a call"

I always thought that the Scots won the war.

i got a bit carried away =/

Doon the Water wrote:I always thought that the Scots won the war.

Might have won the battle but not the war - see the films

Braveheart - Mel Gibson

The one with Liam Nesson in it

Bonny Prince Charlie - David Niven (an Englishman!) javascript:emoticonp('')

"Wayne Barnes blows his whistle and signals a penalty to the All Blacks,"

Niven was Scots.

It's just that he didn't speak like Chic Murray.

PS
The Commandos and SAS were both started by Scotsmen looking for a fight.

"Breaking news just reaching us......And its just been confirmed, Manny will fight Floyd"

(Sorry, but I couldn't resist that one)

" Goal for West Ham ! "

and it's mohammed amir bowling a clean ball

Audley left everything he had in that ring tonight. He'll have a sore head tomorrow but will go to bed tonight knowing he is the greatest ever boxer never to win a world title...what a warrior.

It's good to see Tiger Woods back and focused on banging all those high end escorts, without any of those on the course distractions of actually playing golf.

Despite ditching their poker school for book club the England football team are still looking as insipid as ever.

And it's Alex Bogdanovic having a triple match point ...

Andy Murray wins wimbledon!

Chelsea win the champions league !

OMG Ric Flair has retired!

..that's why Gary Neville is universally loved.

"well Manu tuilagi was just doing what every person here wanted to see."

"still standing with 3 punches to the head, chris ashton you must have a large gap between the ears"

english commentator-"chris ashton is actually rubbish"

The roofs broken, its still raining, its Monday 8:00pm and Nadal and Federer still haven't played the final.....so they have both decided..."Its Handbags at Midnight"

I'm betting on Federers Mr Mean Guy look, but Nadal's Nicker-Tweaking may put Roger off his stroke, but the winner will be who can keep running round their BH all night the longest.

The Canadians are the most boring "race" on Earth.

No, they really are.

"Mahut vs Isner part2 is the quickest match in Wimbledon history"

for any Bristol City fans - 'and a flawless display of tackling from Lee Johnson today!'

'And here we have the England cricket team, all of who were of course born in England'

'And here we see David Beckham captaining the 2032 GB olympic football team'