What should I wear to the gym?

I’ve been doing home work-outs for about 3-4 years now but it’s becoming quite difficult as my cat keeps attacking me when I do push-ups or pullovers.  I’ve decided to join the gym down the road but am a bit stuck as to what to wear.  It should be something tight to make my knob look bigger but all I’ve got is some shiny shorts that are so small they give me a boner whenever I move.  I’ve tried using a leotard like wrestlers do but whenever I lift weights above my head my balls pop out on either side of the wedgie strip and hang like when you shove grapefruits into stockings to suspend them.   Is there any place I can get cheap clothes as I don’t really fancy wearing my jeans?

Thanking you in anticipation.

Just wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants G-Dog. Your kind don't normally last long enough for this to matter

Galted wrote:I’ve been doing home work-outs for about 3-4 years now but it’s becoming quite difficult as my cat keeps attacking me when I do push-ups or pullovers.  I’ve decided to join the gym down the road but am a bit stuck as to what to wear.  It should be something tight to make my knob look bigger but all I’ve got is some shiny shorts that are so small they give me a boner whenever I move.  I’ve tried using a leotard like wrestlers do but whenever I lift weights above my head my balls pop out on either side of the wedgie strip and hang like when you shove grapefruits into stockings to suspend them.   Is there any place I can get cheap clothes as I don’t really fancy wearing my jeans?

Thanking you in anticipation.

Problem? Surely making your knob look bigger & getting a boner go hand in hand?

kingraf wrote:Just wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants G-Dog. Your kind don't normally last long enough for this to matter

Thanks, sensible advice, raf albeit slightly disappointing.  Sweatpants just make my sack look bigger, not my knob.  In fact, I'm starting to doubt whether you are really a king.

sohotnot wrote:

Galted wrote:I’ve been doing home work-outs for about 3-4 years now but it’s becoming quite difficult as my cat keeps attacking me when I do push-ups or pullovers.  I’ve decided to join the gym down the road but am a bit stuck as to what to wear.  It should be something tight to make my knob look bigger but all I’ve got is some shiny shorts that are so small they give me a boner whenever I move.  I’ve tried using a leotard like wrestlers do but whenever I lift weights above my head my balls pop out on either side of the wedgie strip and hang like when you shove grapefruits into stockings to suspend them.   Is there any place I can get cheap clothes as I don’t really fancy wearing my jeans?

Thanking you in anticipation.

Problem? Surely making your knob look bigger & getting a boner go hand in hand?

Thanks for providing 50% of the responses, sohotnot, but I wanted flaccid knob-size as it's hard (no pun intented) to concentrate when it's sticking upward.

Yeah understand, sorry I couldn't be more help.

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:Just wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants G-Dog. Your kind don't normally last long enough for this to matter

Thanks, sensible advice, raf albeit slightly disappointing.  Sweatpants just make my sack look bigger, not my knob.  In fact, I'm starting to doubt whether you are really a king.

My advice is don't go the gym....Stay at home with your cats...

sohotnot wrote:Yeah understand, sorry I couldn't be more help.

No worries, thanks for taking the time to reply.

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:Just wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants G-Dog. Your kind don't normally last long enough for this to matter

Thanks, sensible advice, raf albeit slightly disappointing.  Sweatpants just make my sack look bigger, not my knob.  In fact, I'm starting to doubt whether you are really a king.

My advice is don't go the gym....Stay at home with your cats...

The cat is the problem though, Truss. If she wasn't so fierce I could torture myself in peace but it's not easy lifting anything when your wrists are bleeding.

Galted wrote:

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

Galted wrote:

kingraf wrote:Just wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants G-Dog. Your kind don't normally last long enough for this to matter

Thanks, sensible advice, raf albeit slightly disappointing.  Sweatpants just make my sack look bigger, not my knob.  In fact, I'm starting to doubt whether you are really a king.

My advice is don't go the gym....Stay at home with your cats...

The cat is the problem though, Truss.  If she wasn't so fierce I could torture myself in peace but it's not easy lifting anything when your wrists are bleeding.

Being a weakling probably doesn't help much either.

My advice would be to get rid of the cat. They are pointless creatures. Give you no love, Poopie in a box inside your house and are just generally irritating.

I've told him this for a year now. Cats are vile creatures

@ Marco_Marky - Stuffington
Your points regarding cats are valid but it's worth having one just to watch it sh1t in a box inside your house or to hate pigeons through the window as these are two of nature's greatest spectacles.

@ kingraf
You are correct.  Your arguments are always well-presented and watertight and the cat in question is not only vile but devious.

However, we are digressing from the main thrust of the thread, which is suitable gymwear.  The thread is not just for myself, but for the many thousands of potential gymers who require clothing which makes their knobs look larger. I'm not suggesting for a moment that these thousands have little knobs or that it matters, but there is something satisfying about a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex if you prefer it that way) looking at your crotch and thinking "cor, he's got a large one" and clothing that is loose around the crotch or does nothing to enhance the appearance of one's tummy sausage is quite emasculating which cannot be healthy in such a testosterone-fuelled environment as the gymnasium.

Wear skinny sweatpants then. They hug the body, so will expose if you have a large knob. They will however, not enhance the look of it, if it's small.

Cycling shorts with no underpants, should please the blokes  at your YMCA.

kingraf wrote:Wear skinny sweatpants then. They hug the body, so will expose if you have a large knob. They will however, not enhance the look of it, if it's small.

You pull it off well

Spoiler:

Given all these people at the gym cheat by taking drugs anyway (proven fact with no need to provide evidence let's just move on shall we?) why don't YOU cheat by wrapping you hampton in a facecloth (clean or dirty, your choice) before pulling on your sweat pants?

Chances are these people at the gym will be far too narcissistic to even notice the effort you've made or will start dribbling on about the best way to get a "pump" and admiring themselves in the chrome of the barbells.

The second paragraph is undeniably correct.

DAVE667 wrote:Given all these people at the gym cheat by taking drugs anyway (proven fact with no need to provide evidence let's just move on shall we?) why don't YOU cheat by wrapping you hampton in a facecloth (clean or dirty, your choice) before pulling on your sweat pants?

Chances are these people at the gym will be far too narcissistic to even notice the effort you've made or will start dribbling on about the best way to get a "pump" and admiring themselves in the chrome of the barbells.

You're no doubt one of these people who sees a good physique and mutters steroids.............

You haven't got what it takes to improve your body so you mock others........

Loser talk...

OP- have you considered wearing an athletic cup?

I hadn't, incontinentia. Looks like it might solve one problem but create another as I suspect groin-chafe might be rampant.

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Given all these people at the gym cheat by taking drugs anyway (proven fact with no need to provide evidence let's just move on shall we?) why don't YOU cheat by wrapping you hampton in a facecloth (clean or dirty, your choice) before pulling on your sweat pants?

Chances are these people at the gym will be far too narcissistic to even notice the effort you've made or will start dribbling on about the best way to get a "pump" and admiring themselves in the chrome of the barbells.

You're no doubt one of these people who sees a good physique and mutters steroids.............

You haven't got what it takes to improve your body so you mock others........

Loser talk...

You have no idea what I mutter about gym rats, I paint with a very broad brush for the sake of a cheap laugh....however, just to put your steroid-addled mind (and balls) at ease, I have no issue with anyone going to the gym or subsequently showing off their physique on the beach or wherever they choose to do so. They've put the effort in so good luck to them if they want to show off the results. Difference is that whereas I don't judge people for going to the gym, you tend to judge people for NOT going to the gym as if being able to lift heavy things a large number of times is somehow an indicator that they're better than another person. Point in case was STEFFAN showing off his new tattoo on here a while back. You're comment was something like, "I can tell by the pic that you've never been to a gym in your life!" It's sad on an epic level TRUSSY. Would it have made his tattoo any better if his arms were three inches bigger? Big deal if someone can squat, bench, row a certain amount of poundage...doesn't stop them being a ****. Before you get all defensive, In my 20's I used to go to a local gym and had a six pack...now I'm in my forties, I no longer have a six pack or go to the gym and I'm no more or less of a c*nt now that I was back then.

Shame you're so insecure that you have to validate your existence by believing that a person is defined by the size of their biceps as opposed to the warmth in their soul.

I love you dearly TRUSSNUTS but the gym isn't the be all and end all.

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

DAVE667 wrote:

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

A new pair of Hi-Tecs, still in the crinkly wrapping in the box are c0ck enhancers themselves, not quite TDMR-level but easily Mila Kunis-level.

DAVE667 wrote:

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Given all these people at the gym cheat by taking drugs anyway (proven fact with no need to provide evidence let's just move on shall we?) why don't YOU cheat by wrapping you hampton in a facecloth (clean or dirty, your choice) before pulling on your sweat pants?

Chances are these people at the gym will be far too narcissistic to even notice the effort you've made or will start dribbling on about the best way to get a "pump" and admiring themselves in the chrome of the barbells.

You're no doubt one of these people who sees a good physique and mutters steroids.............

You haven't got what it takes to improve your body so you mock others........

Loser talk...

You have no idea what I mutter about gym rats, I paint with a very broad brush for the sake of a cheap laugh....however, just to put your steroid-addled mind (and balls) at ease, I have no issue with anyone going to the gym or subsequently showing off their physique on the beach or wherever they choose to do so. They've put the effort in so good luck to them if they want to show off the results.  Difference is that whereas I don't judge people for going to the gym, you tend to judge people for NOT going to the gym as if being able to lift heavy things a large number of times is somehow an indicator that they're better than another person.  Point in case was STEFFAN showing off his new tattoo on here a while back. You're comment was something like, "I can tell by the pic that you've never been to a gym in your life!" It's sad on an epic level TRUSSY. Would it have made his tattoo any better if his arms were three inches bigger?  Big deal if someone can squat, bench, row a certain amount of poundage...doesn't stop them being a ****. Before you get all defensive, In my 20's I used to go to a local gym and had a six pack...now I'm in my forties, I no longer have a six pack or go to the gym and I'm no more or less of a c*nt now that I was back then.

Shame you're so insecure that you have to validate your existence by believing that a person is defined by the size of their biceps as opposed to the warmth in their soul.

I love you dearly TRUSSNUTS but the gym isn't the be all and end all.

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

Must have hit a nerve..

Galted wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

A new pair of Hi-Tecs, still in the crinkly wrapping in the box are c0ck enhancers themselves, not quite TDMR-level but easily Mila Kunis-level.

Wearing a pair of sh!t trainers does not make the rest of you more attractive by default...if anything, it merely highlights your inadequacies almost as much as not being able to lift heavy things makes you a bad person apparently.

What you could do is lift a few weights then go to the toilet and strip naked in front of the mirror, the sight of your physique will undoubtedly arouse you (these gym rat LOVE looking at themselves) and once you've got an erection, quickly whip off your Hi-Tec trainers and remove the laces (throw the f*cking trainers in the bin or burn them, I don't care, just get rid of them, they have no further part in this). Wrap the laces around the base of your engorged hampton and pull tight enough to restrict the blood flow back out of it but not enough to choke it to death (you're enhancing your genitals not strangling your piles).

After another five minutes of admiring yourself, reluctantly get dressed then go back to the gym and allow everyone to see what you're packing.

Word to the wise, once you've wrapped the laces round, cut off any excess lace because if you're wearing shorts and the laces protrude out the bottom, it could look like you've inserted a tampon into yourself

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Given all these people at the gym cheat by taking drugs anyway (proven fact with no need to provide evidence let's just move on shall we?) why don't YOU cheat by wrapping you hampton in a facecloth (clean or dirty, your choice) before pulling on your sweat pants?

Chances are these people at the gym will be far too narcissistic to even notice the effort you've made or will start dribbling on about the best way to get a "pump" and admiring themselves in the chrome of the barbells.

You're no doubt one of these people who sees a good physique and mutters steroids.............

You haven't got what it takes to improve your body so you mock others........

Loser talk...

You have no idea what I mutter about gym rats, I paint with a very broad brush for the sake of a cheap laugh....however, just to put your steroid-addled mind (and balls) at ease, I have no issue with anyone going to the gym or subsequently showing off their physique on the beach or wherever they choose to do so. They've put the effort in so good luck to them if they want to show off the results.  Difference is that whereas I don't judge people for going to the gym, you tend to judge people for NOT going to the gym as if being able to lift heavy things a large number of times is somehow an indicator that they're better than another person.  Point in case was STEFFAN showing off his new tattoo on here a while back. You're comment was something like, "I can tell by the pic that you've never been to a gym in your life!" It's sad on an epic level TRUSSY. Would it have made his tattoo any better if his arms were three inches bigger?  Big deal if someone can squat, bench, row a certain amount of poundage...doesn't stop them being a ****. Before you get all defensive, In my 20's I used to go to a local gym and had a six pack...now I'm in my forties, I no longer have a six pack or go to the gym and I'm no more or less of a c*nt now that I was back then.

Shame you're so insecure that you have to validate your existence by believing that a person is defined by the size of their biceps as opposed to the warmth in their soul.

I love you dearly TRUSSNUTS but the gym isn't the be all and end all.

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

Must have hit a nerve..

No, I just think you must be a sad deluded b*st*rd if you believe going to the gym is any indicator of a person's worth.

DAVE667 wrote:

Galted wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

A new pair of Hi-Tecs, still in the crinkly wrapping in the box are c0ck enhancers themselves, not quite TDMR-level but easily Mila Kunis-level.

Wearing a pair of sh!t trainers does not make the rest of you more attractive by default...if anything, it merely highlights your inadequacies almost as much as not being able to lift heavy things makes you a bad person apparently.

What you could do is lift a few weights then go to the toilet and strip naked in front of the mirror, the sight of your physique will undoubtedly arouse you (these gym rat LOVE looking at themselves) and once you've got an erection, quickly whip off your Hi-Tec trainers and remove the laces (throw the f*cking trainers in the bin or burn them, I don't care, just get rid of them, they have no further part in this). Wrap the laces around the base of your engorged hampton and pull tight enough to restrict the blood flow back out of it but not enough to choke it to death (you're enhancing your genitals not strangling your piles).

After another five minutes of admiring yourself, reluctantly get dressed then go back to the gym and allow everyone to see what you're packing.

Word to the wise, once you've wrapped the laces round, cut off any excess lace because if you're wearing shorts and the laces protrude out the bottom, it could look like you've inserted a tampon into yourself

So when do I inject the steroids?

DAVE667 wrote:

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Given all these people at the gym cheat by taking drugs anyway (proven fact with no need to provide evidence let's just move on shall we?) why don't YOU cheat by wrapping you hampton in a facecloth (clean or dirty, your choice) before pulling on your sweat pants?

Chances are these people at the gym will be far too narcissistic to even notice the effort you've made or will start dribbling on about the best way to get a "pump" and admiring themselves in the chrome of the barbells.

You're no doubt one of these people who sees a good physique and mutters steroids.............

You haven't got what it takes to improve your body so you mock others........

Loser talk...

You have no idea what I mutter about gym rats, I paint with a very broad brush for the sake of a cheap laugh....however, just to put your steroid-addled mind (and balls) at ease, I have no issue with anyone going to the gym or subsequently showing off their physique on the beach or wherever they choose to do so. They've put the effort in so good luck to them if they want to show off the results.  Difference is that whereas I don't judge people for going to the gym, you tend to judge people for NOT going to the gym as if being able to lift heavy things a large number of times is somehow an indicator that they're better than another person.  Point in case was STEFFAN showing off his new tattoo on here a while back. You're comment was something like, "I can tell by the pic that you've never been to a gym in your life!" It's sad on an epic level TRUSSY. Would it have made his tattoo any better if his arms were three inches bigger?  Big deal if someone can squat, bench, row a certain amount of poundage...doesn't stop them being a ****. Before you get all defensive, In my 20's I used to go to a local gym and had a six pack...now I'm in my forties, I no longer have a six pack or go to the gym and I'm no more or less of a c*nt now that I was back then.

Shame you're so insecure that you have to validate your existence by believing that a person is defined by the size of their biceps as opposed to the warmth in their soul.

I love you dearly TRUSSNUTS but the gym isn't the be all and end all.

GALTED, have you checked to see if Hi-Tec do a line in gymwear/c*ck enhancers?

Must have hit a nerve..

No, I just think you must be a sad deluded b*st*rd if you believe going to the gym is any indicator of a person's worth.

I've never thought that............

We both know you have no intention of going to the gym Galted.........

But I have written an article on steroids lower down the page......If you need anymore advice......... Pm someone else..

This thread sums up a lot of gym goers sadly, instead of encouraging people for walking through the door, they belittle them. The amount of people I've spoken to who, that have stopped going to the gym because of comments they've heard there is shocking.

The old guy who owned the dungeon gym I went to in my hardcore days used to have a glint in his eye when a new guy walked into the gym. He would sit on the leg curl machine in the centre of the room and direct the poor bast.ard around the gym trying to kill him in the process. "Face the machine and sit.......no no no I said face the machine....your back is to the machine.......raise your arms above your head and grab the bar........no no no you must stand up to grab the bar........place your legs under the restraint and pull the bar down to the back of your neck." This would go on for an hour an and a half with everybody in the gym in stitches. A rival gym used to teach people to do pullovers with a barbell. As soon as he saw a noob doing this exercise he went to town on him. Not very nice but very funny.

Galted has no ambition of joining a gym. Neither does SERIALDave. It's just goodish natured ribbing

Strongback wrote:The old guy who owned the dungeon gym I went to in my hardcore days used to have a glint in his eye when a new guy walked into the gym.  He would sit on the leg curl machine in the centre of the room and direct the poor bast.ard around the gym trying to kill him in the process.  "Face the machine and sit.......no no no I said face the machine....your back is to the machine.......raise your arms above your head and grab the bar........no no no you must stand up to grab the bar........place your legs under the restraint and pull the bar down to the back of your neck."  This would go on for an hour an and a half with everybody in the gym in stitches.  A rival gym used to teach people to do pullovers with a barbell.  As soon as he saw a noob doing this exercise he went to town on him.  Not very nice but very funny.

You've never been to a gym...........

Natural 16 year olds don't Squat 400 for reps............

PaulHv2 wrote:This thread sums up a lot of gym goers sadly, instead of encouraging people for walking through the door, they belittle them. The amount of people I've spoken to who, that have stopped going to the gym because of comments they've heard there is shocking.

Really? Sad to hear that, not sure how common this is as its never happened to me or anybody I know, but to be honest I haven't had that many friends that regularly went to the gym. Been to a couple of fairly hardcore gyms and have always found people to be pretty helpful & supportive.

Because some people feel inferior they buy into...The big guy is cocky and arrogant theory.... False stereotyping!!....Probably makes them feel better..

Amount of times I've heard steroids spoken just loud enough for me to hear when I've walked past someone...

Sadly it's mainly smaller types doing the goading....After all it takes a lot of discipline to build a good body..

Anybody wants a spot or advice I'm always happy to oblige regardless of their progression..

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Because some people feel inferior they buy into...The big guy is cocky and arrogant theory.... False stereotyping!!....Probably makes them feel better..

Amount of times I've heard steroids spoken just loud enough for me to hear when I've walked past someone...

Sadly it's mainly smaller types doing the goading....After all it takes a lot of discipline to build a good body..

Anybody wants a spot or advice I'm always happy to oblige regardless of their progression..

And said someone adds "I'd be his size if I took them"

sohotnot wrote:

PaulHv2 wrote:This thread sums up a lot of gym goers sadly, instead of encouraging people for walking through the door, they belittle them. The amount of people I've spoken to who, that have stopped going to the gym because of comments they've heard there is shocking.

Really? Sad to hear that, not sure how common this is as its never happened to me or anybody I know, but to be honest I haven't had that many friends that regularly went to the gym. Been to a couple of fairly hardcore gyms and have always found people to be pretty helpful & supportive.

Mate of mine started getting into his fitness thing a few years ago. he did circuit training for a while, he was doing jui jitsu (got to brown belt - kept putting me in wrist locks "for a laugh"...it wasn't) He never really had the kind of physique that looked "cut" despite what he did. He joined a gym hoping to bulk up and said that the people there were the biggest set of w*nkers he's ever met (despite having me as a mate). One bloke just shouted over at him "Put some f*cking weight on it, (the bar) you poof!"

Nah, bollox to the lot....lift weights, don't lift weights...makes no difference to me.

I don't go to the gym, as I am already charming, erudite, handsome and possessing a rapier wit it really would not be fair for me to also have the perfect physique. I have to level the playing field somehow.

Rowley wrote:I don't go to the gym, as I am already charming, erudite, handsome and possessing a rapier wit it really would not be fair for me to also have the perfect physique. I have to level the playing field somehow.

Usually you lie down and roll on it.

The gym is no different from other places. If you're in piano class, and you play do-re-mi and look pretty chuffed with yourself... The guy's playing Beethoven's Fifth might just have something to say about you being chuffed.

Personally, I love lifting. It's calming, adds balance to my life. Don't lift as much as I want to, as I'm currently rehabbing my back. Have a couple guys ribbed me for losing 30lbs? Sure, but it's in good fun. Once I get my stabilisers back to where they should be, I will reign supreme!!

To be honest i'm not a gym rat..............Tend to do my stuff and walk out generally with as little contact with anybody else at all..........1 hour tops in the gym...

Like to stay in my zone.........

However If anyone wants advice or a spot i'll oblige..........But I won't seek conversation...

I love the gym, but I am more into the powerlifitng side of things.

If I have a good physique, happy days but it isn't the be all.

I just try to get stronger and add more weight to the bar.

I am very approachable for anyone to ask questions. I can be a d..k on forums but I would like to think I am a helpful in real life.

There are a lot of d.ks that go to the gym and look down on people. I just ignore these people, I find they usually know little anyway.