Dyson's cavalier with the rules, reports internet forum

[MontysMerkin]

Renowned and incredibly important and knowledgeable and self proclaimed golf legend, Mr Monty Merkin proclaimed Simon Dyson to be a cheating Kumquat today after the blond haired Muppet blatently cheated while playing some golf. Mr Merkin is thought to be driven to the point of suicide by the fact that such a blonde haired chap could stoop so low.

"I think its a Frak disgrace and if see that blonde Muppet I will boot the arsehat right in the danglies." Mr Merkin was overheard to exclaim to his posse of beautiful hangers on.

[Bob_the_Job]

Have a Snickers

[gaelgowfer]

Well, he certainly "blatantly" broke the rules but unless he has 'previous', I think this was down to a brain fart pure and simple.  Usually when golfers cheat, they are a bit more subtle and devious about it.  There was nothing devious or subtle about this particular incident.  Dyson has a very jittery, nervous type of personality and, given the state of the game, I think he was caught out by the sheer intensity of the moment.  Given what he has lost, I think disqualification is more than sufficient punishment.

I seem to recall the rules people permitting the tapping down of spike marks etc. which seemed both eminently fair and sensible ... level playing field and all that.  However, 'they' subsequently withdrew it.  Can't remember the reason.  Perhaps pace of play?  If so, methinks Dyson's fellow professionals protesteth too much.

[ScottieD18]

The video evidence looks bad for Dyson. No golfer does that without knowing what he is doing. Would Tiger have found a way to stay in the competition?

[McLaren]

Dyson Cheating:

He does it so quickly you have to assume it was a "brain fart".

I assume it was deemed spike damage and not damage from a ball impacting the green?

Another stupid golf rule, as what difference does it make?

[super_realist]

I agree Mac, if you can repair a pitchmark, why not a spike mark.

So many stupid rules in golf.

[gaelgowfer]

s_r ... but that's just it; the governing bodies did change the rules to allow the tapping down of spike marks etc but if memory serves, :roll:withdrew it because it slowed the pros down even more.

[super_realist]

Ridiculous eh Gael.
In my experience the real cause of slow play in golf is how slowly people walk, it's like they are going to the gallows, also not being ready to play. We play ready golf all the time, and I line up my putts long before the pin is even out.

[navyblueshorts]

So Mac, Dyson does this and it's 'cheating' whereas when it's Woods you give him the benefit?? Come on, you're so biased it's a joke.

S_R/Mac

Why not a spike mark? Obvious. How does one tell if it really is a spike mark? A pitch mark is obvious, or has been deemed to be so. It's the same reason you play as it lies in a divot i.e. it's not always obvious that it's a divot therefore you play as it lies. Far easier to police.

[gaelgowfer]

Ridiculous eh Gael.  
In my experience the real cause of slow play in golf is how slowly people walk, it's like they are going to the gallows, also not being ready to play. We play ready golf all the time, and I line up my putts long before the pin is even out.

I'm afraid the days of which club a golfer is going to play for his next shot before he reaches his ball are long gone ... more's the pity.

[super_realist]

I don't see there being any harm in tapping down a spike mark.

[gaelgowfer]

Under the rule which the governing bodies introduced and then subsequently withdrew, any imperfection could be tapped down.

[super_realist]

That's the problem with golf Gael, golfers

[MontysMerkin]

Think the haircut alone is worth a 2 shot penalty.
What happened to the good old days?
      

[McLaren]

Navy

Please re-read my post. I clearly said it was a brain fart. As in, he made a mistake without really thinking about it. Pretty much what I said about tigers drop at the masters.

[kwinigolfer]

Mac
Dyson knew the rule and broke it, presumably absent-mindedly.
Woods didn't know the rule and sought to gain maximum advantage from what he thought was the rule.

Both innocent most likely, but different. Golfers have a responsibility to learn the rules, especially pros.

[MontysMerkin]

Just watched the vid and it looked intentional to me.
I thought he had tapped it down with his putter, but by using his ball I bet he thought he'd get away with it. I am sickened and am going to seriously reassess my future in the sport pastime. Also am going to start claiming he has some sort of fictional affliction. Think I'm going for club foot dyson, or blondy club foot for short. Bar Steward.

[super_realist]

Is there anything to stop you walking over your line to knock down a spike mark "inadvertently"?

[MontysMerkin]

Would love to see the results of shane lowry doing that - more harm than good? Could result in a lost ball!

[McLaren]

Mac
Dyson knew the rule and broke it, presumably absent-mindedly.
Woods didn't know the rule and sought to gain maximum advantage from what he thought was the rule.

Both innocent most likely, but different. Golfers have a responsibility to learn the rules, especially pros.

Navy seemed to suggest I had held an inconsistent level of leniency between tiger and dysons infringements. Which is clearly not the case as I dont think either of them tried to cheat. As I said.

[MontysMerkin]

Think it just highlights how different golfers are held to different standards. Trying to imagine the furore on here if baldy nine chins had done what blondy club foot has done.

[Davie]

Mac - that's twice today on separate threads you'd stated "I clearly said..." ... maybe you're not as clear as you think you are

[super_realist]

He's probably a bit sleepy doing the night shift at the petrol station.

[McLaren]

Mac - that's twice today on separate threads you'd stated "I clearly said..." ... maybe you're not as clear as you think you are

Bloody hell, someone is checking up on me. Does anyone else find this a little odd?

[Davie]

Not checking up at all ... don't flatter yourself .. I almost commented the first time I saw you say "I clearly said..." but decided to let it pass .. when I saw it for the second time, when what you said was far from clear - at least to more than one person - then I could no longer resist

[incontinentia]

Would love to see the results of shane lowry doing that - more harm than good? Could result in a lost ball!

every Shane Lowry putt is uphill.

[hend085]

Would love to see the results of shane lowry doing that - more harm than good? Could result in a lost ball!

every Shane Lowry putt is uphill.

dont be so discriminatory

[Davie]

Reports now that Dyson may face further punishment - a fine or a ban for his actions.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/golf/10410193/Simon-Dyson-faces-Dubai-heartache-after-BMW-Masters-disqualification.html

Ridiculous, if true

[kwinigolfer]

Ridiculous.
Only thing is: If four of his fellow pros were "outraged", then perhaps there's some "previous" that's not in the public domain.
But, as things stand, he's already been dq'd from a contending position and is very possibly going to miss out on Dubai.

[MontysMerkin]

Playing the other day and I replaced my ball on the green and it kept falling to the side into a depression. What are you supposed to do? didn't look like there was anything there that I could see even to repair but it did just keep rolling to the side.

[navyblueshorts]

I don't see there being any harm in tapping down a spike mark.

If you could identify one with 100%, fail-safe confidence, it'd be allowed. The same with divots. I'll leave you to guess why it's not allowed...

[navyblueshorts]

Navy

Please re-read my post.  I clearly said it was a brain fart.  As in, he made a mistake without really thinking about it.  Pretty much what I said about tigers drop at the masters.

Fair point but you title your video link as 'Dyson cheating' - I thought that was self-explanatory as to where you stood with his 'brain fart'.

[super_realist]

I don't see there being any harm in tapping down a spike mark.

If you could identify one with 100%, fail-safe confidence, it'd be allowed. The same with divots. I'll leave you to guess why it's not allowed...

I'm not sure I see the similarity between a spike mark and a divot.

[navyblueshorts]

I don't see there being any harm in tapping down a spike mark.

If you could identify one with 100%, fail-safe confidence, it'd be allowed. The same with divots. I'll leave you to guess why it's not allowed...

I'm not sure I see the similarity between a spike mark and a divot.

The similarity is that neither can be determined to be what you think they are with 100% accuracy so the rules decree that you can't fix them even if you're pretty sure they're one or the other. It makes it very clear cut as opposed to being open to, shall we say, 'player interpretation'.

[super_realist]

It's things like that that I hate golf for.

[Lairdy]

Do you think pros practice putting over/through spike marks? Must be some value in doing so.

[golfermartin]

9 times out of 10, it doesn't even affect the roll of the ball. It's a mental thing really. How often have you putted through what looks like a ploughed field on your line, only to see the ball roll straight and true with no deviation. And on the other hand, have a ball suddenly deviate with no rhyme or reason as to why?

[super_realist]

You only have to play early in the morning or on a late evening to see how irregular the surface of every green is when the sun is low, no matter how good it looks during the day.
I agree a spike mark may not make too much difference in that respect in terms of the whole track of the putt and what the ball rolls over.

[navyblueshorts]

It's things like that that I hate golf for.

I don't know why. It makes it much clearer and reduces a cavalier approach maybe.

[super_realist]

far too much pedantry in the game.

[pedro]

Dyson only had a 3-footer left, so the spike could have made a difference.

PS. Didn't Dyson play the self-spanking monk in The da Vinci Code? I guess he now spanked himself yet again.

[golfermartin]

Dyson only had a 3-footer left, so the spike could have made a difference.

There is a remote possibility that it could have - true. The contact area between a ball and the green is so small that it would have had to have been smack on his line to have stood any chance of making a difference. And even then it probably wouldn't have affected it.

[navyblueshorts]

far too much pedantry in the game.

Maybe, but that's not a good example of it.

[Humpyd]

I'm surprised that 1 of his playing partners or caddies didn't say anything at the time.

[super_realist]

it's a spike mark for goodness sake, not removing a volcanic plug

[MustPuttBetter]

I've wondered before how many players have a sneaky repair of anything in their line regardless of whether it's a pitch or spike mark. Bearing in mind you're told to repair your pitch mark and one other, who's going to notice? and how often do you see someone bent over inspecting the ground to make sure what they're repairing isn a pitch mark.

I bet this happens ALL the time

[super_realist]

also, you could brush debris away but at the same time smooth a spike mark

[MontysMerkin]

far too much pedantry in the game.

Maybe, but that's not a good example of it.

Don't be pedantic.

[MustPuttBetter]

A bit like repairing a spike mark, i wonder what other things aren't really cheating?

Sometimes you see someone pressing their club down behind the ball to flatten the grass in the contact area a little bit. Is that really cheating?

[MontysMerkin]

A bit like repairing a spike mark, i wonder what other things aren't really cheating?

Sometimes you see someone pressing their club down behind the ball to flatten the grass in the contact area a little bit. Is that really cheating?

My mate does that all the time - I call him on it tho. You have to be careful with the cheating cockwomble.

[Sponsored content]