Lyrics you hate thread

[JuliusHMarx]

Not just bad lyrics, but lyrics which want to make you find the guy who wrote them and punch his face in

I'll start with Adrian Gurwitz. the song is called 'Classic'
Got to write a classic
Got to write it in an attic
Babe, I'm an addict now
An addict for your love

First of all who would write a song an immediately label it a classic. It's not a classic, it's sh!t, you egotistical tw@t
Now then, what rhymes with 'classic'? Nothing. "I know, I'll put attic" - why would you have to write it in an attic - because it's all you could come up with that remotely goes with 'classic', you kn0b!
Oh, and 'addict' sounds vaguely the same, so he threw that in as well - 'addict for your love' - crap line, d1ckhead.

Not that it's wound me up for 30 years or anything.

[Rowley]

Pretty much all the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody.

Scaramosh, scaramosh can you do the fandango?

What?

[Rowley]

I know some people love it as well but hate Imagine and its lyrics. Sentimental drippy hippy drivel from start to finish. Imagine if everyone was nice to each other, wouldn't that be lovely.

[Galted]

Good thread Julius.

Guns 'n Roses are the champions of sh1t lyrics, these are my favourites:

She's got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
How the f*** does something remind you of a memory, or seem to remind you of a memory?

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
Eh? Her hair reminds you of the floor beneath a bed?  Or a cupboard perhaps?

[JuliusHMarx]

Imagine if everyone was nice to each other, wouldn't that be lovely.

It would make modding the tennis section a lot easier

[JuliusHMarx]

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
Eh? Her hair reminds you of the floor beneath a bed?  Or a cupboard perhaps?

 

[Rowley]

Imagine if everyone was nice to each other, wouldn't that be lovely.

It would make modding the tennis section a lot easier

Very true mate. I did try and help out once on the night Nadal went out of Wimbledon. Will not be making that mistake again in a hurry.

[JuliusHMarx]

The other thing that gets my goat is emphasis on the wrong syllables.
Much as I like the songs Mr. Ant, it's not Prince Char-MING, it's Prince CHAR-ming. And it's not "your money or YOUR life", it's "your money or your LIFE"

[sodhat]

Anyone heard the new Placebo song? I think it's called Too Many Friends.

That first verse.

Christ. It's like he's googled words that rhyme with "gay" and stuck anything in there.

[88Chris05]

Who sings that absolute horse manure record called 'Jack' which is in the charts right now? Yep, I know it's a dance track and as such, lyrics aren't that important to the little friggers who love that kind of stuff, but seriously.....

"I want your body everybody wants your body so let's jack."

And that's it. That single line repeated about ninety times in five minutes. The song starts and bloody ends there. It makes my blood boil that someone can put so little effort in to a record and make money off it!

Will.I.Am, too. "I love my baby yes I do, Tom and Jerry and Scooby Doo!" or something along those lines in that latest record of his.

[superflyweight]

The whole of Ironic by Alanns Morrisette for reasons brilliantly pointed out by Ed Byrne many years ago!

[Guest]

"Upsy Daisy here I come,
I'm the only Upsy one
I'm the only Daisy too
Ipsy Upsy daisy do"

Drivel, Makka Pakka s***s all over this b***h

One Direction - Little Things
"You can't go to bed, without a cup of tea,
Maybe that's the reason why you talk your sleep"

I take it they're talking about some 16 year old girl they're dating as opposed to some old granny however, how many girls have a cup of tea before bed?

[Galted]

Lenny Kravitz:
I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

I'd fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

[JuliusHMarx]

Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya

[Mind the windows Tino.]

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump

My hump my hump, my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps
Check it out

The Black Eyed Tw*ts.

[Guest]

Robbie Williams - Let me entertain you

No, just **** off you smug twunt

[ONETWOFOREVER]

A ziggy ziggy i'm getting jiggy

Abs from 5

Thank GOD their gone

This was the first line from a song they made. Remember hearing it right before I changed the channel.

[Duty281]

One Direction:

You're insecure,
Don't know what for,
You're turning heads when you walk through the door,
Don't need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough.

Powerful lyrics or what?    

[TRUSSMAN66]

I know some people love it as well but hate Imagine and its lyrics. Sentimental drippy hippy drivel from start to finish. Imagine if everyone was nice to each other, wouldn't that be lovely.

I love Imagine.....Woman.... and Jealous guy also... all Lennon's masterpieces...........Truly wonderful songwriter and truly wonderful pieces.............

Guy was a hypocrite but hey aren't we all.........

[dummy_half]

"Upsy Daisy here I come,
I'm the only Upsy one
I'm the only Daisy too
Ipsy Upsy daisy do"

Drivel, Makka Pakka s***s all over this b***h

Didn't you also make comment on the 'What are you reading?' thread about Room on the Broom for the 49237th time? If so I think we are living parallel lives  

Anyway, back on topic, what gets me are lyrics that really jar when sung - Alicia Keyes on Empire State of Mind:
New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of'

WTF is the 'OF' about - makes no sense.

[TRUSSMAN66]

"E's are good E's are good..He's Ebenezer Good...."

Yeah great lyrics you slimebags.........Maybe you can sing them to the parents of some of the kids that have took them and died..

[Guest]

"Upsy Daisy here I come,
I'm the only Upsy one
I'm the only Daisy too
Ipsy Upsy daisy do"

Drivel, Makka Pakka s***s all over this b***h

Didn't you also make comment on the 'What are you reading?' thread about Room on the Broom for the 49237th time? If so I think we are living parallel lives  

Anyway, back on topic, what gets me are lyrics that really jar when sung - Alicia Keyes on Empire State of Mind:
New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of'

WTF is the 'OF' about - makes no sense.

I've taken an irrational (albeit immense) dislike for Upsy Daisy. None of the others infuriate me as much as this character so it's a good bet that I'm simply reiterating how much of a **** I think she is. Mind you, Iggle Piggle needs to accept his share of the responsibility. He allows her to lead him around by the d!ck and I think any self respecting children's character would have kicked her a55 to the kerb a long time ago.

Fight the Power!

[compelling and rich]

gwen stefani when she just starts spelling out banana   

[kingraf]

I love the
B
A
N
A
N
A

song, compelling. Its intentionally random. What I dont like is a Dr Dre lyric which went something like

Your gap tooth so big I could put my d**k through

Something to that effect, not exactly a ringing endorsement of your manhood

[superflyweight]

"E's are good E's are good..He's Ebenezer Good...."

Yeah great lyrics you slimebags.........Maybe you can sing them to the parents of some of the kids that have took them and died..

Or to the parents of some of the kids that took them and had a great time.

[The Special Juan]

"Sumfin kinda ooh, jumpin' on my tutu, sumfinside of me, wants some part of you-oo-oo"

If that won't win a Booker Prize, what will? Eat your heart out Seamus Heaney.

[VTR]

I don't want to see a ghost
Its the thing I fear the most
I'd rather have a piece of Toast

Life by Des'ree - astonishingly bad lyrics!

[Guest]

"I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky,
I should be so lucky in love"

"la la la, la la lala la"

Kylie, great ar5e but her lyrics are, well, absolutely ar5e!!!!!!

[Mind the windows Tino.]

"Are we human or are we dancer?"

Brandon flowers.

What the f*ck is all that about?

[Galted]

Not sure but it set up a brilliant David Armand interpretation.

[Galted]

Simon And Garfunkel At The Zoo

Someone told me
It's all happening at the zoo.
I do believe it,
I do believe it's true.

Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Whoooa. Mmmmm.

It's a light and tumble journey
From the East Side to the park;
Just a fine and fancy ramble
To the zoo.

But you can take the crosstown bus
If it's raining or it's cold,
And the animals will love it
If you do.
If you do.

Something tells me
It's all happening at the zoo.
I do believe it,
I do believe it's true.

Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Whoooa. Mmmmm.

The monkeys stand for honesty,
Giraffes are insincere,
And the elephants are kindly but
They're dumb.
Orangutans are skeptical
Of changes in their cages,
And the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Zebras are reactionaries,
Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.
What a gas! You gotta come and see
At the zoo.
At the zoo.
At the zoo.
At the zoo.
At the zoo.
At the zoo.
At the zoo.
At the zoo.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

They have a point about pigeons though.

[Galted]

Reminds me of an old, long-haired nutcase sitting in Broadgate a few years back, probably a senile hippie who'd taken too much lsd.  He kept on shouting "the pigeons come from Southampton" (at the pigeons) which makes more sense than this load of b0ll0cks.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I've been giving it a bit more thought.

Are the pigeons at the zoo as in they have their own enclosure or are they just flying around the zoo as non-paying avian visitors?  If they have their own enclosure, then that is one sh*t zoo.  Unless they are rare pigeons from somewhere?  Do rare pigeons even exist?

And hamsters?  I went to Colchester zoo over the last bank holiday.  Not a hamster to be seen.  They don't have them in zoos do they?  Paul Simon obviously wasn't referencing Colchester when he wrote that.  And what does he mean by "turn on frequently"?  Turn each other on?  Turn the lights on?  It makes no sense.

Giraffes, 'insincere'?  How so?  You can't just throw that out there without some kind of explanation.

Elephants, 'dumb'?  Love to see Simon or Garfunkel say that to a female African elephant protecting her young.

Could you please answer my questions, Galted?  They are troubling me this morning.

[Galted]

Could you please answer my questions, Galted?  They are troubling me this morning.

No problems, Tino - the answer is that I posted it in the "lyrics you hate" thread, not the "most profound lyrics you've ever heard part I - animals".  

This link might also go some way to answering your question
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2394369/Hairy-dog-passed-Lion-China-zoo-Peoples-Park-staff-pretend-Tibetan-mastiff-African-lion.html

[Galted]

And hamsters?  I went to Colchester zoo over the last bank holiday.  Not a hamster to be seen.  They don't have them in zoos do they?  Paul Simon obviously wasn't referencing Colchester when he wrote that.  And what does he mean by "turn on frequently"?  Turn each other on?  Turn the lights on?  It makes no sense.

Agree, might be confusing them with guinea pigs which are sometimes found in zoos.  With regards to "turning on" perhaps he's confusing bum hamsters with Rampant Rabbits - can't offer much more in the way of explanation.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Could you please answer my questions, Galted?  They are troubling me this morning.

No problems, Tino - the answer is that I posted it in the "lyrics you hate" thread, not the "most profound lyrics you've ever heard part I - animals".  

This link might also go some way to answering your question
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2394369/Hairy-dog-passed-Lion-China-zoo-Peoples-Park-staff-pretend-Tibetan-mastiff-African-lion.html

Another mother Liu Wen was also furious.

She said: "I had my young son with me so I tried to play along and told him it was a special kind of lion.

But then the dog barked and he knew straight away what it was and that I'd lied to him".

It may just be me, but I find that hilarious and deeply saddening at the same time.

[Galted]

Could you please answer my questions, Galted?  They are troubling me this morning.

No problems, Tino - the answer is that I posted it in the "lyrics you hate" thread, not the "most profound lyrics you've ever heard part I - animals".  

This link might also go some way to answering your question
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2394369/Hairy-dog-passed-Lion-China-zoo-Peoples-Park-staff-pretend-Tibetan-mastiff-African-lion.html

Another mother Liu Wen was also furious.

She said: "I had my young son with me so I tried to play along and told him it was a special kind of lion.

But then the dog barked and he knew straight away what it was and that I'd lied to him".

It may just be me, but I find that hilarious and deeply saddening at the same time.

You got that right, really sad that their big day out involved this sh1t but the photos and sheer cheek of it are priceless.

Reminds me a bit of this...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/12.stm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-11962334

[Mind the windows Tino.]

You got that right, really sad that their big day out involved this sh1t but the photos and sheer cheek of it are priceless.

Reminds me a bit of this...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/12.stm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-11962334

"there was no Seamus the elf to take us to santa"  

The 'elf' in picture 5 looks like he is about to shoot that man in the back of the head.

[Galted]

The irony is that it got closed down because of how rubbish it was but a few colleagues and I were quite keen on going when we'd seen the article.

Saw a photo in another article of an "elf" having a fag at the entrance, looked like a p1ssed up 50-year-old ex-jockey.

[Scottrff]

'I told a midget bitch I do it big, hippopotomus' - Lil Wayne.

[sodhat]

It's only a single line, and I don't know why, but I hate it a great deal. It ruins the song for me and I really can't place my distaste for it. From Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind:

"Do ever what you wanna do"

It may be the delivery. The questionable grammar. I don't know, but I hate it.

[Guest]

"Purple Rain, purple rain, Purple Rain, purple rain, Purple Rain, purple rain"

[Il Gialloblu]

"Are we human or are we dancer?"

Brandon flowers.

What the f*ck is all that about?

 
From wiki:
 
On the band's official website, the biography section states that Flowers is singing "Are we human, or are we dancer?" and also says that the lyrics were inspired by a disparaging comment made by Hunter S. Thompson, where he stated America was raising "a generation of dancers".[12][13] If "dancer" is taken as a collective noun for that generation, it works without the "s" (just as "human" does in the first part of the question).
 

I know some people love it as well but hate Imagine and its lyrics. Sentimental drippy hippy drivel from start to finish. Imagine if everyone was nice to each other, wouldn't that be lovely.

 
Forrest Gump did help him write it. You can't expect Keats.
 

What I dont like is a Dr Dre lyric which went something like

Your gap tooth so big I could put my d**k through

Something to that effect, not exactly a ringing endorsement of your manhood

 
Check some of these, Kingraf:
 
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-12-least-impressive-boasts-in-rap-lyrics/
 
http://www.cracked.com/article_16158_the-11-most-unintentionally-gay-rap-lyrics-ever.html
 
http://www.cracked.com/article_15120_the-5-worst-lyrics-ever-to-ruin-good-rap-songs.html
 
http://www.cracked.com/article/88_the-15-most-baffling-boasts-in-history-rap/
 
http://www.cracked.com/article_17391_14-more-most-unintentionally-gay-rap-lyrics-ever.html
 

Now then, what rhymes with 'classic'? Nothing.

 
Jurassic?

[Scottrff]

Thoracic.
 
Plastic, dractic must at least be half rhymes.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

"Are we human or are we dancer?"

Brandon flowers.

What the f*ck is all that about?

 
From wiki:
 
On the band's official website, the biography section states that Flowers is singing "Are we human, or are we dancer?" and also says that the lyrics were inspired by a disparaging comment made by Hunter S. Thompson, where he stated America was raising "a generation of dancers".[12][13] If "dancer" is taken as a collective noun for that generation, it works without the "s" (just as "human" does in the first part of the question).
 

That makes it an even worse lyric then.  Pompous t*sser.

Flowers, not you Ill Gia.

[Il Gialloblu]

They're playing Shanghai in October, Tino. I'm tempted.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

They're playing Shanghai in October, Tino. I'm tempted.

Don't let me put you off. I don't actually mind them, just hate that lyric!

[Il Gialloblu]

Ha. The latest album is really good.
 
Seems more and more artists are playing the mainland now. Bit pricey though. I had to give Pet Shop Boys a miss in August as the cheap seats were about forty quid, and Elton John a few months previous as I'd rather watch paint dry, then get wet and dry again, but The Killers could well be a goer.
 
I quite like the Human lyric by the way.

[Rowley]

I don't like the Killers, but don't let that influence your decision Il

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