Tigers : An open letter to Burt

Dear Mr Lancaster,

As a key and willing supplier of motors to the England fleet, I note that when they are returned they are prone to be in a damaged condition.

Mo0st recently, the Youngs has had to be returned after only two outings with a damaged front end and will require some workshop repairs which may require protracted bodyshop attention to restore it to pristine condition.

Please can you ensure that you endeavour to take more care with the other Tigers on loan?

We are now in possession of only one racing model of the type of the Youngs and that has had few test laps. And is required for domestic use.

In particular please take especial care of the Flood as our prototype Ford is barely out of extensive development.

There are other suppliers of quality motors available and maybe you should consider them. In the meantime, may I request that you utilise one of them as your default supplier?

Incidentally, neither the Ford nor the Harrison(ed) models will be prepared for all-terrain duty for a year or two.

Yours
Portnoy

Hamilton?

Sorry LT, Harrison.
:blush:

Brilliant.

If they could be particularly careful with our power lifter Cole that would be also appreciated as, although, there are other machines available to the club the English manufacture proved superior to either the Italian or Samoan construction last season.

Dear Mr Lancaster,

As feared the damage to the Youngs mini is as extensive.

A bill for repairs is in the post.

Yours,
Portnoy.

Dear Burt,

This is getting ridiculous now.

The Flood requires workshop repairs and I suspect that the Cole has an oil leak which may require a new head gasket and a renewed exhaust manifold.

I suspect that you may be are living under the illusion that as domestically our fleet is badged under the Caterpillar brand, it means that they are indestructible.

Thankfully the Manu requires only a routine servicing despite it's heavy use in conditions to which it was not developed.

In future, please ensure that if you require motors and are prepared to run them into the ground, then use our London-based rivals.

You think you've had it bad? We lost Robshaw, Lowe and Brown. Only three of the most important players we have!

Yeah im waiting for the "watchdog" expose highlighting the RFUs practise of unqualified mechanics like Callum Clarke to service the fleet