Fantasy European League™ Press releases

Post any press releases here such as transfer gossip, pre match build up and anything else which springs to mind.

Arsenal Press Conference...

Macclads takes to the stage where the press await him.

Macc: The rumours are indeed true. RVP is allowed to leave the Emirates if, and ONLY if the right deal is made available to Arsenal football club that continues to grow us.
We reserve the right to retain his sevices if we feel no deal is forthcoming and we look forward to the many faxes arriving over the coming hours.

Spurs Press Conference

Y I Man confirms to the waiting media that Spurs have captured the signing of Maicon from Inter Milan. Maicon has put pen to paper in a 3 year deal and will go straight into the starting lineup for the first home game.

Bayern Press Conferece

Mr Long Leggy Cleggy Weggy:

Ich werde diese mächtige Team zum Sieg zu führen!

And my starlets are not for sale. Bastian and Philipp has matching tatoos on their posteriors saying how much they love Bayern.

Now Bale can turn Maicon inside out everyday at training!

Spurs Press Conference

After a busy day of negotiations Spurs are also happy to confirm the signature of Robben. With 7 goals in 15 games so far this season, he is a welcome addition to our squad and will strengthen our attack further.
We look forward to working with Robben and Maicon on our right wing making them a force to be reckoned with.

Bayern Press Release

We are happy to confirm the signing of Luka Modric in exchange for Robben, Olic and an undisclosed sum of money. We feel Modric will greatly improve our midfield with Bastian Schweinsteiger and they will be a partnership to behold. Obviously, we wish Robben and Olic well for the future.

In other news, we are not quite finished in the transfer window and you can expect some players to come in and more to leave.

Spurs Press Conference

Following yesterdays busy day in the transfer market we are delighted to bring in Pepe Reina from Liverpool with Brad Friedel going in the opposite direction. Reina is one of best keepers in the world and thus strengthens our squad even further. Pepe has received our No1 shirt and will be our first choice keeper. We wish Brad all the best at Liverpool.

Arsenal are pleased to announce the acquisition of the following players to the Emirates after a busy couple of days have finally showed fruition.

Mesut Ozil, Karim Benzema, Fabio Coetntrao, Arturo Vidal, Simone Pepe, Holger Badstuber and Tom Huddlestone.

Arsenal though wish to confirm that they hope to further strengthen the squad in the coming weeks and that due to this other players may leave to finance this.
We request that if you are interested in ANY Arsenal player to contat us directly and we shall evaluate the offer and get back to you as soon as possible.
We look forward to doing business with you.

Munchen are pleased to announce the capture of Marco Reus which brings our total squad number up to 15.

With 13 goals this season, Reus has proved he is one of the hottest talents in the game. He has broken into the German national team and is definitely on the way to greatness.

In other news, Munchen have announced that they will continue to pursue new faces for the club, although due to budget constraints this may be difficult. We remind the fans that we are not in debt and will not seek to go into administration. (like Rangers )

Arsenal are pleased to announce they have kept to their promises and have acquired two of the greatest talents in World football in Mario Gotze and Neymar.
We look forward to seeing them on the pitch in the coming weeks and with money still in the bank then we hope to continue to improve the team in order to challenge for major honours this season!

I'm delighted with the win we got against Spurs. It's good to get the season starting with 3 points so I hope we can continue this fine start to our next game.

The Arsenal manager takes to the stage after the first game v Liverpool...

We showed real spirit out there today, it's a new team with a lot of young faces out there but they showed that they were men rather than boys. With Ozil now match fit for next week I'm sure there's not many teams that will look forward to the attacking threat that Ozil, Gotze, Neymar and Benzema pose and I'm sure our German contingent are looking forward to getting one over Bayern in the coming week!

Bayern Statement Release

Regardless of the result tomorrow, we are letting it known that we are abandoning the team pub crawl the night before matches due to financial reasons. This has nothing to do with the rumour that Luiz Gustavo bottled a DJ because he refused to change the track to "Rude Boy" by Rihanna.

In an unrelated incident, Luiz Gustavo has been fined his whole Rihanna collection for an unspecified incident involving a bottle, Rihanna and a DJ.

Manchester United manager Hodgey has today claimed that his side are in the market for a central midfielder. Despite a promising start to the season, it is believed Frank Lampard is no longer in Hodgey's plans and the manager is seeking a more orthodox holding midfielder to partner Michael Essien.

Arsenal Press Conference

Macclads takes the seat as the press ready themselves with pens in hand.

Press; Mr Lads, 2 games into the season and you're sitting with 4 points including a very credible draw away at Bayern Munich, did you expect to be doing so well so quickly?

Macc; I think if you look at the attacking options we've assembled at this club then you have to think anything is possible, to be honest I'm more disappointed we've not got the full six points, but being above the likes of Barcelona does bring a smile to my face.

Press; It seems you're looking to build a team that is quite young in age and have acquired several talents that have been rumoured to be joining the likes of Madrid and Barca, is this your strategy?

Macc; Very much, there's no-one I want in my team that are living on past glories, for me this is about bringing in players that are playing well right now and will continue to do so in the coming years. This isn't a last payday for long in the tooth players, this is acquiring exciting talent to dominate the game and we shall continue to target players that fit this ethos.

Press; And how is your relationship with some of the other managers in the league, I heard rumours that some are getting fed up with your constant barrage of offers.

Macc; My philosophy is if I don't try, I don't get. Throw enough stuff their way and they might just get worn down and say yes hopefully just to get shut of me!

Press; The next two weeks see games v AC Milan and Man Utd, another two strong teams, will you have to adapt your attack minded set up to negate their threats?

Macc; The best way to avoid defending is to attack, I'd be hoping more that these teams have to change their game to combat my team. Now if you're all done there's a 17 Peruvian Wonderkid called Andy Polo I've got my scouts watching.

Quality Mac

Pav rejects deal to take over from the 'special one' to be the new face of Gillette.

In a brief statement which may cause some controversy, Pav said 'Because I'm worth it' and with that left the room.

The Bayern Manager is spotted playing golf. The press run over to him.

Press: Mr Weggy, how has the season gone for you so far?

Mr. W: We've done alright. Unbeaten after playing 2/3 London clubs. Kam, we are coming for your Chelsea team! We're doing better than Barcelona which is nice but the fact is there are teams in this league who are better than Barcelona. They aren't the standard bearers anymore.

Press: And what of the rumours of a rift between you and the Arsenal manager after there was a bust up in the tunnel between Fabianski and Bastian Schweinsteiger following the draw?

Mr. W: There is no rift between us. Whatever happened between Flappyhandski and The Chief is none of my concern. As long as it's been sorted out and was a one off, we can concentrate on the next game against Juve.

Press: Your thoughts on the upcoming match?

Mr. W: It'll be a tough game. We are away from home and up against a tough team but if we work hard I set the team up well hopefully we can get a good result.

Press: And will Schweinsteiger be playing?

Mr. W: Yes. Enough of these stupid rumours. This conference is over. Now watch this drive...

Arsenal Press Conference

Hero enter the room dressed in lederhosen and sporting a mullet as David Hasslehoff plays in the background.

Press: Mr Hero! May I ask you in regards to your recent transfer policy at Highbury, you have been accused of becoming transfixed with the current German national team, is this true?

Hero: Nein! Zat is a spurilious lie that my secret police will be dealing with in due course!

Press; But you've now got a starting eleven that barring Vidal who until recently played in Germany and Subotic and Chesney both of whom are Polish are all German!

Hero: Ja! Zat iz good ja? I recognise these players have an efficiency and drive to them, they work like a well oiled machine and shall soon be marching over Europe!

Press: Slightly concerning there then, good job PSG aren't in this league then.

Hero: Ve vill soon be launching a new partnership with one of the Italian teams to work together in dis league and hope to bring forth a new dominant attack force that shall have the likes of Tottenham running to hide in their attics.

Press; I think we're best leaving this interview now.

AC Milan.

Milan annoce the signing of a new manager.....

"IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE BRAHMABULL IS COOKING!"

Bull is proud to take charge of Milan , we wish him the best of luck.




AC Milan.

Milan are proud to announce the signing of J.Pastore!

He becomes the first player signed by Bull ( new manager )

The Young Kid With Talent will make really difference in where we Finnish this season.

Bull has said that he has closely been watching Pastore play before he was given the job chance.

Laid the 'smack-down' with that signing

Dont get him started Kamran

Indeed Kamran

'It doesn't matter what you think Gav'

Right, I'm off before I start start whipping some 'candy-ass'

City on the up!

Manchester City have been busy in the transfer market lately, notably securing two of the best full backs in the world in Philip Lahm and Ashley Cole.

Elsewhere City signed the combative midfield duo of Arturo Vidal and Javier Mascherano.

Manager pullthestrings has expressed his disappointment at the last few weeks results and hopes that these signings will go some way to bringing good fortune for the remainder of the season.

Hero takes the stage at the Arsenal press conference.

Press: Mr Hero, rumours have been circulating for the past few days that you were going to announce a big name signing, is this true.

H: No it's not true. I'm not here to announce one big name signing.
I'm here to announce several. Let me introduce you to our brand new midfield partnership...
Xabi Alonso & Andres Iniesta

The press applaud as both men emerge wearing the red of Arsenal.

H: But that is not all. Gomez unfortunately has moved on and we wish him all the best in his future endeavours.

Press: That is a huge loss Hero, do you not think your fans will be unhappy losing such a quality striker, his goal scoring record of late has been fantastic.

H: I understand those frustations.
I just hope that the next two signing may make up for it...

Hero stands up with a big beam across his face.

Ladies & Gentlemen, the impossible is possible, dreams can come true and miracles can happen. Let me welcome onto the stage, our new number 7 and number 10....

Cristiano Ronaldo & Lionel Messi!

Half the press faint, Twitter goes down for several hours and several children are conceived in North London that night.

You still trying to convince TSC and Brahma that they haven't had their pants pulled down?!

Hey both were royally screwed by the injuries rather than me.
I just then made the most of the situation

You made the most alright - all fair but amazing how you convinced both to let go of their prize possessions.

Personality they should have swapped but Hero saw an opportunity and boy does he persist

That's the downside of having a job - I don't have the time to pester!

Bet the monthly salary makes up for it though