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Biggest golfing cliches

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Doon the Water
Noshankingtonite
Yadsendew
MustPuttBetter
Rossa
Doc
Maverick
SmithersJones
Eyetoldyouso
Faldono1fan
Shotrock
puligny
JPX
theeldestboy
LondonJonnyO
Davie
barragan
drive4show
kwinigolfer
super_realist
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Post by super_realist Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:25 pm

These are usually uttered by coffin dodgers and duffers but what rubbish cliches or pointless proclamations do you hate to hear?
Here are mine:


"One" when a ball falls off the tee.

"I don't go that far on my holidays" When someone hits a long drive.

"That'll come down with snow on it" Response to a high shot.

"We've got it surrounded" when a few shots hit the green.

"Well out" when someone simply gets the ball out of a bunker, but is nothing more spectacular than that.




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Post by kwinigolfer Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:29 pm

AMF: When a ball goes wide right or wide left. (Use your imagination or ask Davie.)

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Post by drive4show Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:31 pm

Choobs shouting 'in da hole' especially on a par 4 tee shot 🤦

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Post by super_realist Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:33 pm

Agreed, those types should be executed.

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Post by barragan Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:37 pm

"it just 'had' to go in" [but it didn't]

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:39 pm

kwinigolfer wrote:AMF: When a ball goes wide right or wide left. (Use your imagination or ask Davie.)

If anyone asks me, who should I ask? Doh

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Post by drive4show Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:40 pm

Davie wrote:
kwinigolfer wrote:AMF: When a ball goes wide right or wide left. (Use your imagination or ask Davie.)

If anyone asks me, who should I ask? Doh

That's the best laugh on here so far today Very Happy

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Post by barragan Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:42 pm

"great strike"

"nice roll"

"good feel"

"nice touch"

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:47 pm

"Does your husband play too" (when a putt is left woefully short)

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Post by LondonJonnyO Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:49 pm

Davie wrote:"Does your husband play too" (when a putt is left woefully short)

I prefer something different when a putt is left that far short.

Something along the lines of 'Your tampax fell out back there'
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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:51 pm

There are moments when, just very occasionally, I wish gaelgowfer had followed us here

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Post by drive4show Wed 01 Jun 2011, 12:58 pm

Davie

I mailed everyone on the old 606 contact list to let them know about this place. Lots of them haven't been seen for quite a while, like Shabino.

Hopefully we'll see some of them sign up.

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Post by theeldestboy Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:03 pm

"Unlucky", when your playing partner chunks one 4 yards, while in your head you're actually screaming with laughter.
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Post by drive4show Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:06 pm

Worst of all is when someone hits a shot that is SOO bad, nobody says anything at all.

Zip

Silence

Don't know where to look



Bloody funny though Laugh

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Post by theeldestboy Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:06 pm

"These greens are slow" when you leave your 8th consecutive putt short of the hole.

I'm very familiar with this one.
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Post by JPX Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:07 pm

After a poor bunker shot.......

"There's not enough sand in this bunker" (or too much sand)


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Post by puligny Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:14 pm

Only thinking of those by me about me!

"s..t"
"you plank"
"clown"

and just once
"easy game"

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Post by JPX Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:14 pm

drive4show wrote:Worst of all is when someone hits a shot that is SOO bad, nobody says anything at all.

Zip

Silence

Don't know where to look



Bloody funny though Laugh
If it's a duffed shot I usually find a loud shout of "Forrrrrrre!" or "Get up!" helps laughing

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Post by puligny Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:17 pm

Bite! - particularly on a fierce putt!!

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Post by Shotrock Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:21 pm

On a fast swing ... "I wasn't that quick on my wedding night"

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:22 pm

"be the club" Rolling Eyes

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Post by puligny Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:22 pm

Shotrock - "slowed that one to a blur!"

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Post by puligny Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:24 pm

"how did it turn that way?"
"it turned uphill!"

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Post by theeldestboy Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:25 pm

JPX wrote:If it's a duffed shot I usually find a loud shout of "Forrrrrrre!" or "Get up!" helps laughing

Ha, my mate does this. He's usually a great driver of the ball but sometimes he goes a bit hard at it and the result is usually a big block right. His response is to always (in a joking way) confidently pull the tee from the ground and declare "perfect, that's exactly the line in i was looking for". Just recently, to play along with the joke, with a straight face and a slight nod the rest of us will say "cracking shot" or "that's unerring accuracy mate, brilliant".

Good banter.
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Post by kwinigolfer Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:26 pm

"The three worst words in golf" (except for amf of course).

"Up and down from the ballwasher"

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Post by puligny Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:28 pm

Kwini - worst words are an opponent saying "I get 2 shots on this hole!"

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:29 pm

I'm still confused what AMF means!

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Post by kwinigolfer Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:31 pm

"A" is for Adios

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:33 pm

I'm hoping MF isn't what it usually stands for!

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Post by LondonJonnyO Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:34 pm

Davie wrote:I'm hoping MF isn't what it usually stands for!
Michael Fish?
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Post by kwinigolfer Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:35 pm

MF is for whatever you want it to be Davie!
Maurice Flitcroft perhaps? Nah!

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:36 pm

Yes Maurice! Ahhh bless him. Happy memories whenever I see that name...

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Post by Faldono1fan Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:36 pm

"Never up,Never in" when a putt comes up short.

"Taxi!" When a putt races past the hole.

"Too high to qualify" When a drive is skyed.

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Post by puligny Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:38 pm

Is it Mother Father?

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Post by Eyetoldyouso Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:41 pm

After a duffed tee shot - "Bad lie?"

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Post by SmithersJones Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:43 pm

Things people always seem to say to me;

"How did that stay up?"
"That's about the 5th time you've lipped out today"
And last but by no means least;

"Oooh, how unlucky was that?!" steam
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Post by Faldono1fan Wed 01 Jun 2011, 1:49 pm

Surely it's "my friend"?

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Post by Maverick Wed 01 Jun 2011, 2:16 pm

1. These holes are crowned! (when someone cant hole a putt in reality they can't putt)
2.RAZZ! (Maybe this is local to but when you get some fool shouting RAZZ at their ball mid flight in hope that will make it spin)
3.You Da Man (Anyone shouting this should have their tongue cut out with a plastic knife)
4. Be the Ball (Only Ty webb can get away with this one)
5. I Whiffed it! (when they hit a bad shot! I am known to say upon hearing this one, is that part of your pre-shot routine getting down and sniffing it before pplaying the shot)

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Post by LondonJonnyO Wed 01 Jun 2011, 2:19 pm

I should like to point out that I shouted

'Hit the rake!' at a shot played by Oldshanker last night. It did. And it held onto the back edge of the green after having done so.
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Post by Doc Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:00 pm

Bar Steward green staff are always cutting the holes on top of a saucer.

Sit, sit, sit!!! does my head in listening to players shouting at over clubbed balls or fast putts.

Australian areshole, I'm sick of bommeranging out of the cup.

Why can't these prats keep these branches in check, because I havn't hit a fairway all day

Who put that rake there ffs Very Happy

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Post by Rossa Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:04 pm

My most used phrase is about myself and goes anlong the lines of.

"You useless Flip prick"
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Post by Maverick Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:05 pm

Another one I hate. I pured that!!!


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Post by Rossa Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:05 pm

Or the other one when i race a putt past...

"that was a bit bold"
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Post by MustPuttBetter Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:07 pm

"After a duffed tee shot - "Bad lie?""

Is brilliant! Cliche or not, i'm using it!!

S_R - last time i played i took 3 attempts to get out of a nasty bunker and the 3rd was left purching precariously on the lip, after which my playing partner said 'well out'.
I remember thinking "really? was it really well out???!!" Very Happy
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Post by Faldono1fan Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:08 pm

"You gave that some pasty" A west country term for a well hit drive.

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Post by super_realist Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:10 pm

I really really hate it when someone says:

"You boomed that drive"

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Post by Maverick Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:14 pm

Thats a Worm Burner (When someone thins one low)

this next will offend Mac and his sensitive guardianister ears as it has a bad word!!!!

That was an Angel Raper (when some one skys one)

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Post by LondonJonnyO Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:17 pm

Mave. The term Angel Raper is wrong.

In future please refer to it as follows:

An angel just got some surprise sex.
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Post by Maverick Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:20 pm

LondonJonnyO wrote:Mave. The term Angel Raper is wrong.

In future please refer to it as follows:

An angel just got some surprise sex.

What if you shout surprise first then they have sufficient warning and cannot constitute the R word!

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Post by Davie Wed 01 Jun 2011, 3:22 pm

I'm surprised the profanity filter didn't change it to "Angel Cuddler" Laugh

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